Name: I was laid off 9 mo ago...here's how it's going.
Uploaded: 2024-10-23T02:09:13.000Z
Duration: 18 min 19 s
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Gerund

Hi Uniqlo's! It has been a minute since I have been on here. I'm so sorry for stepping away, but it has been nine months since you-know-what has happened. I'm here to report that this year has been the most pivotal, chaotic, and pleasantly unexpected year of my life. Let me set you down somewhere. I'm currently in San Francisco at my friend's place for a wedding. I know I've been very MIA from YouTube, but I have been consistently putting out on Jumbopod and IG Reels, so if you've been following me there, I hope you've been liking it. I really miss YouTube. I mean, this is where I started. I will definitely come back. It's just all of this is a lot to operate. Your girl's getting very little sleep, working all the time, and I promised I would do a brutally honest post-layoff

The comparative

Q&A at the nine-month mark, so I posted on my IG stories to ask for questions, and I got a ton, and then I categorized all of them into burning topics. The first question is, how are you doing? I actually get, how are you doing and how's your mental health in real life a lot. My mental is better than when I was working, surprisingly. I would say things are not as intense as before, and there's still like some things I'm working out, but overall pretty good.

Past simple

I mentioned right now I'm in San Francisco for a wedding. Kevin is a groomsman, so he is at the site already, so I'll meet up with him later. There are highs and there are lows. Like recently, I had an old family friend pass, and that was kind of a shock, and I literally just saw her this summer.

And as a kid, I would crawl under her door gate and show up at her house unannounced and ask for her noodle soup because I loved it so much. And I have another friend who recently got cancer, and I visited him at the hospital. I think all of this just goes to show that life is very short.

Too short to not do things that you love. Also, health is number one, and just be kind to everyone.

Wow, I felt like that was a little bit heavy. I promise it's really not that heavy. So next question, how did I feel when your work identity disappeared with the layoff? What was surprising was that I still really love tech and product, like I read about it constantly in my free time. The transition from working at a tech job for almost a decade to this year wasn't super hard. I already had been doing videos part-time for three years, and then I also invested in a lot in other areas of my life, like singing, friends, family. So I had a lot of various identity pillars to lean on, but the struggle really came in content because I've always been a career creator. So losing that was like, who am I now? I still don't really know how to talk about myself to people. Some people still call me that tech girl. Some people say I'm a lifestyle creator. I would love your two cents.

The latest language I've been using is that I'm a lifestyle creator with an emphasis on career, work, and progress.

Where does the bulk of your money come from? How do you not have financial anxiety? Are your parents bankrolling you? What about your fiancé? Literally got inspired to get a 95 because of you and now I hate it here. Girl! First off, I wish my parents were that well off. I would love to be a Nepo baby.

Unfortunately, my family does not have that kind of money. I grew up in a low-income financial aid immigrant family. I still support my brothers financially. My husband, Kevin, is not covering for me. He has said he can, so I'm very very privileged in that respect. But yeah, I don't think people realize that like I have been working in tech for almost a decade non-stop, so there's cushion there. The mortgage is expensive but not as expensive as you may think. It is sometimes less than people's rent, especially for my friends who live in New York. I definitely pay less than them.

Financial anxiety was there after the layoff. I panicked and I took on a lot of sponsors, which burnt me out. It was a really big learning experience for me. For the record, I am completely financially supporting myself. You know, like Kevin doesn't pay for all my meals. Like I pay still for a good amount of things. We don't spend egregious amounts of money and everything you see has been accumulation over the decade. But I will say I'm incredibly thankful to have content to financially support me too. Like there are sponsors, there is ad rev, I do speaking engagements.

And it's okay if I'm taking an L this year because my time off is way more valuable than any other year I've had in my life. I'm investing in the long run. Also, with respect to health insurance, I am married to Kevin, so I'm on his health insurance. We love that. I think I've answered your questions, but

I am sensing that I'm not addressing the root of your question, which is how do you manage money when you don't have income? I want to have a very thought-out answer that's helpful to you, so maybe

I will put that together in another video in the future. Okay, next question. Are you making more or just as much as you were working full-time versus now as a creator? Super juicy. I know a lot of people are dying to know what the creator salaries look like versus tech salaries. For me, I don't think I'm ready to talk about it, nor do I know how to talk about it publicly, but I can share broadly.

