Today we're going to be talking about the 10 things that you need to stop doing in 2025.

今天，我們將討論 2025 年你需要停止做的 10 件事。

Now this is a list of things that have dramatically changed my own life and have changed the lives of the men that I have worked with.

現在，我列舉的這些事情極大地改變了我自己的生活，也改變了與我共事過的人的生活。

I'm very fortunate in the sense that the clients that I get to work with are men that run hedge funds, that are Wall Street traders, they're some of the best in their industry, athletes, professional athletes from the NFL and NHL, rappers, musicians, heavy metal guitarists and drummers, guys that are real estate moguls and entrepreneurs in the tech world.

我很幸運，能與我共事的客戶有經營對沖基金的人，有華爾街交易員，他們都是各自行業中的佼佼者；有運動員，來自美國國家橄欖球聯盟（NFL）和國家冰球聯盟（NHL）的職業運動員；有說唱歌手、音樂家、重金屬吉他手和鼓手；有房地產大亨，也有科技界的企業家。

I really get to work with some of the elite top performing men and what I've noticed is that all of these men at some point have to stop doing these behaviors that are in this list.

我真正接觸到的是一些表現出色的精英人士，我注意到的是，所有這些人在某些時候都必須停止做這份清單中的這些行為。

And rather than doing some New Year's, new you, BS resolution that never works, that nobody ever follows through on, that I personally just legitimately dislike, I think it's garbage, these are the things that you can start to call out and cut out of your life that are going to make a dramatic, dramatic difference.

而不是去做一些新年、新你、BS 決議，這些決議從來都行不通，從來都沒有人去執行，我個人也非常不喜歡，我認為這是垃圾，這些都是你可以開始喚醒並從你的生活中剔除的東西，它們會讓你的生活發生翻天覆地的變化。

So number one, let's just dive straight into it and if you enjoy this, please don't forget to man it forward, share this with somebody in your life that you know will enjoy it, it goes a long way to growing the channel and supporting the work that we're doing but it also just goes a long way to supporting the men that are in your life.

所以，第一，讓我們直接進入正題，如果你喜歡這個，請別忘了轉發，與你生活中你知道會喜歡它的人分享，這對頻道的發展和支持我們正在做的工作有很大幫助，但對支持你生活中的男人也有很大幫助。

So don't forget to man it forward, subscribe to the channel, like the video and let's dive in.

所以，別忘了轉發、訂閱頻道、點贊視頻，讓我們一起深入瞭解。

So number one, I can't say this any other way, stop shitting on yourself, stop shitting on yourself, stop brutally just like destroying yourself verbally in your head, punishing yourself every single time that you get something wrong, shaming yourself anytime that you don't live up to the unrealistic expectations that you have set for yourself, stop self-flagellating and self-punishing every single time something goes wrong.

所以，第一，我不能用別的方式來表達，停止自責，停止自暴自棄，停止在腦海中用言語摧殘自己，停止在每一次做錯事時懲罰自己，停止在任何時候因為沒有達到自己給自己設定的不切實際的期望而羞辱自己，停止在每一次出錯時自我鞭撻和自我懲罰。

Start taking what I call clean accountability.

開始接受我所說的廉潔問責。

This means no shaming yourself, no shaming yourself or punishing yourself when things go wrong, when you have messed up, when you have made a bad decision.

這意味著，當事情出了差錯，當你搞砸了，當你做了一個錯誤的決定時，不要羞辱自己，不要羞辱自己或懲罰自己。

Now I say this because I've noticed a trend in a lot of men that I've worked with over the last decade and in myself, I used to beat the crap out of myself verbally in my head whenever I did anything wrong, whenever I didn't meet some unrealistic expectation I set for myself, I would lace into myself, what's wrong with you, you're such a POS, how could you do that, nobody else would get this wrong, you're so stupid, and I would just berate myself and in some ways I was trying to do that to leverage shame to try and propel me forward, to get better results.

我之所以這麼說，是因為我注意到在過去十年裡，與我共事過的很多男人身上都有一種趨勢，而我自己也是如此，每當我做錯任何事，每當我沒有達到我為自己設定的一些不切實際的期望時，我都會在腦子裡把自己打得屁滾尿流、我就會對自己說，你怎麼了，你真是個廢物，你怎麼能這樣做，別人不會做錯的，你太笨了，我只是在責罵自己，在某種程度上，我是想利用羞恥感來推動我前進，取得更好的成績。

Now this is a catch-22 because for some men, you might be one of the men like me where shame was crippling me and that self-punishment, that self-deprecation was the thing standing in my way.

