>>YEAH.

>>IT'S THE CUSTODY CASE.

>>OH YES.

REMIND ME THE DETAILS.

>>UH, A DIVORCED COUPLE ARE FIGHTING OVER CUSTODY

OF THEIR DAUGHTER THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

>>ALL RIGHT.

SEND THEM IN.

>>OKAY, WILL DO.

>>TAKE A SEAT AND TALK TO ME.

>>YOUR HONOR, I WANT MY DAUGHTER BACK.

SHE'S BEEN AT HER HOUSE FOR THE LAST SIX YEARS.

>>AND BEFORE THAT EIGHT YEARS AT YOUR HOUSE.

>>YEAH, AFTER EIGHT WITH YOU!

>>AND 12 WITH YOU!

>>I'M SORRY, HOW OLD IS SHE?

>>225.

>>THAT'S-- THAT'S VERY YOUNG FOR A COUNTRY.

>>STILL OLD ENOUGH TO DECIDE FOR HERSELF RIGHT?

WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE WITH KID?

>>I'M USUALLY PRETTY ANNOYED WITH WHOEVER

I'M WITH AT THE MOMENT.

SO...

>>WANT TO CHOOSE DAD HONEY?

LOW TAXES, LOW SPENDING.

>>OH, WHAT ABOUT MOMMY DEAR?

HIGH TAXES, HIGH SPENDING!

>>COOL.

OH.

>>SHE DOES THAT.

>>WELL YOU CAN'T JUST LET HER CHERRY PICK.

THINK ABOUT HER FUTURE.

>>OH!

I HATE THAT WORD!

>>FUTURE?

>>IT'S OKAY BABY.

THE FUTURE IS NOT REAL.

OKAY?

MOMMY WILL LET YOU HAVE ALL THE DEBT THAT YOU WANT.

>>AND AT DADDY'S HOUSE POLLUTION IS TOTALLY COOL.

>>NO, NO, NO.

SHE IS PLAYING YOU OFF EACH OTHER TO GET ANY

BAD THING SHE WANTS!

>>WELL WHAT DO YOU MEAN ANY BAD THING?

OKAY?

WHAT ABOUT THIS HEALTH CARE APP I HAVE, HUH?

OH, IT WON'T LOAD.

>>HA!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

>>OH, GO START A WAR SOMEWHERE.

>>YEAH, WELL GO HUG A TREE!

>>OH, GO MELT AN ICE CAP!

>>DONE!

>>OH!

>>STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!

NOW WE NEED A REMINDER OF GEORGE WASHINGTON'S FAREWELL--

>>HONEY-- >>HONEY--

YOU NEED TO PAY ATTENTION.

>>I'M SORRY.

YOU'RE LAME.

>>LAME?

I FOUGHT IN THE REAGAN REVOLUTION!

>>THAT IS NOT A REAL REVOLUTION.

>>THEN HOW COME I HAVE SO MANY GUNS?

>>NO, I MEANT YOUR BOTH LAME.

>>WELL, BUT I WAS THE ONE WHO OCCUPIED WALL STREET!

>>YEAH, WELL I DIDN'T NEED TO OCCUPY IT BECAUSE I WORK THERE.

>>OH YEAH.

WELL, THANKS FOR THE MARKET CRASH.

>>YEAH, WELL EUROPE CALLED, THEY WANT THEIR POLICIES BACK.

>>OH, 1850 CALLED THEY WANT THEIRS!

>>1850 DIDN'T HAVE A PHONE!

>>YOU DON'T GET METAPHORS.

>>STOP BICKERING!

THIS GIRL NEEDS A STRONG FAMILY.

CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?

>>WAIT WHOA!

WE HAVE FAMILIES.

>>YEAH, WE REMARRIED.

>>HONEY?

>>HEY!

>>ANOTHER LEFT-WING LIBERAL CONSPIRACY--

>>GOOD EVENING YOUR HONOR, SENATE REPUBLICANS--

>>NO, NO.

GET OUT.

RIGHT NOW.

BOTH OF YOU.

NOT YOU TWO.

SIT DOWN.

NOW WE'RE NOT LEAVING UNTIL WE CAN AGREE ON SOMETHING.

OKAY?

>>LIKE?

>>LIKE WHAT SHOULD WE GIVE THE POOR?

>>NOTHING.

>>HANDOUTS.

>>SO YOU AGREE THEY SHOULD STAY POOR.

>>YES.

>>LOOK AT THAT.

WHAT ELSE CAN WE AGREE ON?

>>WELL I WOULD LIKE A GIANT FENCE ALL ALONG

THE SOUTHERN BORDER.

>>AND I WANT LEGALIZED DRUGS.

>>SO FENCE WITH HOLES IN IT?

>>YEAH.

THAT WOULD WORK.

>>YEAH, SURE.

>>LOOK AT THAT.

YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH SO MUCH WHEN YOU WORK TOGETHER!

>>WELL, I HAVE TO ADMIT I THINK WE'VE GOT TO A GOOD PLACE.

>>YEAH, THINGS HAVE DEFINITELY EVOLVED.

>>THAT'S NOT A THING!

>>[LAUGHTER] THIS GUY.

>>MOMMY IS A COMMIE!

>>NO!

STOP IT!

STOP IT!

YOU ARE SO IMMATURE.

YOU ARE SO IMMATURE.

>>DO I NEED TO SEPARATE YOU TWO?

>>OH HI U.S.A.

HEARD YOU'VE BEEN HAVING SOME FAMILY PROBLEMS

AND I THOUGHT MAYBE WE SHOULD GET BACK TOGETHER.

>>STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER.

[GUN COCKS] >>GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!