You're going to be the internet's boyfriend.

But you were my fake boyfriend first, don't forget it.

Yeah, but...

Hi, British Vogue, I'm Nicola Cartland.

And I'm Luke Newton, and this is the Ultimate British Taste Test.

Afternoon Tea Edition.

I'm very excited.

Hungry.

This is the night you're always hungry.

It's a good way to start the day.

Do you like afternoon tea?

I do, a lot of scone.

I like timely sandwiches.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Cheers, my dear.

Cheers.

Sláinte.

Oh, that actually is.

I thought it was going to be a Bridgerton version.

No, it's real.

What do we have?

We have like...

Watered down ginger beer, it's not nice.

But then on set, I started a tradition called Champagne Friday.

On Fridays, we would have like a little glass of champagne in the trailer.

Yeah.

It was chic.

And I made us hoodies.

Yeah.

Made our own merch.

Yeah.

Good.

Perfect.

Okay.

Let's go.

Bring on the first dish.

Oh no, I'm scared.

Is it here?

I always have a problem with napkins because my legs are really short.

So they often just slide off.

We have sandwiches.

How many?

One.

Yeah, my napkin's falling off already.

You got it ready?

Maybe that's...

I can't really tell, I'm smelling it.

I don't know.

Lemon.

Salmon.

Okay.

Oh, that is different.

I think it's cucumber.

Oh yeah, maybe it is.

Although we might have chosen a different one.

No.

It's cucumber and cream cheese.

That is an elite combo.

That is.

It's very simple, but it's really good.

And last one.

I'm going to guess this is...

Oh, that's really lemony.

That's egg, but it's good egg.

I think number one was smoked salmon with dill.

So do I.

With a little...

What was the second one then?

Cucumber and cream cheese.

Third one was lemony egg.

Yes!

Have you had to do many eating scenes?

I haven't had that many in Bircherton.

I was going to say, we've never...

We didn't have dinner.

You have a little...

Oh God, where?

You get it?

Thank you.

They're going to love this.

Why did Karl never take Pen out for dinner?

That's rude.

I know.

There may be some...

Creamy cakes eaten.

That's not a euphemism, I promise.

Is it?

Is it though?

I had to eat cake in front of you and sort of lick the cream off my hand.

That's very awkward to do on camera, I have to say.

I think people love the show because it's like such an escape from the real world.

I think this story in particular, people will relate to.

There's also like the two kind of awkward ones.

And I think a lot of people will see themselves in Karl and Pen.

Go for it.

There we go.

Okay.

Oh, I can hear it.

Oh no, it's a scope.

Is it though?

Oh no, I don't think it is.

Well, mine's not.

Oh no, it's...

It's like a...

It's savoury.

I don't know, mine's going to be different to yours.

Mmm.

Mine's a sausage roll.

Is it?

I think mine's like a cheese and onion...

Ooh, yeah.

Pastry.

Yeah.

Did you know that my nickname on set amongst the drivers was Sausage Roll God?

In series two, I got a real hankering for like vegan sausage rolls one day.

And I decided to order them.

And I ordered like 40 or 60 or something insane.

And I didn't deliver it.

So I rang them.

I was like, hey, where are they?

And they're like, oh, we thought that was a joke.

I was like, but I paid for them.

Wait, what did you want 40 for?

To share.

Oh, right, of course.

Sharesies.

When I was a kid, we had like little bells in our house, but I used to love ringing them.

I think I just wanted to be a child from the past.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I actually don't know how you take your tea, even though I've known you for like five years.

Yeah, I think because...

I see you drink coffee.

I'm going to try and guess what you drink.

Okay.

Guessing builders.

Strong with like not, like a middle amount of milk.

No sugar.

No sugar.

Nailed it.

One thing that's very different in Ireland is you would never pour someone's milk for them.

Really?

Yeah.

You just wouldn't do it.

If we're going to choose.

Yeah.

Cheers.

Cheers.

Okay, now I think it will be dessert.

Okay.

Is this a scone?

Pre...

Pre-done.

Is it pre-cream or is it pre-jam?

How do you like to do it?

Do you jam first or then cream?

Cream first for me.

But I'm putting that in your hand.

Oh, shit.

Okay, I think texture-wise, that's cream.

Oh, there's a spoon, there's a spoon.

Is this jam?

I don't know, I don't know.

Oh my God, this is weighty.

Scone is...

I'm going in.

That's so good.

I'm going to try it.

Is it good?

It's so good, yeah.

I've got a good balance on that, considering.

This is delicious.

Yeah.

I would always have cream first.

I would do...

I would do jam first because it's stickier.

So it's like a bit of an adhesive.

And then I feel like the cream is like on top.

Not as much cream as this, that's way too much.

I think we're on the same page with this.

Scone.

Scone sounds like an incomplete word to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm like, scone is nice and rounded.

It's weird that people say it differently because it's not really a geographical thing.

Like people from everywhere say one or the other.

And it's kind of a choice.

It's like either, either.

I don't think I know anyone that says scone.

I do.

Most of my friends say scone and I get bullied.

I mean, you can say it how you want, but we're saying scone, so maybe listen to us.

Yeah.

Oh.

Is that the bottom?

Cake.

Yeah.

I'm just holding hands.

Are you OK?

I'm smelling.

It was a very sexual noise.

I was really making a lot of noise.

A sponge cake.

I don't really like cake.

Cake is what it is, you know.

I don't want to know what that is.

Whatever that was, it was bad.

When you can't see it, it feels like I bit an insect there.

Yeah.

Well, hopefully I didn't.

OK, slightly higher than you think.

Yeah, I think this is a petit four, it feels like.

I never know, what is the lump on it?

What are they called, French fancy?

I need a drink.

Oh, yeah, that is sweet, isn't it?

It feels like a candle.

Oh, my God, it's really high.

Yeah.

What's that?

I don't want that.

It's chocolate.

Mine is, um.

Like a fruit jelly.

Is that safe?

Oh, you got a little, you got, oh.

I picked horribly wrong.

Oh, my God, it was a strawberry.

Oh.

What happens on this season?

A lot.

And I keep saying it, but it's so romantic.

It really got me.

And we watched a pretty big scene the other day.

And it was just how it felt when we shot it, just how we imagined it.

And it's really beautiful.

What is it the lovely Jack Murphy says?

Poland.

He's our dance instructor that we've had since season one.

He said to us in season two, the fans are waiting for Poland.

It's also a great, like, ship name.

They've been so patient.

We can't wait for you to see it.

I hope we've done them proud.

Yeah.

Ready for the next course.

This is a lot of champagne for 9am.

I have no concept of what this could be.

No, nor do I.

Oh, macarons.

Oh.

It's weird, because macarons are made from almond, but they're not disgusting in the way that marzipan is.

Oh, it's raspberry.

I love the pistachio.

Dream date to afternoon tea?

You can say me if that's what you think.

If you say someone else, that's me.

No, it's obviously you.

Great.

I think we did really well on the taste test.

Yeah, I think we nailed it.

I think, like, this subject was good for us.

Anything marzipan-y can get out of my life.

Thanks for watching.

That was the ultimate British taste test.

Afternoon tea edition.