現在，這是一個 "22 "字訣，因為對於某些男人來說，你可能就是像我這樣的男人，羞恥感讓我變得殘缺不全，自我懲罰、自我貶低是阻礙我前進的因素。

Now there are men who are in a very different camp where they leverage that self-deprecation, they leverage their shame, they leverage what I call dark motivation, they punish themselves and whip themselves verbally, psychologically and emotionally in order to try and get results and it works for a period of time.

現在，有一些男人處於一個截然不同的陣營，他們利用自我貶低，利用羞恥感，利用我所說的黑暗動機，在言語上、心理上和情感上懲罰自己、鞭打自己，以試圖取得成果，這在一段時間內是有效的。

And this is the catch, all of the men that I have ever worked with that have used shame to motivate themselves, at some point that mechanism of shame-based motivation will start to work against them.

這就是問題所在，與我共事過的所有用羞恥感來激勵自己的人，在某些時候，這種基於羞恥感的激勵機制會開始對他們不利。

They'll start to not be able to perform, they'll get depressed, they will just genuinely loathe and hate themselves, they'll destroy relationships and push people away because they don't see that they're worthy, a whole bunch of things can happen.

他們會開始無法表現自己，他們會變得抑鬱，他們會真正地厭惡和憎恨自己，他們會破壞人際關係，把別人推得遠遠的，因為他們看不到自己的價值，一系列的事情都可能發生。

So this year in 2025, start to take clean accountability.

是以，在 2025 年的這一年，開始承擔清潔責任。

This means no shaming, no judgment of yourself, just yeah, that was the wrong choice, that was a bad decision, that wasn't a smart decision for me to make in my life and take ownership over it.

這意味著不羞辱、不評判自己，只說 "是的，那是個錯誤的選擇，那是個錯誤的決定，那不是我人生中明智的決定"，並對其進行自我控制。

And use that as a mechanism to propel you forward, use that clean accountability as a mechanism to help you change.

並將其作為推動你前進的機制，將清潔問責作為幫助你改變的機制。

Number two, stop letting women, stop blaming women for all of your problems.

第二，別再讓女人，別再把所有問題都歸咎於女人。

I've been on YouTube not for very long, I haven't been on YouTube for a super long time but I've been working with men for over a decade and what I've noticed on YouTube is that there is a very large subset of men who are convinced that every single problem in their life is the result of a woman's.

我在YouTube上的時間並不長，我在YouTube上的時間也不是很長，但我已經為男性工作了十多年，我在YouTube上注意到，有很大一部分男性堅信，他們生活中的每一個問題都是女人造成的。

And there's a large subset of women who believe the same thing about men, right?

有一大部分女性也對男性抱有同樣的看法，對嗎？

It's like the patriarchy is the sole problem with everything in existence today and every issue can be traced back to men.

就好像父權制是當今一切問題的唯一癥結所在，所有問題都可以追溯到男人身上。

So I get it, I get that maybe you are a man who has been screwed over by a woman, maybe you were betrayed, maybe you were cheated on, maybe you were hurt by a woman, maybe she divorced you and took half of everything that you earn and own, maybe she won't let you access your kids.

所以我明白了，我明白也許你是一個被女人整過的男人，也許你被背叛了，也許你被欺騙了，也許你被女人傷害了，也許她和你離婚了，拿走了你賺的和擁有的一切的一半，也許她不讓你接觸你的孩子。

I get that there are genuinely women out there who are brutal to men and maybe you've been on the receiving end of that.

我知道有些女人確實對男人很粗暴，也許你也曾受到過這樣的對待。

That still does not warrant and justify seeing women as the enemy writ large for every single problem in your life or every single problem for men in the world.

但這仍然不能證明將女性視為你生活中每一個問題或世界上男性每一個問題的敵人是正確的。

And so this is really about taking your own level of potency and power back because whenever we villainize the opposing sex and we say that they are responsible for all of our woes, all of our problems, we move into a victimhood position.

