Not bad.

Damn, I made 39.

So close.

Well, it looks like I'm the tip queen tonight.

How about you, new girl?

Oh, let me see.

Yeah, how much tips did you make?

Uh, 31, 32, uh, $36,000.

Jesus.

What?

Is that a tip?

Is that low?

I wouldn't say low.

Yeah, that's pretty good, Tina.

Well, another bad day for Dennis.

All I got in tips was 12 cents and this note that said, "You ruined my day." Well, that's the job, you know?

It's up and it's down sometimes.

Yeah, table six stiffed me.

Yeah, that's gonna happen.

I'm so sorry.

Um, I had to run to the bank.

Here's your tip, new girl.

Damn, she fired.

Okay, that is insane.

I served that guy last week.

When I brought the check, he padded his pockets and said, "Sorry, I just got laid off." Yeah, well, when I served him, he said, "Are there any ladies who work here?" Okay, guys, razz the new girl.

But honestly, I think it's just about great service.

Watch.

I'm gonna go deal with the table later.

Hi, boys.

Who wants a refill?

Us, us, we do!

Coming right up.

Oh my gosh, I am such a klutz.

I am so sorry.

It's okay.

Anything you do is okay.

Oh, uh, it looks like there's a little beer left in the pitcher.

Who wants some?

You?

Ah, what the heck, sure.

Okay.

Oh.

Ha, ha, ha.

Oh, awesome!

But that's what it is.

I've been sober for 22 years, and that's over now.

Ha, ha, ha.

Hey, uh, can we buy you a car or something?

Ha, ha, ha.

You guys are hilarious.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

See?

Was that so hard?

Okay, you spilled all over them and made one guy relapse.

They just like you.

Watch.

Hey, guys.

I just wanted to offer you a free round.

I'm-a stop you right there.

I don't want to see you.

I don't want to know you.

I want other girls.

And I'll take that.

Great.

So, yeah, it was a little different for me.

Yeah, exactly.

Watch this.

Hello, my guy.

No!

See?

No offense, Tina, but you're making us feel bad, and you're taking all our tips.

Yeah, maybe Hooters isn't the right place for you.

Oh.

You know, I always thought that this place was the one place I'd feel at home.

I've tried to work at other jobs, and I can't.

I worked at an airport.

No planes took off.

I was a crossing guard.

Thousands died.

But if you don't think I belong at Hooters, I'll go.

Wait!

Oh my God!

Hooters' mascot, Hootermeowl?

That's me.

And I came to say you can't leave.

You are my Harry Potter, and this is your Hogwarts.

So please stay.

If you really want me to, okay.

Thank you!

And what about us?

I don't care.

Now, I must go.

I have a funeral to attend.

My friend Flocko flew into a building.

I'm very sad.

So if someone could show me their breasts...

I'll do it!

I'll just leave!

Goodbye, Hootermeowl!

You.