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So, some days ago, the big German tabloid newspaper “Bild” published an article about just how badly-behaved the Brits are when they go on holiday.
Apparently, we drink too much, grope women, and get sunburnt.
Outraged at all these lazy stereotypes, the British press decided to hit back with some lazy stereotypes about the Germans.
So I thought it would be a good idea to take just a few of these and examine them a little more closely.
I’ve chosen five.
Germans always lay their towels on the sun-loungers in order to reserve them before anyone else can get to the pool.
At least one study has confirmed that, in fact, yes,
the Germans really are more likely to do this than anyone else.
But do you know who came second?
The British.
Germans have no sense of humour.
I’ve made a couple of videos explaining this one, and no matter how clearly I state that yes, in fact Germans do have a sense of humour,
I’m regularly accused by Germans of saying the exact opposite.
Yes, the Germans have a sense of humour: of course they do!
It’s just that humour is a product of culture, and so the British simply don’t understand the German sense of humour.
Germans don’t know how to enjoy themselves.
The British have this view of the Germans as being well-behaved, strait-laced,boring, unable to have fun or enjoy themselves.
This is probably because, outside of London,
most British people's experience of German tourists to Britain is of retired couples going to Cornwall touring the settings of the books by Rosamund Pilcher,
which are very popular among that age group in Germany.
In fact, these people are enjoying themselves; just without the need to get senselessly drunk first.
But if you try some of the Mediterranean resorts, like the Platja de Palma on Majorca,
you’ll find lots of young Germans getting just as stupidly drunk as the British twelve miles down the road in Magaluf.
Germans can’t cook.
There’s some irony about this one, because the Germans say that it’s the British who can’t cook.
Well in fact, German cuisine is as varied and interesting as any other cuisine:
it’s not all just potatoes and cabbage.
What about all the different types of fish that you can get in the north of Germany?
Or, if you’re in the south, how about...
Swabian Maultaschen? Sort of pasta, stuffed with meat and spinach.
Or how about... grilled chicken?
Onion tart? Or...pork tenderloin in a mushroom and pepper sauce served with fried potatoes and salad?
Germans think Mr.Bean is funny.
Actually, that one is true.
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so please don’t send me parcels or packages,
or anything that must be signed for.