是以，這實際上是關於收回你自己的力量和權力，因為每當我們把異性貶低為惡棍，說他們要為我們所有的不幸、所有的問題負責時，我們就會陷入受害者的境地。

So you are not a victim to women.

所以，你不是女人的犧牲品。

Now you may have been victimized by women, abused by women physically, taken advantage of by women physically.

現在，你可能已經成為女性的受害者，受到女性的身體虐待，被女性佔盡身體便宜。

I'm not negating that.

我並沒有否定這一點。

I'm sorry if that happened to you.

如果發生在你身上，我很抱歉。

That's terrible.

太可怕了

That sucks.

真糟糕

So I'm not saying that that's not a real thing and I do not ever want to downplay that that's a very real thing that a lot of men experience and for the most part that's not what a lot of men are going through.

是以，我並不是說這不是一件真實的事情，我也不想貶低這是很多男人都會經歷的真實事情，但在大多數情況下，這並不是很多男人正在經歷的事情。

What a lot of men are going through is they're pissed at women.

很多男人正在經歷的是他們對女人的憤怒。

They see women as the problem.

他們認為婦女是問題所在。

They're angry.

他們很生氣。

They don't think that they can get the women that they want and so they're projecting a tremendous amount of vitriol and resentment and hostility towards women and acting like the victim to women.

他們認為自己無法得到想要的女性，是以對女性投射出大量的怨恨、不滿和敵意，在女性面前表現得像個受害者。

I can't get the job that I want because of women.

因為女人，我找不到我想要的工作。

I can't make enough money for women.

我賺的錢不夠女人花。

I'll never be able to make women happy and women become the sort of embodiment of a man's perfectionism, a man's relationship with his own perfectionism and he can never get it right with his own perfectionism because he can never meet his own expectations and for some men they project that out on to women.

我永遠無法讓女人幸福，女人就成了男人完美主義的化身，男人與自己完美主義的關係，他永遠無法與自己的完美主義保持一致，因為他永遠無法滿足自己的期望，而對有些男人來說，他們會把這種期望投射到女人身上。

I can never make you happy.

我永遠無法讓你幸福

I can never get it right with you.

我永遠無法和你好好相處。

You're always going to betray me and what it does is create a not just a victim orientation within your mind and your mindset but it allows you to stay lonely and isolated and disconnected from women because you just see them as one way.

你永遠都會背叛我，而這不僅會在你的思想和思維中形成一種受害者的傾向，還會讓你保持孤獨、孤立，與女性脫節，因為你只是把她們看成一種方式。

You just see women as a problem or as dysfunctional or as all entitled and you never actually meet the woman that's in front of you because you're just interacting with the perception that you hold of women that's being projected on to her.

你只是把女性看成是一個問題，或者是功能障礙，或者是所有有權的人，而你從來沒有真正遇到過你面前的女性，因為你只是在與你對女性的看法互動，而這種看法被投射到了她的身上。

So stop blaming women for all your problems and start to get to know the women that are actually in your life that you meet whether it's at the coffee shop or the gym or the grocery store or at the yoga studio or wherever it is that you go at work.

所以，不要再把所有的問題都歸咎於女人，開始去了解那些你在生活中遇到的女人，不管是在咖啡店、健身房、雜貨店、瑜伽館，還是在你工作的地方。

Start to genuinely get to know them and get to know that individual woman rather than projecting your animosity and vitriol towards women at large on to every single woman that you meet.

開始真正地瞭解她們，瞭解每一位女性，而不是把你對廣大女性的敵意和怨恨投射到你遇到的每一位女性身上。

Number three, stop tuning in to calorie list content.

第三，停止關注卡路里清單內容。

Stop tuning into terrible content.

停止收聽糟糕的內容。

Stop tuning into the thirst traps, delete your OnlyFans account if you have one, unfollow all the women on Instagram or TikTok that you follow that you know are just a waste of time that are just getting your attention for free, getting your follow and all your likes and all your comments and all your time and attention and your imagination is going towards them.

不要再沉迷於渴求的陷阱，刪除你的 OnlyFans 賬戶（如果你有的話），取消關注 Instagram 或 TikTok 上所有你關注的女性，你知道她們只是在浪費時間，只是在免費吸引你的注意力，吸引你的關注、你所有的贊、你所有的評論，你所有的時間、注意力和想象力都流向了她們。

Stop wasting your time on content that is not nourishing your mind, that's not helping you to develop into the man, the leader, the husband, the partner, the father that you ultimately want to be.

