Do you see this shit?

你看到這狗屎了嗎？

This is all man.

這都是人乾的。

And men are defined by their unrealistic dreams.

而男人的定義就是他們不切實際的夢想。

I'm a dreamer, San Francisco.

我是個夢想家，舊金山。

Like, here's a dream I have.

比如，這是我的一個夢想。

I dream that one day... monkeys will give scientists equal rights.

我夢想有一天......猴子會給予科學家平等的權利。

For too long, we have oppressed scientists from their dream of becoming monkeys.

長期以來，我們一直壓迫科學家，不讓他們實現成為猴子的夢想。

Because in those beautiful five seconds when you fall asleep at night, when your dreams mesh into your reality, all a scientist dreams of being is a monkey.

因為在夜晚入睡的那美麗的五秒鐘裡，當你的夢想融入現實時，科學家夢想成為的只是一隻猴子。

Do you feel me, San Francisco?

你感覺到了嗎，舊金山？

No?

不是嗎？

Are you on board?

你加入了嗎？

No.

不

And that's how I feel about feminism.

這就是我對女權主義的感受。

Oh!

哦！

Okay, women, calm the fuck down.

好了，女士們，冷靜點

Jesus Christ.

耶穌基督

Did you feel the energy shift in the room, huh?

你感覺到房間裡的能量轉變了嗎？

Just the BuzzFeed articles rising in their bodies.

只是BuzzFeed的文章在他們體內升騰。

Did you feel that shit?

你感覺到了嗎？

The dictionary defines feminism as the advocacy of equal rights based on the equality of the sexes.

詞典對女權主義的定義是：倡導基於男女平等的平等權利。

I'm on board with only the first half of that sentence.

我只同意前半句。

I believe we deserve equal rights.

我相信我們應該享有平等的權利。

I do not believe in the equality of the sexes.

我不相信男女平等。

I believe that women are beautiful, intelligent, layered, complex creatures.

我相信，女性是美麗、智慧、多層次的複雜生物。

Men are with them.

男人們和他們在一起。

My definition of feminism is not letting a woman be whatever a man can be.

我對女權主義的定義是，不讓女人做男人能做的任何事。

It's letting a woman be whatever a woman wants to be.

讓女人做女人想做的事。

To limit...

為了限制...

To limit a woman to the achievements of a man is to ask a scientist to become a monkey.

將女性的成就侷限於男性的成就，無異於要求科學家變成猴子。

Feel better, ladies, yeah?

感覺好些了嗎，女士們？

You're so stupid, you believe anything.

你真蠢，什麼都信。

All right, uh...

好吧，呃...

No!

不

Whoa, whoa, calm down.

哇哦 哇哦 冷靜點

I identify as a feminist.

我的身份是女權主義者。

If you do, clap your hands, please, yes?

如果你願意，請拍拍手，好嗎？

Isn't it a wonderful feeling, guys, huh?

這種感覺很棒吧，夥計們？

Isn't the best thing about it that you can identify as a feminist and feel like one without actually doing anything about it?

最棒的一點不就是，你可以認定自己是女權主義者，感覺自己也是女權主義者，而不需要做任何實際行動嗎？

You can just feel it.

你能感覺到。

On the inside.

內部

That's Indian feminism.

這就是印度的女權主義。

We identify and fuck off.

我們確認身份，然後滾蛋。

It's feminism, not the gymkhana club.

這是女權主義，不是健身俱樂部。

You don't need a membership card.

您不需要會員卡。

If there's one thing we can learn from racists, it's let's talk more action.

如果說我們能從種族主義者身上學到什麼，那就是多說多做。

You don't see racists identifying as racists, writing blogs, you know, feeling the racism inside.

你看不到種族主義者認定自己是種族主義者，寫博客，你知道的，他們內心感受到的是種族主義。

No, they just wake up in the morning and they do racist shit every day, all day long, with commitment.

不，他們只是每天早上醒來，就開始幹種族主義的勾當，一天到晚，兢兢業業。

And look how far their movement has come.

看看他們的運動已經取得了多大的成就。

They are running your country, my country, Britain, well done, racists.

他們在管理你的國家、我的國家、英國，幹得好，種族主義者。

I say, well done, racists.

我要說，幹得好，種族主義者。

And, no, you know, the best thing about racism is anybody can be a racist.

而且，不，你知道，種族主義最棒的地方在於，任何人都可能是種族主義者。

They let you in, irrespective of, like, your income group, your sexual preference, your nationality.

他們讓你加入，無論你的收入群體、性取向、國籍如何。

Racism is a very inclusive movement, guys.

種族主義是一場包容性很強的運動，夥計們。

Now, with this whole feminism bit, ladies, I'm not trying to pander to you.

說到女權主義，女士們，我並不想迎合你們。

I'm not trying to tell you what you need to hear.

我不是想告訴你你需要聽什麼。

Because guess what?

你猜怎麼著？

I'm a man.

我是個男人

I don't know.

我不知道。

We haven't shut the fuck up long enough to know what you want to hear, all right?

我們還沒他媽閉嘴多久，不知道你想聽什麼，好嗎？

I...

I...