So you already know the tech salaries. I've shared that before. Creator salaries range so much. I've seen really big creators make anywhere from 500k to a million or more. Like if you're like big, big, big. But I've also seen people with millions of followers who make less than 100k. And according to Kajabi, only 4% of creatives make over $100,000, so maybe that'll help put things in perspective. All that is to say, the creative space is really, really hard.

What's the biggest change you've noticed in yourself? What's the best thing you said yes to?

What are the highs and lows of not having a conventional job in the last nine months? A lot of people struggle with not having a routine. Like a lot of people go back to work because they like that structure. I thrive with living with a blank canvas. You know, I'm someone who's very good at creating structure. Like I'm a framework person. If you have a problem, I have a framework. I'm that girl. I've also learned that I'm very self-motivated, maybe because I have put in so much time into corporate that now that I have this rare time of my life, I'm so scared to lose it.

I want to make everyday counts. The thing I always want to say yes to is myself. And then if I ever catch myself saying like, why am I doing this? I just got to take that out. This is not the year to be putting up with shit. This is the year to go full throttle on what my inner voice is telling me to do. With the lows, there were a good amount of lows. Like I don't talk about many of them publicly. I kind of brush on some of them on the jumbo pod. For example, hiring a team was brutal.

A lot of people I worked with, I put a lot of my trust in them and they just like let me down.

The surprising thing is that in the creative industry and freelance space, the skill range is humongous. What I loved about corporate is A, you really have to learn the game of like interviewing. No matter how crappy people are, even at work, there is a baseline. The second is people have managers to coach them through how to communicate and collaborate with other people.

In the creative space, most people don't have any experience working on teams or in an office.

So they're just raw dogging work. Also, there's a lot of people who are full of shit and you have to vet them, backchannel. So that's been a huge pain point. Like I still do all of my writing, videos, editing, production. I do everything myself except for the podcast. I have an editor.

Another low is living with the stigma of getting laid off. That's just been my current state for so long. Some people also think I got fired, which was not the case. There are two totally different things. I also have some online hate. My parents constantly ask me about whether I'm looking for a job. There is inherent societal shame, but I constantly just have to remind myself, don't lose sight. My goal is even farther than the next job. I'm doing all that I can to make this gap year worth it. And speaking of my gap year, I do have a question. How is design school coming along? And the answer is amazing. Well, I'm not going to like one specific design school.

I did take topography at art center in Pasadena. The professor was a Disney Imagineer for like 20 years. I learned a lot. Also, if you haven't noticed, my type game has been fire. I'm a design student. My edits are so different from before. I hope you've been witnessing my evolution. I am peering into the possibility of taking classes in digital art and animation. I also took a few UX design courses on Coursera, who is by the way, the sponsor of today's video. Let me tell you about

Coursera guys. Coursera is an online learning platform that has all kinds of courses, degrees, certifications from all kinds of notable companies and universities like these and these. I have been posting about my journey taking Coursera courses on my Instagram and LinkedIn. So y'all know I've been studying up on design and AI and specifically on Coursera. I've been taking their UX design courses. There's one by Google and one by CalArts. On top of that, I'm also taking their AI product management course that is taught by IBM. I have gotten a lot of questions on my opinions on AI and

I made a post of my deeper thoughts over here. But essentially, I am optimistic and I do think that AI is creating a lot of new job opportunities with new skill sets that we should keep up with as well. The IBM course in particular, I think, is pretty extensive. It gives a pretty good intro to

AI, machine learning, deep learning, neural networks, and LLMs. It also has tactical modules on generative

AI, prompt engineering basics, how to build AI-powered products, and how to use gen AI in your PM career.

So if you are in your level up era, do check out the courses on Coursera. I have linked all the ones I mentioned down below in the description for you to check out. Thank you so much Coursera for partnering with me on so many pieces of content this year. It's been a privilege to be a Coursera partner. I hope all of you have a wonderful learning journey and now back to the video.

