TO BE A DOCTOR. I KNEW IT!

>>WELL THAT'S GREAT MALLORY. WHAT DOES IT SAY IN THE DESCRIPTION?

>>UM, IT SAYS, "86 PERCENT MATCH. "THAT I ENJOY HELPING "PEOPLE AND I HAVE

A STRONG INTEREST IN LEARNING."

[CHIMES] >>COOL, AFRICA SAFARI GUIDE. [CHIMES] >>DOLPHIN TRAINER!

AWESOME. [CHIMES] >>SEWAGE WORKER.

OH MAN. MY DAD WAS RIGHT.

>>NOW REMEMBER, THESE TESTS DON'T PREDICT THE FUTURE THEY

JUST REFLECT YOUR INTERESTS. >>YOU'RE INTERESTED IN SEWAGE?

>>WELL, NO MORE THAN OTHER PEOPLE. >>I'M NOT INTERESTED AT ALL.

>>OKAY MAYBE A LITTLE MORE THAN OTHER PEOPLE, BUT NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE IT MY CAREER.

>>WELL WHAT DOES THE DESCRIPTION SAY? >>UM...

>>99 PERCENT MATCH. YOU ENJOY SEWAGE.

>>UH, ENJOY IS A STRONG WORD OKAY? I DON'T WANT TO WORK IN SOCIETY'S SEWERS.

I MEAN, CAN YOU IMAGINE TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY?

>>NO WORRIES, THIS SAYS YOU PROBABLY WON'T HAVE KIDS.

>>WHAT? THAT IS OFFENSIVE TO ALL SEWAGE WORKERS.

>>OH, NOT BECAUSE OF YOUR JOB. IT'S JUST YOU'RE NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE.

>>WOW THAT THING IS REALLY ACCURATE. >>ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S IT. I'M CHANGING SOME ANSWERS.

[CHIMES] >>OH LIBRARIAN! I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE.

[CHIMES] >>WHAT DOES IT SAY THIS TIME MATT?

>>ASSISTANT METER MAID. APPARENTLY I DON'T QUALIFY FOR A HEAD METER

MAID POSITION, BUT ACCORDING TO THIS I'M A GOOD MATCH FOR

THE JOB BECAUSE MY BODY WILL FIT EASILY INTO THE TINY METER

MAID CARS. >>MAN, THIS THING REALLY KNOWS US.

>>NO IT DOESN'T KNOW ME! ALL RIGHT?

I'M GOING TO BE SUCCESSFUL. RUN MY OWN BUSINESS AND BE MY OWN BOSS.

[CHIMES] >>MINE JUST SAYS, "MATT'S BOSS."

OH NO! DOES THAT MEAN I'M GOING TO BE IN CHARGE

OF THE SEWER PEOPLE? >>SEWAGE WORKERS ADAM!

WHICH I'M NOT GOING TO BE EITHER. I'M JUST CLARIFYING.

I AM GOING TO BE A... [CHIMES] >>SKETCH COMEDIAN,

IS THAT A REAL JOB? >>NO.

>>THIS IS AWFUL. [CHIMES] >>MINE SAYS FOREST RANGER!

[CHIMES] >>NEGLIGENT MAN WHO STARTS FOREST FIRES?

>>OKAY, YOU'RE A MONSTER MATT! >>NO!

STACEY! COME ON!

WHO WOULD DO THAT FOR A LIVING? >>I DON'T KNOW, HOW ABOUT A CLAN

OF SEWAGE PEOPLE! >>NO!

I AM BARELY INTERESTED IN THE SEWERS, ALL RIGHT?

HERE I WILL JUST CHANGE MY ANSWERS UNTIL SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS.

[CHIMES] HIGH SCHOOL MASCOT UNDER STUDY. WOW.

[CHIMES] SPOTTED OWL POACHER. [CHIMES] WEIRD MALE SECRETARY.

WHY COULDN'T IT JUST SAY SECRETARY? >>NOW, REMEMBER MATT, THIS DOESN'T DETERMINE

YOUR FUTURE. YOU CAN STILL BE WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO BE.

>>BUT THIS THING SPECIFICALLY SAYS THAT I'M AVERAGE.

[CHIMES] >>BELOW AVERAGE. >>NO MATTER HOW I ANSWER, IT KNOWS I'M NOT

CAPABLE OF DOING THINGS. WHAT PLACE IS THERE IN THIS WORLD FOR A MAN

WHO IS GROSSLY UNQUALIFIED?

[CHIMES] POLITICIAN.