Inthewordsof a famous 1960s popsong, breakingupishardtodo. Divorce, when a marriedcouplewhonolongerwanttobetogetherseparate, canbeoneoflife's toughestexperiences.
Duringthe 1990s, divorceratesinEuropeandAmericawerethehighestintheworld, withalmosthalfofallmarriagesendingindivorce. Butsincethen, thetrendhasreversedanddivorceratesintheWesthaveslowed. Meanwhile, however, thenumberofcouplesdivorcinginotherpartsoftheworldisontherise.
Butfirst, I have a questionforyou, Georgie. InBritain, onedayoftheyearinparticularisknownbydivorcelawyersandrelationshipcounsellorsasDivorceDay. Butwhichdayisit?
a. ChristmasDay b. ThefirstMondayofthenewyearor c. Midsummer's Day, the 24thofJune
Gettingmarriedveryyounganddifferencesbetweenpartners' backgroundsorinterestsaretwocommoncausesforcouplestogrowapart. Today, MarinaAdshadeis a professorattheUniversityofBritishColumbiawhostudiestheeconomicsofsexandrelationships.
Butherlifehas a verydifferentbeginning, asshetoldBBCWorldServiceprogramme,
TheGlobalStory.
I marriedreallyyoung. I hadnoeducation. I marriedsomebodywhowasolderthanme, whohad a lotofeducation, andourrelationshipworkedwellfor a while.
Andtheninmylate 20s, I decidedtogobacktoschool. I nolongerwantedtobe a stay-at-homewhichwaswhat I wasdoinginmy 20s. Andthatchangeinoursituationforusjustbecamecompletelyunresolvable. And I thinkthisistruefor a lotofmarriagesbecausepeople's situationchangesovertheirlives. Maybetheywantchildrenandmaybetheychangetheirminds.
Marinastartedhermarriedlifeas a stay-at-homemum, a womanwhostayshometotakecareofthechildrenandmanagethehousehold.
TherewasaninterestingthingtheydidinChinawheretheyintroducedthiscoolingoffperiod. Sothegovernmentenforcedthis. Doesthatworkwhenthegovernmentintervenesin a situationlikethisandmakespeoplebehaveordothingsin a certainway?
Ifnothingchangesinthedynamicbetweentwopeople, beingtoldthatthey'vegottocooloffandwait a bitlonger, I don't thinkit's goingtomakethemsuddenlyrealisethattheywanttobetogether. Itmightbeanideaforstatestoinvestincommunicationprogrammesforthesecouplesbecausethat's invariablywhyrelationshipsfallapart.
Inresponsetorisingdivorcerates, in 2021, theChinesegovernmentintroduced a 30-daycoolingoffperiodforcoupleswantingtoseparate. A coolingoffperiodis a periodoftimeinwhichtwogroupswhoarearguingcantrytoimprovethesituationbeforetakingfurtheraction. However, it's unusualforgovernmentstointervene, tobecomeinvolved, inpeople's privatelivesthisway.
Joannadoubts a coolingoffperiodwillwork, especiallyasthemainreasonforrelationshipsfailingisnon-communication. Shesays a lackofcommunicationisinvariably, well, alwaysthereasonfordivorce. Ontheplusside, bycommunicatingopenly, maybewiththeprofessionalhelpof a relationshipcounsellor, saving a marriageispossible.
I thinkit's timeyourevealtheanswertoyourquestion, Phil.
YouaskedaboutDivorceDayinBritainand I guesseditwasthefirstMondayofthenewyear.
Goodguess, Georgie, becausethat's thecorrectanswer. DivorceDayisthefirstMondayoftheyear. OK, let's recapthevocabularywe'velearntinthisprogramme, startingwithstay-at-homemum, a phrasefor a womanwhostayshometocareforherchildrenandmanagethehousehold.
If a problemisunresolvable, itcannotbesatisfactorilysolvedorfixed.
A cooling-offperiodis a periodoftimefortwopeopletotrytoresolvetheirdifferences.
Itcanalsomeananagreedlengthoftimeinwhichsomeonecanchangetheirmindaboutsomethingthey'veagreedtobuy. Tointervenemeanstobecomeinvolvedin a difficultsituationinordertoimproveit.