So I'm gonna be honest.

我就實話實說吧

I don't know how to be a feminist.

我不知道如何成為一名女權主義者。

I spoke to one, and she said, if you want to be a good feminist, forget how you treat women.

我和其中一位談過，她說，如果你想成為一名優秀的女權主義者，就忘掉你是如何對待女性的吧。

Begin with how you view yourself as a man, because 80% of masculinity is bullshit.

從如何看待自己作為一個男人開始，因為男性氣質的 80% 都是廢話。

And you think about that...

你想想...

Like, aren't you tired of being a man?

比如，你做男人不累嗎？

Can't we just be male?

我們就不能像個男人嗎？

Because being a man is fucking exhausting.

因為做男人真他媽累。

And it affects the way you treat other people.

它會影響你對待他人的方式。

Like, why do we have to show strength every day?

比如，為什麼我們每天都要展示力量？

Men have to show strength all the time in physical activities.

在體育活動中，男性必須時刻展現力量。

Like, you, buddy, come here.

比如，你，夥計，過來

Shake my hand, please, if you can.

如果可以的話，請和我握手。

Thank you, sir.

謝謝您，先生。

Shake my hand.

和我握手

Why do I squeeze his hand so hard?

我為什麼要這麼用力地捏他的手？

Why are men expected to do this?

為什麼男人要這樣做？

Does this achieve anything?

這樣做有什麼效果嗎？

Yeah, what do I think?

是啊，我怎麼想？

Toothpaste is going to come out of your ears?

牙膏會從耳朵裡流出來？

Is this powerful?

這樣厲害嗎？

No.

不

You know what I like to do?

你知道我喜歡做什麼嗎？

I take a man's hand, and I kiss it.

我握住一個男人的手，親吻他。

And then I watch as his life falls apart in front of me.

然後我看著他的生活在我面前分崩離析。

As he quickly checks to see if there's any movement in his underwear whatsoever.

他一邊快速檢查自己的內衣是否有任何動靜。

Why do men have to defend women like they're objects?

為什麼男人要像保護物品一樣保護女人？

I'm sorry, I don't defend my wife anymore.

對不起，我不再為我的妻子辯護了。

If somebody insults my wife, I inform them that their insult could have been more accurate.

如果有人侮辱我的妻子，我會告訴他們，他們的侮辱本可以更準確。

Oh, you think she looks slutty now?

哦，你覺得她現在看起來很放蕩？

You should have seen her in 2014.

你真該看看她在 2014 年的表現。

That was a thigh-high bootsie.

那是一雙高筒靴。

Speaking of which, why are men so obsessed with wardrobe?

說到這裡，為什麼男人對衣櫥如此著迷呢？

Not ours, yours.

不是我們的，是你們的。

You think women care about what women wear?

你以為女人會在乎女人穿什麼嗎？

No, we care about what women wear.

不，我們關心女人穿什麼。

We look at your wardrobe like it's the Rosetta Stone, just looking for hidden messages in that shit.

我們看你的衣櫥就像看羅塞塔石碑一樣，只為尋找其中隱藏的資訊。

Every time a woman in India wears something revealing, like many of you are doing tonight, Indian men say shit like, oh, she's asking for it.

在印度，每當有女性像你們今晚這樣穿著暴露時，印度男人就會說 "哦，這是她自找的 "之類的話。

Am I wrong, ladies?

我說錯了嗎，女士們？

Have you heard that in your lives, yeah?

你們在生活中聽到過這樣的話嗎？

Our politicians have said that shit on the news.

我們的政客在新聞上都說過這種屁話。

She was asking for it.

這是她自找的。

Which is bullshit.

這是胡說八道。

The infinite beauty and fun of being a woman is if she's asking for it, she can just ask for it.

女人的無窮魅力和樂趣就在於，只要她想要，她就可以開口。

Because it is available, I promise you.

因為我向你保證，它是可用的。

She can just think of it and 20 it's will line up outside her door.

她只要一想到它，就會有 20 艘船在門外排隊等候。

For the woman, the world is Amazon dotted.

對於女人來說，世界就是亞馬遜的點點滴滴。

You can ask for it, compare it, size of it, delivery date of it, prime it, non-prime it, cash on delivery, whatever you like.

您可以提出要求、進行比較、選擇尺寸、選擇交貨日期、選擇優惠價、選擇非優惠價、選擇貨到付款等等。

That shit is available. That's the beauty of being a woman.

這些東西都是可用的。 這就是女人的魅力。

It's so specific.

它是如此具體。

You get to ask for it.

你可以提出要求。

It.

它。

Men, we just want to get some.

男人們，我們只是想找點樂子。

But nobody's looking for hidden messages in men's clothing, are they?

但沒人會在男裝中尋找隱藏的資訊，不是嗎？

I could wear a T-shirt that said, fuck me in the ass.

我可以穿一件T恤，上面寫著 "操我的屁股"。

I give you full permission to fuck me in the ass and nobody would do anything about that.

我完全允許你幹我的屁眼，沒人會拿你怎麼樣。

They'd just be like, well, that's a cool souvenir.

他們就會說，這紀念品真酷。