Oh, yes.

You mean the one everyone called the pumpkin?

Yep.

I loved that jacket.

But after hearing all those comments, I stopped wearing it.

I felt so embarrassed, even though it made me happy.

I totally get it.

Once I wanted to join the drama club, but I didn't because someone said, Gwen's too shy to act.

I cared more about what they thought than what I wanted.

Why do we do that?

Why do we let other people's opinions hold us back?

That's exactly what we're talking about today.

How to stop caring so much about what other people think about us.

Welcome to Podcast and Chill on the Learning English Podcast Channel.

I'm Gwen.

And I'm Leo.

Today, we'll share why we care so much, what it costs us, and how to let go of those fears.

If you're tired of living for others, keep listening.

Let us help you take the first step to living freely, without fear of what others think.

Oh, and here's a little reminder for our listeners.

In today's episode, we've prepared a free PDF with tips and to help you on your journey.

Make sure to check it out in the description box or the comment section.

Now, let's get into it.

So why do we care so much about what others think?

First, let's start with this.

It's normal.

It's part of being human.

According to researchers, thousands of years ago, humans have lived in groups.

Back then, being accepted by the group meant safety.

If the group didn't like you, it could mean danger or even survival.

So, we learn to care about how others see us.

We don't need others' approval to survive anymore, yet we still crave it.

But now, let's think about today.

Life is very different.

We don't need to fight for survival like before, but we still care about opinions.

What is the reason behind that, Leo?

In today's world, we have more pressure.

I feel like society always tells us to act a certain way.

Culture gives us rules about how to look, speak, and live.

And then, there's social media.

Think about social media for a moment.

Every time you post a picture or write a comment, you wait for likes or comments.

You want people to approve of you, it's like a scoreboard for your life.

If people don't respond, you feel bad, like you're not good enough.

This can be so exhausting, right?

Always thinking, what will they say?

Or, will they like this?

Yep, and caring too much has a price.

What's the cost of caring too much, Leo?

First, it takes away your freedom.

You end up doing things just to please others.

Yes, like wearing clothes you don't like or saying yes to things you don't want to do.

Second, it makes you insecure.

If someone doesn't like you, you start doubting yourself.

Am I not good enough?

That's so harmful.

And third, it stops you from trying new things.

You think, what if people laugh at me?

Imagine how many dreams stay dreams because of fear.

It's sad but true.

But here's something important.

Everyone has their own opinions.

That's right.

What one person loves, another person dislikes, and that's okay.

Some people love spicy food, others hate it.

Does that make spicy food bad?

No, it's just a preference.

It's the same with people.

Someone may not like you, but that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. Their opinion is about them, not you.

So what should we do, Leo?

We have to remind ourselves.

Others' opinions do not decide our worth.

And focus on what really matters.

Your own happiness and the people who truly care about you.

Right, because at the end of the day, the most important opinion is yours.

Well said, Gwen.

I think that if we let go of worrying about others, we can live freely and confidently.

And isn't that what we all want?

To live without fear and be ourselves.

Absolutely.

It's time to stop giving away our power to other people's opinions.

Let's choose to care less about judgment and more about what makes us happy.

Your worth isn't in someone else's thoughts.

It's in how you see yourself.

All right, now let's bring out some useful phrases in today's episode for our listeners.

Fit in, to feel accepted or part of a group.

Example, Sarah changed her hairstyle because she wanted to fit in with her new friends.

Left out, feeling excluded or ignored.

Example, when no one invited her to the party, she felt left out.

Crave, to have a strong desire for something.

Example, after a long day, I crave peace and quiet.

Measure our value, to decide how important or worthy our value is.

Example, your job title doesn't measure your value as a person.

Give away our power, to let others control your feelings or decisions.

Example, don't give away your power by letting negative comments ruin your day.

Hey Gwen, can I ask you a question?

Sure, go ahead.

Whose opinions really matter to you?

For me, it's the people who truly care about me.

