You were a bully growing up!

That was so long ago!

I would never do that now.

Stu, I'm asking you to!

So you need me to get mean?

Yes, I need you to get anonymous YouTube commenter mean.

Okay, let's do this.

Dale?

The fail whale.

Dan?

Dandruff.

Del?

Dull.

Drew?

Droopy Drew.

Eric?

Erection.

Gus?

Gassy Gus.

Harry?

You really haven't said these out loud until now have you?

Hairy back, hairy ears, hairy balls.

Okay, got it, um...

Jack?

Jack off.

Jake?

It's a joke.

Lou? Lucas? Matt?

Loser, mucus, fat.

Richard?

You mean Dick?

And I would cross off Willy, Peter, Johnson if those are on your list as well.

They are not.

Well, that's good.

All right.

Oh how about Ritter?

It means chivalrous!

Oh that's good!

Yeah, you can't make fun of that.

Really?

Quitter, bitter, primarily shitter—come on!

Ryan?

Is crying.

Simon?

Is simple.

Tim?

Is dim.

Zach?

Is a sad-sack, held-back, dental-plaque, asthma-attack hack.

Come on, give me more!

This is fun!

That's it.

Really?

Well, now what?

I guess we name him Stu after you.

Actually, that's a great idea!

It's perfect!

Little Stu, goodnight Stu!

Goodnight Stu.

Congratulations, Mrs. Pitt, you've had twins!

Oh, fuck.