They do!

Bro, there's only two types of Asian girls.

The nerds that live in the library, or the crazy party chicks who bleach their hair.

That's it.

The truth is, there are many different types of Asian girls.

Yeah, about 18.

Using the patented scientific method of making things up, we present to you today 18 types of Asian girls.

But to fully complete each comprehensive profile of Asian girl, we've brought in Asian girl expert Porter Lynn.

Don't worry, guys.

I've known an Asian girl for over 20 years, and I have the reports and analysis right here.

Good work, Porter.

Let's go.

Number one, the ABG, Asian baby girl.

Common roles you'll find ABG girls in are import model, sexy coffee shop, trendy Asian fusion restaurant, go-go dancers, and working at vape shops.

For those of you guys who don't know, the Asian baby girl is basically your female Asian gangster.

I like guys with big, fast cars and tattoos, and maybe have been arrested.

They're short, sexy, and you'll know when you see them.

Next month, I'm going to be on the cover of Import Tuner

Magazine.

The ABG often has on circle lenses, fake lashes, dark eyeliner, perfectly drawn eyebrows, highlights or dyed hair, a push-up bra, anything that exposes her pierced belly button, or dragon tattoo.

The ABG looks tough on the outside, but secretly on the inside, she's a little insecure.

Ew, you freaking cheated on me?

You cheated on me?

Oh my god, I'm going to kill you.

Where are you going?

I'm talking to you.

Hey!

Hey!

Ah!

Come back!

The turned down version of ABG is just AZN.

Number two, the normal good Asian girl.

If you're looking for cute and sweet, she's your gal.

A common exchange between the normal Asian girl and her boyfriend might be like, uh, hey, what do you want to go eat?

Hmm, I don't know, wherever you want to eat.

The good Asian girl is totally cool with spending a Friday night with her parents at an Asian restaurant.

They like Korean dramas, Hello Kitty, Yogurtland, Disneyland, anything that ends in land.

It's all one big, cute ecosystem that the normal, average, good Asian girl likes.

And she definitely enjoys herself a good Wong Fu video.

The normal, good Asian girl generally wears looser-fitting clothing, nothing too crazy or sexy.

Number three, the yappy Asian girl, young Asian professional.

The yappy Asian girl is the turnt up version of the good Asian girl.

Yappy girls like having a jam-packed schedule, eating at cool, inexpensive restaurants, hiking in half marathons, bragging about how much she travels, driving a pretty decent car, and home decorations.

Basically, if you want to know more, watch this video called Things Yappies Like.

We made it right here.

She definitely wears Tory Burch Riva flats and similar items.

Number four, the fob Asian girl.

Aw, yeah, fresh off the boat.

But nowadays, they're more like boba, brought over by airplane.

So there's a lot of different types of fob Asian girls, but we're going to be focusing on the rich and the normal.

The rich fob Asian girl may have gone to international school back in Asia, where her family has millions of dollars.

Or she just came off the plane yesterday and is already driving a Ferrari very badly.

The normal fob girl is probably a student who spends a lot of time at the boba shop or library on camp.

And currently, she's trying to decide whether she can stay in America or go back.

The rich fob girl's outfit probably costs more than your car.

The normal fob chick likes American brands that aren't really special to us, but very special to them.

Abercrombie and Fitch, Victoria's Secret.

Number five, the geeky Asian girl.

The geeky Asian girl's like being a gamer, being an otaku, being a K-pop fangirl, being a huge YouTube fangirl, being into sci-fi, and being into British TV shows.

I just got early bird tickets to KCON, Anime Expo, and Comic-Con.

Did you get yours yet?

But don't get the geeky Asian girl mixed up with the normal Asian girl.

The geeky Asian girl's much more into subculture and entertainment.

She probably read the entire book series of Game of Thrones before watching the show.

But shout out to geeky Asian girls, because without you guys, there would be no Asian YouTube stars.