不要再把時間浪費在那些不能滋養你心靈的內容上，那些不能幫助你成長為你最終想成為的男人、領導者、丈夫、伴侶和父親的內容上。

Start to consume valuable content that is designed specifically for the sole purpose of supporting you on the mission that you are on.

開始消費有價值的內容，這些內容專為支持你完成任務而設計。

Whatever that mission is, maybe you want to make a million dollars next year.

不管這個使命是什麼，也許你明年想賺一百萬美元。

Maybe you just want to enter into the workforce and get a good job.

也許你只是想參加工作，找到一份好工作。

Maybe you want to start a business.

也許你想創業。

Maybe you want to have an extraordinary relationship or a really great sex life or whatever it is.

也許你想擁有一段非同尋常的關係，或者一段非常棒的性生活，或者其他什麼。

Maybe you want to be an extraordinary father.

也許你想成為一位非凡的父親。

Start to consume the type of content that is going to help you reach your goal and attack your mission.

開始消費有助於實現目標和完成任務的內容類型。

So really hone in on this.

所以，一定要認真對待。

That might mean that you have to unfollow people, might mean that you have to go off of social media for a while, but really take a look at the content.

這可能意味著你必須取消關注別人，可能意味著你必須暫時離開社交媒體，但你真的要看看內容。

Maybe you're only listening to certain podcasts and you need to broaden your podcast listening.

也許你只聽某些播客，你需要擴大你的播客收聽範圍。

Maybe there's some books that you actually need to read and not just consume content but actually dive back into some books.

也許有些書你真的需要讀一讀，而不僅僅是消費內容，而是真正地重新鑽研一些書。

So stop consuming calorie-less content and start consuming content that is going to support you in reaching your goals.

是以，不要再消費沒有卡路里的內容，而要開始消費能幫助你實現目標的內容。

Number four, stop ignoring your finances.

第四，不要再忽視你的財務狀況。

I cannot tell you how many men I have worked with over the years who use avoidance as their main tool and tactic when it comes to their finances.

我無法告訴你，多年來我曾與多少人共事過，他們在財務問題上把逃避作為主要的工具和策略。

You ask them how things are going financially, how much do you have saved, where's your debt at, how much is your monthly burn, and they're not able to give you any information.

你問他們經濟狀況如何，你有多少存款，你的債務情況如何，你每個月的開銷是多少，他們卻無法提供任何資訊。

And I used to be like this.

我以前也是這樣。

I felt insecure about money, I was terribly broke, I was in debt, I was like the ramen noodle dude.

我對金錢沒有安全感，我身無分文，我負債累累，我就像一個拉麵花花公子。

I used to make this, oh man, I'm going to get so much flack for this if you're watching this or listening to this.

我以前經常做這個，哦，天哪，如果你在看這個或聽這個，我一定會被罵得狗血淋頭。

But in university I was so broke that I would make stir fry with lunch meat because I didn't have enough money to buy real chicken breasts or I didn't have enough money to buy steaks and that type of meat.

但在大學時，我一貧如洗，我會用午餐肉做炒菜，因為我沒有足夠的錢買真正的雞胸肉，也沒有足夠的錢買牛排之類的肉。

I would just buy like turkey lunch meat.

我會買火雞午餐肉之類的。

And so I would make this stir fry, I remember dating this woman in university and I made it for her one time and she was like, what is this?

我記得在大學裡和一個女生約會，有一次我做了這個炒菜給她吃，她問我這是什麼？

Like are you okay?

比如你還好嗎？

Do you need help?

您需要幫助嗎？

Do I need to send you help?

我需要向你求助嗎？

But part of that was that I was just in complete avoidance of my money situation.

但部分原因是我完全迴避了自己的財務狀況。

I did not want to look at it at all because I was broke, I was in debt, I didn't know how to save money, I didn't know how to invest money, I didn't know what the hell an ETF fund was or a Roth IRA or a tax-free savings account.

我根本不想看，因為我破產了，我負債累累，我不知道如何存錢，我不知道如何投資，我不知道 ETF 基金、羅斯 IRA 或免稅儲蓄賬戶是什麼鬼東西。

I didn't know what any of those things were.

