And uh there was this calculus teacher that said, "All right, I'm going to offer uh calculus tutoring for anyone who's willing to come to the campus during the winter break."

有一位微積分老師說 "好吧，我準備在寒假期間 為願意來學校的人提供微積分輔導"

And I thought, "This is an opportunity, someone's going to tutor me, this is great."

我想，"這是個機會，有人會輔導我，這太好了"

And and I remember specifically it cost $1.35 to get on the bus to to get the bus there and back, and I didn't even have that.

我還記得，坐公車來回要花 1.35 美元，而我當時連這個都沒有。

And I will never forget, it was the gas attendant.

我永遠不會忘記，是那個加油員。

He knew I was so dedicated to go to school, he loaned me, not loaned me; he basically gave it.

他知道我一心想上學，就借給我，不是借給我，基本上是給我。

Because I never had a chance to pay him back for it.

因為我從來沒有機會報答他。

He gave me $1.35 each way so I could catch a bus two hours to get to the campus.

他給了我單程 1.35 美元，這樣我就可以搭乘兩小時車程的公車前往校園。

And sit there, and I thought everyone's going to show up.

坐在那裡，我想每個人都會出現。

There was only myself.

只有我自己。

I thought to myself, "This is such a blessing."

我心想，"這真是一種幸福"。

And I sat there and I I picked his brain, I'm like, "What does an integral mean?

我坐在那裡，向他請教："積分是什麼意思？

Uh, what does the instantaneous rate mean?" and these are all words for derivatives in in calculus.

呃，瞬時速率是什麼意思？"這些都是微積分中的導數術語。

And I got a chance to sit down with him, and that was the first time ever that I realized I was smart.

我有機會和他坐在一起，那是我第一次意識到自己很聰明。

And when I sat with him uh it was amazing because I realized what was stopping me was my own fear, it wasn't anything with my educational aspect.

當我和他坐在一起時，我覺得很神奇，因為我意識到阻止我的是我自己的恐懼，而不是我的教育方面。

It was me thinking I couldn't do well in mathematics.

是我認為自己數學學不好。

And when I learned to remove that fear and think, "I'm going to do this no matter what's going to happen.

當我學會消除這種恐懼，並認為 "無論會發生什麼，我都要去做。

I may fail it, I may not fail it, I'm going to do well at this and I'm going to just just see where it goes.

我可能會失敗，也可能不會失敗，但我一定會做得很好，而且我會靜觀其變。

I'm going to put my all into it and find out."

我會全力以赴，找出答案。"

And I put my all into it and I failed.

我全力以赴，但還是失敗了。

I put my all I I I put my all into it and I failed, but it it something inside of me shifted.

我全力以赴，但還是失敗了，但我內心的某些東西發生了變化。

I realized failing wasn't that bad.

我意識到，失敗並沒有那麼糟糕。

If I can if I can like spend a little bit more time at it, I can actually do really well at this.

如果我能多花一點時間在這上面，我就能做得很好。

And that was a shift in thinking.

這就是思維的轉變。

I'm like, "All right, I'm just going to spend some more time in it and I'm going to actually get this."

我就想，"好吧，我再多花點時間在這上面，我就能真正得到這個"。

And I went to Cal State Northridge and I'm very thankful that was the best school I could have gone to.

我去了加州州立大學北嶺分校，我非常感謝那是我能去的最好的學校。

Because I had taken calculus and I'd taken those classes over, I scored relatively high on the placement test.

因為我學過微積分，而且這些課程都是重修過的，所以我在分班考試中得分相對較高。

And so the job, the oh this is how ironic life is; the only job that I got first when I was in college.

是以，這份工作，哦，這真是人生的一大諷刺；這是我上大學時先找到的唯一一份工作。

Was a math tutoring job.

是一份數學輔導工作。

I remember telling the boss that hired me, I told her, "I don't know half of these stuff."

我記得我跟僱我的老闆說 "這些東西我一知半解"

And so she says, "That's all right, just sit down with them and just read the book with them."

於是她說："沒關係，坐下來和他們一起讀這本書吧"

And I looked and I'm like, "Are you sure?"

我看了看，然後問："你確定嗎？"

And she said, "Yeah, just just sit down and read the book with them."

她說，"是啊，就坐下來和他們一起看書吧"

I'm like, "Okay, I mean, if I get paid to do this, sure."

我想，"好吧，我是說，如果我做這個能拿到錢，當然可以"。

So I I sat down with the with the uh students, and it was they were it was stressful too because I didn't know what half of the terminology or anything was in the books.

是以，我和學生們坐在一起，他們也很緊張，因為我不知道書中的術語或任何東西是什麼。

And I would sit down there I'm like, "Okay, I'm here to tutor you."

我就坐下來，說 "好吧，我是來輔導你的"

They're like, "Well, how do you do this?" and I I just tell them the truth, "I have no idea, I'm going to read the book with you."

他們會問："那你是怎麼做到的？" 我就實話實說："我不知道，我要和你一起讀這本書。"

And they thought I was joking.

他們還以為我在開玩笑。

And so we literally sat and read the book together, and I found myself reading the algebra books, reading the geometry books, reading the calculus books, reading the statistics books.

就這樣，我們坐在一起看書，我發現自己在讀代數書、幾何書、微積分書和統計書。

Literally reading and studying and I thank Jane Pinkerton because had she not hired me into that role, I would not have graduated.

我感謝簡-平克頓，因為如果不是她聘用我擔任這個職務，我就不會畢業。

Top five out of a 6,500 graduate in class.

在全班 6,500 名畢業生中排名前五。

It was because I sat down and worked with those students, I had when I overcome my own fear.

正是因為我坐下來與這些學生一起工作，我才克服了自己的恐懼。

It was when I was working with someone else and recognizing that the person next to me.

當我和別人一起工作時，我意識到我旁邊的那個人。

Was the exact mirror of myself, and as if as I could help that person right next to me.

他就是我自己的一面鏡子，就像我能幫助身邊的那個人一樣。

I was helping myself at the same time.

我同時也在幫助自己。

And it became this teamwork.

這就變成了團隊合作。

Every single person on the campus needed mathematics.

校園裡的每個人都需要數學。

And so I got a chance to know everybody on campus, became one of the most popular people because everyone needed mathematics, and that confidence that was built from taking something that I failed at before.

是以，我有機會認識了校園裡的每一個人，成為了最受歡迎的人之一，因為每個人都需要數學。

And shifting my thinking about it and embracing it.

轉變我的想法，接受它。