Then what would I do?

You guys mean so much.

The geeky Asian girl does not use a picture of her face as her avatar.

And if she is an Asiatic thing, she probably kind of wishes she was Korean or Japanese.

Oh, G-Dragon.

I love K-pop.

Fighting.

As far as clothing, they're probably wearing a t-shirt of their favorite band, TV show, or favorite YouTube star.

Wong Fu for life.

Number six, the brainiac super nerd Asian girl.

She's probably the daughter of a professor, researcher, engineer, or something smart.

Do the words quantum mechanics, string theory, or multivariable calculus ring a bell?

If they do, you're probably a brainiac Asian girl.

She doesn't use social media very much unless she's posting about some sort of scientific breakthrough or the project she's working on.

The brainiac Asian girl wears wire rimmed glasses and generally doesn't care a lot about fashion.

Number seven, the fitness sporty Asian girl.

You have your fitness Asian girl.

But she's really more into health for the benefits of looking good on Instagram.

And your sporty Asian girl.

She played multiple sports growing up, was a tomboy.

And as an adult, she still plays intramural recreational sports.

Some of the things that the fitness sporty girl likes are CrossFit, Zumba, doing squats, blogilates, buying new workout clothes, and posting inspirational quotes on her Instagram.

Fitness sporty Asian girl wears Nike women's, Lululemon, or other similar brands.

Great workout today.

No pain, no gain.

Number eight, the party Asian girl.

Oh yeah.

Although there are some similarities, don't get her mixed up with the ABG.

The party girl is more defined by the extravagant nights out.

Bar, club, concert, festival, Vegas, she's there.

Woo!

Hey, hey, let's take a selfie.

Unlike the ABG, you'll never find the party girl at the pool hall.

You can find this girl at hotel rooms or day clubs in Vegas taking pictures with her friends who she refers to as betches or bays.

Me and my girls all look like sexy betches tonight.

Why are all these guys hitting on us?

It's annoying.

Their best pictures are when they're posing with their hand on their hip, knee bent, head slightly tilted to one side, and typically in a dark room.

The party Asian girl spends a lot of time thinking about which party she's gonna go to this weekend.

Dude, who are those guys that she's hanging out with, man?

How are we supposed to compete?

Come on, let's take a selfie.

Oh, it's not good.

Let's do it again.

As far as clothing, they have a bunch of clothes from Forever 21, bikinis for day clubs, bandage dresses, and crop tops.

Number nine, the whitewashed Asian girl.

Oh, this is my favorite type.

Okay, so there's three ways that Asian girls can be whitewashed.

The first way is that they grew up in an all-white environment, so it feels very natural for them.

The second way is that she grew up around Asians, but she doesn't think it's as cool, so she kind of rejected it.

And the third way is that an Asian girl can be adopted into a white family, in which case that makes perfect sense.

Now, those three methods turn into two types.

The two types of whitewashed Asian girls are the blonde sorority wannabe, and the second kind is the rocker alternative Asian girl.

And often you'll hear whitewashed Asian girls say things like, no, I don't really think about race, we're all just people.

And...

Ew, that's so Asian.

Or...

Oh my God, Hoppa babies are the cutest.

Or this.

I think I have more in common with them.

I don't know, I just really like white guys.

And maybe this too.

Um, yeah, now that I think about it,

I've never dated an Asian guy before.

And the second kind is the rocker alternative girl.

She's edgy, cynical, doesn't really relate to most Asians.

Kind of like that cartoon Daria.

And the whitewashed sorority Asian chick really loves San Diego and Santa Barbara, or really just any rich white party area by the beach.

The sorority whitewashed Asian girl pretty much wears what a white sorority girl would wear.

And she's really into themed parties, like neon pub crawls.

The alternative Asian rocker chick pretty much wears what an alternative white girl rocker chick would wear, but a little toned down, because she still has Asian parents.