After nine sweet months, is returning to corporate still worth it? Yo dude, I don't know what to tell you. I have flip-flopped on this question all year like my friends are sick of my shit. You have no idea how many times I've opened up LinkedIn jobs and just doomscrolled job opportunities. I'm just like, oh my god, this would look so good. I sent it to Kevin. He's like, please not another one. A few thoughts I am holding myself to. One, this is the most valuable time of my life. I have never been in a place where all those things that I said, oh it'd be nice if I could do this, I am doing them. I am getting through my creative bucket list and if I go back to the office, all of that out the door.

Two, I love my tech job. Having stable income is so good. Having co-workers is nice. A routine, an office, my little work bag, doing meetings, but the office politics, I hate. The promotion game, I hate. I'm very happy to go back to work. I'd love to, only if it's a very compelling opportunity. I don't want to willy-nilly just get a job. I want to take my time. I really need to invest in leveling myself up. When the opportunity comes, girl, you know I'm gonna pounce at it. Is there a company that can convince me? Yes, there are many. Right now, I'm very much into that intersection between creativity and

AI, but ain't no way I'm leaving LA, so that limits my options a lot as RTO is happening. Where do you see yourself in five years? Cheesy question. No, I love these types of questions. Thank you for asking.

I see kids, yeah. I still see content. An interesting discovery this year was that I love content. I love making videos. I just love building this community. I see a vague outline of a 9-5, but it's kind of a mirage, so I don't know if it's actually there. I would love to do both tech and content, but I cannot go back to what I was doing before. I don't know how I manage full-time product management and doing content on the side. I no longer have it in me to do those 4am nights and still wake up for morning meetings and stand up. The body doesn't work the same in your 30s anymore.

But in five years, I'm gonna be 35, 36. I think it's gonna be my prime. That will be the peak of my career and I'm so excited for it. I'm seriously building my foundational skills to prep for that wave. I mean, if that wave comes early, I'm open to it. That is a time I see myself being a real trailblazer, like doing new things in tech, in this industry, in content. I don't know how to explain it, but that is the dream. The vision board. How do you manage to tease so much in your life?

My real honest answer is I actually am very bad at time management. I don't manage it, but I am very good at getting things done. It's very strange. I have this one-track mind. I'm super momentum-based.

I'm very like, deep work, don't bother me, in my zone. I love to endlessly write, create, read, watch.

I love a good flow state. I don't like looking at the clock, which is probably why I sleep so late.

What is your daily routine to make the best use of this time? I don't think a routine is going to be insightful, but I do think a few mindsets are. So I'm going to give you a few guiding principles

I hold on to. One, talking about the thing is not doing the thing. Let that sink in. Like, if I held a gun to your head and said, what is stopping you from doing the thing? Whatever that reason is, you gotta kill it. Number two, stay out of drama. Enough said. Number three, I read this from a book recently, or like, maybe an Instagram post. Anxiety is an addiction. I felt so attacked when I read that.

Doom spiraling, saying negative things. I used to do a lot of that and it almost felt comfortable to me.

It's so easy to be a pessimist and say, oh, that's just not going to work because xyz. And when it actually happens, you get to say, oh, I knew it. But those type of people never get to take their chances to make the thing happen. I had to swallow the pill that that is an easy out and it drains me and it holds me back from giving it a real honest shot. Do you still get burnt out? Yes. But I would say it's not that bad. It's more like I get overwhelmed. And when that does happen, I just write. I put all my thoughts on a page. I recently reread the book The Artist's Way. I read this in college. Like, my girlfriends and I really enjoyed this book. I had been going through this mental block of like, oh, I'm not a creative person and I suck and I don't have good ideas. It tells you to do morning pages, which is like basically journaling for three pages every single morning. And it also tells you to take yourself on artist dates every week and that rest and play are really good for your energy. I highly recommend the book. You should read it. Link it down below. If you could go back nine months ago, what would you tell her? Do you regret anything? Regret is a strong word. There are things I could have done better and that there are things that I didn't have to do. But I think it's hard to skip all of that completely because I wouldn't have known unless I had done it. You know what I mean? I don't know. In a strange way, I find it very empowering to develop your own strong opinions about something based on your own personal experience. Like you put the work to figure that out and you have that anecdote that you can pull from. But if I could go back to Chloe nine months ago, I would tell her three things. One, it's okay to rest. In fact, it makes you a better, more productive, more creative person. So please do it for the love of God. Two, don't be afraid of losing that opportunity in front of you right now. Scarcity mindset is so real. Plenty of opportunities will come your way. Trust me. Just focus on yourself. And three, trust your gut. People ain't shit. Don't believe people. If you get a weird icky feeling about someone, it's probably true.

