Have you ever felt that the more you wanted something, the more you realized it became harder to get it?

Maybe that could be a relationship, a job, or success in something that you're working on.

In this video, I'm going to share with you something I really wish I learned sooner, and I shared this with a friend over dinner who recently asked for my life advice.

She so badly wanted to stop feeling stuck and start making changes in her life that helped her to move forward for her career, her ambitions, and her relationship.

So let me explain how this works.

I used to overthink everything.

So that's every decision, every move, every opportunity.

And I thought if I just cared more about getting things perfect, about what people thought, about avoiding mistakes, I'd be more successful.

But in reality, caring too much was just holding me back.

So I made a change in my life, and it made me more confident and start to close that gap between having an idea to doing something and actually doing something about it by taking action on it.

I stopped caring about looking polished.

I stopped caring about having everything all figured out.

I stopped caring about what people might think.

And really, all of this changed everything for me.

Because I think here is the biggest mistake that most people make.

We think by caring deeply, that will make things work out.

We believe that if we just want something badly enough, it will happen.

I mean, you hear all the things on social media, right?

If you want it as bad as you want to breathe and hustle harder.

Now, I think ambition is good.

I'm not saying you shouldn't care about what you want or work hard for it.

But what I'm saying here is that you should try to be doing these to the best of your abilities.

And if you're satisfied and happy with what you have done, that you have done all that you can, the outcome is relevant because you showed up and you did your part as best as you could.

But sometimes, don't you feel that the opposite is true in your life?

I mean, think about it, right?

The more desperate sometimes you are to get this brand new job, the less confident you might seem at that interview.

You get nervous, don't perform as well as you should, and you didn't get the job.

And the more you chase someone in a relationship, you might go on a date and you really are super nervous and want to make it go well, the less attractive you become.

Because by doing that, we sometimes can come across as desperate and might even push them away.

The more you want success in your career or building your business, trying to get that next big promotion or land that big client, the harder it feels to come by.

Because I think neediness chase and detachment attracts.

And there's a reason why people who don't need success, they seem to get it.

Why the ones who don't care about being liked, they tend to attract the most respect.

It's because when you're no longer holding on to this outcome, you move differently, right?

And you show up differently.

You become calmer, you become more present, and you're much more powerful.

And really the irony here is that that's when things start to fall into place.

And this brings me to the next point, and that is the law of detachment.

So this is a law that says when you put in your best effort, let go of the result, life can work in your favor.

But now let me be clear.

I think this isn't about being careless about what you want.

It's about being free to finally detach yourself from the outcome.

So imagine how you feel to be free from anxiety, free from overthinking, free from the fear of failure, because here's the thing.

Now, if you get that job, great.

If not, you find another one.

There will be a better one that comes along.

If the relationship works, amazing.

But if not, maybe it wasn't meant to be, and because a better person's out there waiting for you.

And if the opportunity happens, fantastic.

But if not, something better is coming, and it's just going to be a matter of time.

Either way, you're going to be okay.

I promise.

The best high performers, the best athletes, and the best entrepreneurs that I know, they care, but they're not attached.

So they show up, they give their best, and then they let go.

Because they know if they've done everything they can, they've already won, and so have you.

And I think it's time that we all embrace this with or without your energy.

So the feeling that you're going ahead no matter what, and that helps you to show up more confident with every single step.

This really brings me to this next point of you finally accepting that you are enough.

So I'm a perfectionist by nature, and if you are too, shout out to all the perfectionists out there, including my friend who I love so dearly that asked for my advice.

What I learned about overcoming my perfectionism is that perfectionism isn't about trying to be perfect.

It's about never feeling like you're good enough.

So for me to overcome this, I had to understand and fully embrace my own values, and to be confident with who I am.

So when I stopped procrastinating on embracing my own success, this is when everything changed.

I launched my YouTube channel with just the phone in my pocket.

I stood up on that stage first time as a paid speaker with huge stage fright, and I started my first business with no fancy website or an online brand.

Because here's the most powerful thing in life, is that when you embrace your progress as a person to become who you are versus trying to achieve a result that you wanted, you will achieve more than you ever thought possible.

Knowing that what you have is enough, and that you are enough for this world.

By taking that next step forward without knowing how it will end, but really just trusting in the process, that is the secret to success.

And this really brings me to the point that this fear of judgment and rejection from others, they are really just stories that you're telling yourself.

Because at the end of the day, people who matter in your life, they won't mind.

And for the people who mind, they don't matter, not in your life.

So why waste another moment living for someone else's approval?

Why not build a life you actually want?

The one that aligns with your values, your goals, and your version for what happiness and success means to you?

Whenever you're watching this video, I want you to have the courage, clarity, and the power to live life on your terms.

Because you become powerful when you stop caring about the wrong things, and you become unstoppable.

If you've given your all, if you've shown up fully, then you have already won.

Thank you so much for being here.

I'm Lori.

If you like this video, you might also like this one about how this one idea changed how I work and live forever.

I look forward to seeing you in the next video.