Number 10, the hipster Asian girl.

Hipster's a pretty big category nowadays, but you know what I mean.

This girl is an artist, vlogger, photographer, hippie, doing social media for a company, or she just went freelance in something and she's trying to figure it out, and her parents are worried.

Irony, irony, irony.

I love irony.

They're always friends with a lot of white people, and they can be friends with a lot of Asians too, but they gotta be hipsters as well.

And they definitely like tall, skinny guys with beards who like art.

Hipster Asian girls love oversized sweaters, beanies, tattoos, piercings, artsy accessories, and beanies.

Did I mention beanies?

Ooh, that one's going on the blog.

Number 11, the fashionista Asian girl.

The fashionista Asian girl's similar to the hipster Asian girl, but way more focused on the fashion industry.

Hipsters love vintage thrift stores and fashionistas prefer boutiques.

If you're a fashionista Asian girl, you definitely are familiar with these people.

The Asian fashionista thinks that her own style is super, super unique, but it actually looks like something very similar to what you see on style blogs.

Number 12, the feminist activist Asian girl.

Angry Asian girl.

Now, a lot of people have chips on their shoulder, including me, but the feminist activist girl has the entire chip aisle on her shoulder.

The Asian feminist loves to utilize social media to champion her social causes, especially with hashtags.

She either works for a nonprofit or is heavily involved in one.

The feminist activist Asian girl doesn't really have a set style, but she usually has T-shirts that support her cause and faded earth tone clothing.

Number 13, the church loving Asian girl.

This girl is so nice, she actually has the ability to bring guys to church by simply dating them.

Flirt to convert.

She's either the youth group leader, she probably wanted to be or has been part of the worship band.

She probably has two groups of friends, church friends, non-church friends.

Your church loving Asian girl dresses conservatively and definitely nothing sexy.

Number 14, the rich Asian girl.

She could be the heiress to her parents' business, but she's reluctant because it's not fun.

The rich Asian girl is classy and knows how to act in almost any given social situation, but she can be a little snobby and if she feels like you're not on her level, then she might treat you differently.

For clothing, rich Asian girls wear something expensive.

Number 15, the urban rap culture Asian girl.

The urban rap influenced Asian girl comes in three varieties.

One, the kind that's truly from the hood.

Two, the kind that grew up a few miles away from the hood.

The third kind loves urban rap culture but grew up in a nice neighborhood really far away from the hood.

You can count on this girl to like Trey Songz,

Chris Brown, Tyga, Pharrell, and her favorite new artist is definitely August Alsina.

She prides herself on being one of the only Asian girls who's got swag or street cred.

The urban Asian girl follows Karrueche,

Jhene Aiko, and other half black, half Asian celebrities.

When your urban rap Asian girl dresses up, she strives for a Kim Kardashian or Basketball Wives.

When she dresses down, it's whatever's hot in the rap videos.

But either way, she's trying to show off her unusually large Asian booty.

Number 16, the dancer Asian girl.

Now the dancer Asian girl really likes hip hop, but do not confuse her with the urban rap girl.

She's more into the traditional four elements of hip hop.

Unlike the urban rap girl, most of her friends are pretty much just other Asian dancers.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

The dancer Asian girl is usually focused on living a fun, spontaneous lifestyle.

And she's definitely familiar with all the famous Asian dancers on YouTube.

For clothing, your dancer Asian girl wears street wear, obe, flannels tied around the waist, combat boots, pretty much looking like Chris Brown's backup dancers 24-7.

Yo, did you check out that new Brian Puss Boats video?

That was sick.

Number 17, the forever single Asian girl.

This girl's standards are so incredibly high that nobody's good enough to date her, hence making her forever alone.

She met a doctor, but he wasn't a surgeon.

She met a surgeon, but he was just too boring.

This type of Asian girl is looking for a Cristiano Ronaldo.

And in her eyes, Jeremy Lin barely makes the cut.