How should I deal with a layoff? This just happened to me. I feel so numb. Is it okay to rest and not do anything? Layoffs suck. I know firsthand. A lot of my friends have gotten laid off this year. First of all, it is not your fault. It is more of a reflection of the company than you. If a company isn't making enough money, it just makes so much sense to cut the expenses to make them look more profitable. I'm just saying, that's what it is. Privately, I have supported a lot of friends through the journey this year. Like I became the layoff girl and I've gotten so much outrage, like coffee chats, can I talk to you? This happened. How do I navigate it? Everyone struggles with it. I think only like one or two people I know really flourished in it because I guess they were so burnt out that they really wanted to leave. And it was nice to have severance after they left. For the majority of people who weren't expecting it, it sucks. And then to get back on your feet, get interviews, and get pummeled in this economy just messes up your head in a way that puts you in dark places. Trust me, you're gonna get that job offer. It might not be soon, but it will come. And when that happens, all of this will feel very very long ago. And if you're not feeling emotionally sane, you must rest.

You must be gentle with yourself. You must treat yourself with love. There is no other way. And when you're ready, get back in the game and lock in. You've done it before, you can do it again.

Do you recommend the content life for others in tech? I get this question so so so much. My answer is always the same. One, content is not an overnight success. Get that out of your head. It looks so glamorous. It is not glamorous. You are making videos for like what seems to be years with absolutely no return. You're making cringe videos and everyone's making fun of you basically. And it is a lifestyle. You're constantly writing, filming, editing. You have to love making videos. Two is, thankfully, it is a very easy thing to try out. If you have the itch at all, you can just whip out your phone and start recording. It's one of those things where I don't think you'll know if you want to do it until you actually do it and it's very easy to try it today. My experience has been full of trials and tribulations, ups and downs. I've changed my mind on it all the time, but I can confidently say I sincerely love it. I love storytelling, making videos. I love building this community. I love meeting unique loves and jomies out in the wild. I love this. Last question, how did you know what you want to do this year? Could you share more about your life PRD? Some of you may know I wrote this whole life PRD because I'm a product manager and this is just what PMs do.

It is this why, what, how of how I'm going to approach my gap year. I said I would make a template on it. I still am trying to figure that out. I don't know exactly how to do it because it is so tailored to me. I had to figure out how to make this like generalizable to everyone. I go through the doc in detail in this video and this video. I link those down below. If and when I make that template, you will know. I will post about it. Surely it's gonna happen. Just give me some time.

And I think that wraps up this Q&A at the nine month mark. Thank you to all those who submitted your questions. Really appreciate it. I hope this gave some interesting perspective on various life paths, on how life is on this side. Probably a lot of you have gone through or are going through layoffs right now and it sucks. It truly does. I've seen the best of people lose all of their self-confidence but come back and get on their A-game once more. And I don't know who needs to hear this and I think this is low-key hypocritical to say or like I don't know like confusing to say. Don't trust social media. I have constantly been surprised at how successful people look online and then I meet them in real life and they are in complete shambles. Everyone is fighting demons. Everyone is working on themselves. Pay attention to your heart and your body. You are more than enough. You showing up today is incredible and trust yourself. You got yourself this far. You will keep going.

You're a brilliant person. You're gonna get there. It'll come a lot sooner than you think. And remember sometimes the hardest person to appreciate is yourself. Don't forget to be gentle with yourself.

 You deserve it. And with that, I will see you next time Uniqlos. Bye!