我不知道這些東西是什麼。

And so it was just overwhelming.

是以，這讓我不知所措。

And so I used avoidance as a tool and tactic for my finances.

於是，我把逃避作為我理財的工具和策略。

So start to educate yourself in 2025 about money, about how to save, how to invest, how to earn more money, maybe how to have passive income, whatever that is, just start to level up your relationship to money so that you're not avoiding some of the hard parts.

是以，在 2025 年開始對自己進行金錢教育，教育自己如何儲蓄、如何投資、如何賺更多的錢，也許是如何獲得被動收入，不管是什麼，只要開始提升你與金錢的關係，這樣你就不會迴避一些困難的部分。

You should be able to get to a point where you are running your personal finances like a business, where you have a P&L statement for your personal finances on a monthly, quarterly and annual basis so that you can see the breakdown of how much money is coming in, where is that money going to, how much money is being saved, where is it being invested and how are those investments doing.

你應該能夠做到像經營企業一樣經營個人財務，每月、每季度和每年都有一份個人財務損益表，這樣你就能看到有多少錢進來、錢去了哪裡、存了多少錢、在哪裡投資以及這些投資的情況如何。

That's the basic breakdown for finances that no one taught me, that I wish someone had sat down, one of my parents, my mom was a banker, she probably could have done that at some point.

這就是沒人教我的財務基本知識，我希望有人能坐下來教我，我父母中的一位，我媽媽是個銀行家，她可能在某個時候就會這麼做。

But somebody had sat me down and said, here's how money works and operates, here's the basics of it and we're going to help you to learn how to invest.

但是，有人讓我坐下來，對我說："這就是資金的運作方式，這就是資金的基本知識，我們將幫助你學習如何投資。

And that just never happened.

而這一切從未發生過。

But it's one of the things that has radically changed my life.

但這也是徹底改變我生活的原因之一。

When I prioritized my finances, I started earning more, I started not just earning and making more but I started to save more, I paid off my debt pretty quickly so I got entirely debt free which felt amazing even though I made some sacrifices along the way.

當我把財務放在首位時，我開始賺更多的錢，我開始不僅僅是賺更多的錢，而且我開始存更多的錢，我很快就還清了債務，所以我完全沒有了債務，這感覺非常棒，儘管我一路上做出了一些犧牲。

I remember at one point, I don't know, I think it was like 2014, I was going to invest, I think it was like 10 grand into Tesla.

我記得有一次，不知道是什麼時候，好像是 2014 年，我打算投資 1 萬美元到特斯拉。

And I didn't do it because at the time, I didn't know anything about stock trading, I thought it would be a good idea to buy Tesla stock, I think it was at like 20 bucks at the time or something ridiculous like that or like $42.

我沒有這麼做，因為當時我對股票交易一無所知，我覺得買特斯拉股票是個好主意，我想當時特斯拉的股價大概是 20 美元，或者是類似 42 美元的荒唐價格。

But I had all of this credit card debt and I'd been carrying that credit card debt for a long time and I just made a decision to pay down the credit card debt because I was on a mission, I had a goal, get rid of my debt.

但是，我的信用卡欠款已經拖了很久，我決定還清信用卡欠款，因為我肩負著使命，我有一個目標，那就是擺脫債務。

Because it wasn't good debt, right?

因為那不是好債務，對嗎？

I wasn't leveraging to buy stocks and making more revenue off of the stocks than I was on the cost to borrow the money, it wasn't good debt.

我沒有利用槓桿購買股票，也沒有從股票中賺取比借錢成本更多的收入，這不是好債務。

It was like 20% on a credit card that had like $25,000 on it, it was not good.

信用卡上有 2.5 萬美元的利息，相當於信用卡的 20%，這可不是什麼好事。

So I decided to pay off all my debt.

於是，我決定還清所有債務。

Now in hindsight, I wish I had bought the Tesla stock but I succeeded in my mission to pay off the debt and I'm really glad that I didn't gamble because I didn't know anything, I probably would have lost money, I would have been like the only dude that lost money on that stock.

