We're actually alright if you put other stuff on us I wouldn't consider my parents health nuts more like health kernels They would never buy unhealthy snacks But they wouldn't force me and my siblings to go outside and play because it was always burning hot and we just licked the melted Candy off the sidewalk anyways, they would never buy sugary cereal the most sugary cereal My parents got was honey nut Cheerios But my mom would mix the honey nut Cheerios with regular ones to make it more healthy or something So I would start every day spending 15 minutes picking out the regular Cheerios from the cereal bowl That's right.

如果你在我們身上加點別的東西，我們其實還不錯 我不會認為我父母是健康堅果，更像是健康果核 他們從來不會買不健康的零食，但也不會強迫我和我的兄弟姐妹們到外面去玩，因為外面總是很熱，我們只會舔人行道上融化的糖果、他們從不買含糖麥片 我父母買的含糖量最高的麥片是蜂蜜果仁麥片 但我媽媽會把蜂蜜果仁麥片和普通麥片混著吃 這樣更健康什麼的 所以我每天都要花15分鐘 從麥片碗裡挑出普通麥片 沒錯

My parents didn't buy us cable cocoa puffs or candy my life sucked We were allowed to eat sugary cereal for one day out of the year and that was on Christmas morning It's a fun tradition and we still do it to this day as a kid I would always get jealous when my friends would pull out their lunchables and tell me how much their family ate out and all the Sugary cereals they got to eat Meanwhile, I had a PB&J sandwich on wheat bread with the crust still on but it's okay because I like the crust but now Looking back.

我的父母沒有給我們買可可泡芙或糖果，我的生活糟透了。我們一年中只有一天可以吃含糖麥片，那就是聖誕節的早上。這是一個有趣的傳統，我們至今仍在這樣做。小時候，當我的朋友們拿出他們的便當，告訴我他們一家在外面吃了多少東西，以及他們能吃到多少含糖麥片時，我總是很嫉妒、我吃的是用小麥麵包做的 PB&J 三明治，麵包皮還沒去掉，不過沒關係，因為我喜歡麵包皮，但現在回想起來，我還是覺得很好吃。

I'm just so grateful that my mom cared enough about my health to instill these healthy eating habits into me at a young Age, I mean, I don't follow them anymore because I live on my own and I don't know how to cook and bagel bites Tastes so darn good, but I'm still thankful.

我很感激媽媽從小就關心我的健康，給我灌輸這些健康的飲食習慣，我現在已經不這麼做了，因為我一個人住，我不會做飯，而且貝果咬起來也很好吃，但我還是很感激媽媽。

My mom taught me what I should be doing Now if there's any parents watching this going, hmm, I like the way this James's mom character thinks good I would recommend to all parents that you should be teaching your kids healthy eating habits as soon as possible I definitely didn't appreciate it at the time.

我媽媽教我應該怎麼做，現在如果有家長在看這個節目，就會想，嗯，我喜歡詹姆斯媽媽這個角色的思維方式，我建議所有的家長都應該儘快教孩子養成健康的飲食習慣。

But now that I'm older and wiser I'm thankful that I like the taste of wheat bread My parents had a saying the wider the bread the sooner you're dead They would always get wheat bread even for hot dog and hamburger buns They got wheat some of you might have had to use sandwich bread as hot dog buns.

我的父母有句諺語：麵包越寬，死得越早。他們總是買小麥麵包，即使是熱狗和漢堡包，他們也買小麥麵包。

You're poor I get it.

你很窮，我明白。

But at least you didn't have to use wheat bread.

但至少你不必使用小麥麵包。

However, now that I live on my own I still get the wheat bread because I don't want to die young I still have YouTube videos to make some things never change I guess except I do get the white hot dog buns The wheat ones are still gross when I was a very little kid My dad's work was throwing a barbecue get-together thing and I got to eat as many hot dogs on white bread as I could handle But the best part of it all was I got to wash it down with soda Listen, I was very sugar deprived back home.