My close friends, my family, the ones who love and support me no matter what.

Exactly.

But sometimes it feels like we give too much importance to what strangers or people who don't really know us think.

So true, and honestly, it's exhausting.

Why should someone who barely knows me have so much control over my emotions?

That's a great point.

Imagine if we focused only on the opinions of those who understand us, who actually want the best for us.

Don't you think we'd feel lighter, happier?

Absolutely, it's like a weight would be lifted.

And you know what?

Most people aren't even paying that much attention to us anyway.

That's just accurate.

People are usually busy thinking about themselves, not us.

So instead of worrying about what others think, why not shift the focus?

Ask yourself, how can I help someone today?

How can I bring value to others?

I love that.

When we focus on being kind or helpful, we stop worrying so much about how we look or what people might think.

It's a win-win.

Exactly.

And do you know what helps even more?

Building confidence in yourself. Confidence doesn't come from what others think of you.

It comes from understanding and accepting who you are.

Yes, and there are simple ways to build that confidence.

Write down your small wins every day.

For example, keep a journal.

It's amazing to look back and see how much you've done.

That's a great tip.

Another thing that works is taking time to do things you love.

It reminds you that your happiness doesn't depend on others' approval.

Totally agree.

And you know what else helps?

Hmm, it's setting boundaries.

If someone makes unreasonable demands, it's okay to say no.

Yeah, saying no doesn't make you mean or selfish.

It just means you respect your time and energy.

Another great step is focusing on actions, not thoughts.

Do what you enjoy and don't let worries about others' opinions stop you.

And remind yourself, I can't please everyone, and that's okay, because it really is okay.

At the end of the day, we can't control what others think, but we can control how we respond.

Living your own way is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

So here's a challenge for everyone listening.

Today, take a small step.

Do something you enjoy without worrying about anyone's opinion.

Maybe it's dancing in your room, wearing that outfit you love, or saying no to something you don't want to do.

Yes, and remember, every step truly counts.

You deserve to live a life that makes you happy.

All right, now, let's bring out some useful phrases in today's episode for our listeners.

Give importance to, to think something or someone is important.

Example, it's easy to give importance to what strangers think, but it's better to focus on those who love you.

Shift the focus to change your attention from one thing to another.

Example, instead of worrying about others' opinions, shift the focus to how you can help someone.

Unreasonable demands, demands that are too difficult, unfair, or impossible to do.

Example, my boss told me to finish eight hours of work in two hours.

That's an unreasonable demand.

Set boundaries, to create clear rules about what you will or will not accept.

Example, if someone makes unreasonable demands, it's okay to set boundaries and say no.

Take time, to use time to do something without rushing.

Example, taking time to do things you love reminds you that happiness doesn't depend on others' approval.

Now let's move on to some questions to help you understand today's topic.

Question one, why do humans care so much about what others think?

Humans are social beings and want to feel like they belong.

Long ago, being liked meant survival.

Even now, we still want approval, but we don't need it to survive anymore.

Question two, what are the costs of caring too much about others' opinions?

First, it takes away your freedom because you try to please others.

Second, it makes you insecure and doubt yourself.

Third, it stops you from trying new things because you fear being judged.

Question three, why should we focus on the opinions of people who truly care about us?

It's important because these people love and support us no matter what.

They want the best for you, so their opinions are the ones that matter the most.

Focusing on them makes you feel lighter and happier.

Question four, what are some ways to build confidence in yourself?

You can build confidence by writing down your small wins in a journal, practicing positive self-talk, and doing things you love.

These actions help remind you that your happiness doesn't depend on others' Dear listeners, what do you think?

We'd love to hear your thoughts on these questions, so feel free to share them with us in the comments.

And that's it for today's episode of Podcast and Chill.

Thank you so much for listening.

We love you, we believe in you, and we'll see you in the next episode of Podcast and Chill.

Keep being kind to yourself, live your way, and take care.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Podcast and Chill.