現在回想起來，我真希望當時買了特斯拉的股票，但我成功地完成了還債的任務，我真的很慶幸我沒有賭博，因為我什麼都不懂，我可能會賠錢，我會是唯一一個在那支股票上賠錢的人。

So stop ignoring your finances, focus on them for 2025.

所以，不要再忽視你的財務狀況了，2025 年要把重點放在財務上。

Number five is stop seeking validation from women, from external sources.

第五條是停止從女性、從外部尋求認可。

Now I call this stop outsourcing validation and start insourcing validation.

現在，我稱之為停止外包驗證，開始內包驗證。

So what a lot of guys do because we're very external is they outsource validation, outsource the reinforcement of their own self-worth.

是以，很多人都會這樣做，因為我們是非常外向的，他們把驗證外包出去，把自我價值的強化外包出去。

I'm not sure if I'm worthy, I'm not sure if I'm good enough, I'm not sure if I'm smart enough, I'm not sure if I'm attractive enough.

我不確定自己是否有價值，我不確定自己是否足夠優秀，我不確定自己是否足夠聰明，我不確定自己是否足夠有魅力。

And what they do is they try and deploy this mechanism of getting feedback from people at work, from friends, from family members, from people that they whatever, see at the gym, from their girlfriends, from their wives, from their partners and they try and get validation to fill up their internal lack of I don't feel good enough.

他們所做的就是嘗試和部署這種機制，從工作中的人、朋友、家人、在健身房看到的人、女朋友、妻子、伴侶那裡得到反饋，他們嘗試和得到驗證，以填補他們內心的缺失--我覺得自己不夠好。

Now if there's one thing that you can do, if this one really hits home with you, if there's one thing that you can really start doing in 2025, it is to build a rigorous mechanism of self-appreciation and self-recognition.

現在，如果你能做一件事，如果這件事真的能打動你，如果你能在 2025 年真正開始做一件事，那就是建立一個嚴格的自我欣賞和自我認可機制。

If you can start to give yourself recognition and appreciation for the things that you are doing, that you are doing well, if you can acknowledge like oh I got up this morning and I executed on my morning routine and I'm like really good job and you can start to build the habit of reinforcing all the things that you do well and all of the parts of yourself that are valuable innately and inherently, you won't need to externalize and outsource all of that validation.

如果你能開始對自己正在做的事情、做得好的事情給予肯定和讚賞，如果你能承認，比如哦，我今天早上起床後執行了晨間常規，我就會覺得自己做得非常好，你就能開始養成習慣，強化自己做得好的所有事情，強化自己與生俱來、與生俱來就有價值的所有部分，你就不需要將所有的肯定外化和外包。

So stop outsourcing that validation and start insourcing that self-recognition and appreciation.

是以，不要再把驗證外包出去，而要開始把自我認可和讚賞內包出去。

The next piece is stop overworking.

其次是停止過度勞累。

This is number six.

這是第六個。

Stop overworking.

停止過度工作。

I see so many men killing themselves, really burning themselves out in order to make a living and they just really struggle to prioritize any type of time for themselves.

我看到很多男人為了生活而自殺，真的是在燃燒自己，他們真的很難為自己安排任何時間。

And I think it's challenging because hustle culture within a modern society really glorifies the pathway that leads to burnout.

我認為這很有挑戰性，因為現代社會的喧囂文化確實美化了導致職業倦怠的途徑。

Hustle culture in itself is really just a recipe for the end destination is going to be burnout.

匆忙文化本身其實只是一個祕訣，其最終目的將是倦怠。

That's really what it is.

就是這樣。

Now there are some people who love working really hard, who love just going a thousand miles an hour and that's okay.

現在，有些人喜歡拼命工作，喜歡以每小時一千英里的速度前進，這沒關係。

There's nothing wrong with that.

這沒什麼不對。

I love working hard.

我喜歡努力工作。

I really, really do.

我真的真的很想。

I love working hard.

我喜歡努力工作。

I love building my business and I have had to learn to rest.

我熱愛我的事業，我必須學會休息。

I've had to learn to pull back on the reins sometimes and not take on more than I can do naturally.

我必須學會有時收回韁繩，不要承擔超出我自然能力的事情。

And this isn't about balance.

這與平衡無關。

This isn't about work-life balance.

這與工作和生活的平衡無關。

I think a lot of that stuff is nonsense.

我認為很多東西都是無稽之談。