不過，現在我自己生活了，我還是會買小麥麵包，因為我不想英年早逝，我還有 YouTube 視頻要拍，有些東西永遠不會變，我想除了我會買白色的熱狗麵包，小麥麵包還是很噁心，當我還是個小孩子的時候，我爸爸的工作組織、部門舉辦了一次燒烤聚會，我可以盡情地吃白麵包上的熱狗，但最棒的是我可以用蘇打水沖掉 聽著，我在老家非常缺糖。

I had to catch up on all the sugar.

我得把所有的糖都補回來。

I was missing out on I don't remember what the soda was exactly but let's just say for the sake of this story It was an original bottle of coke from the 1800s It might as well have had cocaine because I was addicted to all the white powdery stuff They added in that drink pretty soon My tummy started to get the rumblies and I had no idea what was causing it So I told my dad dad my tummy hurts and he said hmm It's probably because you're dehydrated here have some soda and I still respected my dad at that age and thought he knew what he was Talking about so I drank more soda and then I threw up and my dad said we should leave I mentioned this next story in my first book available in bookstores near you Be on the lookout for book number two coming out at the end of March But one time my mom bought a giant three-pound bag of Skittles I forgot what she bought them for but they definitely weren't for us She locked them away in a closet because she knew what us kids would do if we got our grubby little hands on the Skittles This wasn't the first time my mom had to hide candy from us But this time she forgot to lock the closet leaving the Skittles unprotected and me and my older brother ate the entire Thing and we would have gotten away with it, but then something came up Puke I threw up on the family room carpet My mom saw how rainbow the throw-up was and immediately put two and two together and knew that we had gotten into our Skittles The funny part of this story is that my older brother got punished But I didn't because according to my mom I had already suffered enough And that's why that story is in the chapter titled perks of being the younger brother Anyways, don't eat so much candy that you throw up.

我不記得蘇打水到底是什麼了，但為了這個故事，我們姑且這麼說吧，那是一瓶19世紀的原裝可樂，裡面可能還有可卡因，因為我對那種飲料裡添加的白色粉末狀東西上癮了 很快，我的肚子開始咕咕叫，我不知道是什麼原因，於是我告訴爸爸，爸爸，我肚子疼，他說嗯，可能是因為你脫水了，喝點蘇打水吧。我在那個年紀還很尊敬爸爸，覺得他知道自己在說什麼，所以我喝了更多的蘇打水，然後我吐了，爸爸說我們該走了。她把它們鎖在壁櫥裡，因為她知道，如果我們把髒兮兮的小手伸進壁櫥，我們這些孩子會做出什麼事來。 這不是我媽媽第一次把糖果藏起來不讓我

Okay, I'm gonna be talking about M&Ms for a while So to make it go faster instead of saying M&Ms I'm just gonna say mmm and one of my older videos I said that my favorite candy bar was mmm and every time I would tell people that they would always say That's not a candy bar Just I Just can't do this anymore But then something interesting happened a year after that video was posted mmm actually released a bar version of their candy So now I can absolutely say that mmm is my favorite candy bar and not get any weird looks someone at the mmm marketing team sent me a box of mmm candy bars, and I think they wanted me to promote it, but Because I said that mmms are my favorite candy bar whenever I go to a convention sometimes you guys bring me mmm candy Which is very thoughtful, but you know I like other things too like Oreos and Twix and Money, you know I'm just saying you don't have to bring me mmm all the time when I was visiting London I went to the mmm store with my friends Adam and Mads, and if you don't know about the mmm London store It's four stories tall 35,000 square feet and according to Wikipedia the largest sweet store in the world So it was kind of big once I stepped inside my first thought was Okay, this is too much.

好的 Okay、所以為了快點，我不說 M&Ms 我就說 mmmm 我以前的一個視頻裡，我說我最喜歡的糖果棒是 mmmm 每次我跟別人說的時候，他們總是說 那不是糖果棒，我不能再這樣了但有趣的事情發生了，在那個視頻發佈一年後，mmm 推出了棒棒糖版本，所以現在我完全可以說mmm 是我最喜歡的棒棒糖，而且不會受到任何奇怪的目光、我想他們是想讓我宣傳一下、但因為我說 mmms 是我最喜歡的糖果棒 每次我去參加會議 有時你們會給我帶 mmms 糖果 這很貼心，但我也喜歡其他東西 比如奧利奧、Twix 和 Mone

It was like the candy forest scene in Willy Wonka except It was all chocolate and expensive in one part of the store You could make your own custom mmms with a picture and two phrases so for the picture I googled my cartoon self held up my phone to the camera and it bloody worked bait and for the phrases naturally we wanted to Write something that was meaningful, so we wrote mad stinks and Adam smells But the mmm employee didn't allow us to write that because it was too negative and went against the mmm brand So knowing we were not allowed to roast each other the next phrases We decided to print was get Mads and something else YT It wasn't creative, but without being able to make fun of each other We didn't have a lot to work with but those phrases weren't allowed either because they were the names of some Youtubers so they got flagged by the system, and they told us you'll need permission from the youtuber even though you're both right here listen boys I'm just a mmm employee.

你可以用一張圖片和兩個短語來製作自己的定製 mmms，所以在圖片方面，我上網搜索了我的卡通形象，並將手機對準相機，結果就有了誘人的效果、於是我們寫了 mad stinks 和 Adam smells，但 mmm 的員工不允許我們這麼寫，因為這太消極了，有悖於 mmm 品牌、但如果不能互相取笑，我們也沒有太多辦法，但這些短語也是不允許的，因為它們是一些Youtuber的名字，所以被系統標記了，他們告訴我們，你們需要Youtuber的許可，儘管你們都在這裡，聽著，孩子們，我只是mmm的員工。

I don't want to get sued on one hand I'm glad that mmm has a system in place to prevent people from stealing But on the other hand, it's just mmm.

一方面，我不想被起訴，另一方面，我很高興 mmm 有一套防止人們偷竊的系統。

What do you think we're gonna do with them?

你覺得我們該拿他們怎麼辦？

So after two failed attempts at getting the phrase we wanted we settled on getting Adam and Mads at least I still got my cannonball guy printed even though technically this image is Copyrighted so mmm.

是以，在兩次試圖得到我們想要的短語失敗後，我們最終選擇了亞當和麥德斯，至少我還是印出了我的炮彈人，儘管從技術上講，這張圖片是有版權的，所以嗯。

You'll be hearing from my lawyers soon one of the disadvantages of being a youtuber is the lack of benefits We don't even have dental and with all the junk food.

我的律師很快就會告訴你們，做優酷主播的一個缺點就是沒有福利，我們甚至沒有牙醫，還得吃垃圾食品。

I'm eating and the flossing I'm not doing I should probably see one can I confess something?

我在吃東西，牙線也沒有用，也許我應該去看醫生，我能懺悔嗎？

I didn't know dentists were optional I thought they summoned you to their offices like jury duty.

我不知道牙醫也是可選的，我以為他們會像陪審團一樣傳喚你去他們的辦公室。

That's what it felt like when I was a kid I've never gotten a cavity though at least not one that I know of so at least I'm doing something right now comes the part Of the video where I give you advice on eating healthy, but I'm still working on that myself And when I don't know what to eat I can't help but biting down on a delicious carrot carrots are the most popular vegetable in the world having been nominated as the best Orange thing ever use code odd one next time you purchase a carrot to get 5,000 free carrot points and a bunch of weird looks at the grocery store Give your body the fuel it needs you wouldn't pour soda in a car engine and expect it to run of course That's not really the best metaphor to use because you also wouldn't pour water into a car and expect it to run I guess everyone drink gasoline because cars and people are the same, but the point is you've only got one body So you should take care of it

當我不知道該吃什麼的時候，我就會情不自禁地咬一口美味的胡蘿蔔。胡蘿蔔是世界上最受歡迎的蔬菜，曾被提名為有史以來最好的橘子、給你的身體提供所需的燃料 你不會把蘇打水倒進汽車發動機，然後指望它能跑起來 當然，這並不是最好的比喻，因為你也不會把水倒進汽車，然後指望它能跑起來 我想每個人都會喝汽油，因為汽車和人是一樣的，但問題是你只有一個身體，所以你應該照顧好它