Hi there. It’s Marie Forleo and this is MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

and a life that you love and this today is Q&A Tuesday. And today’s question, it comes

from Laura and she writes:

“Hello Marie, I could go on forever about how much your work gives me little soul bumps

that make me wanna change. And while change usually comes along with pain, your advice

creates a state in which I feel comfortable, alive, and just willing to live my adventure.”

Awesome! “Here’s my Q. I consider myself a highly intuitive and caring person. People

trust me. I’m passionate about my life and my work and I’m currently back at uni for

my next career. While studying I still have my full time office job where people are constantly

stressed out. It’s like they’re at war. They’re getting sick and often treat each

other in a grumpy, unloving, and uncooperative way. My problem is I can only take negative

vibes for so long, then I lose contact with my fearless and loving self. My stomach hurts

and my breathing stops feeling natural. What can I do to not let a bad atmosphere get me

out of balance? Meditation, good food, and enough sleep just don't seem to do it. Thanks, Laura.”

Laura, this is an awesome question. You know, there is a lot of pain in the world and sometimes

it’s our own. We can get angry, we can feel disappointed, we can feel like things are

falling apart. You know, and other times it’s other people’s pain, like the pain that

you’re experiencing at work or maybe you watch the news and you see all of the war

and injustice in the world. So pain and suffering is a part of our life. Now, the good news

is that you don't have to let it overwhelm you and it doesn't have to force you to lose

contact with the core essence of who you are. So I wanna teach you this very simple and

profound practice that I learned in my yoga class and it’s something that you can do

on the spot any time that you feel like the pain gets to be too much.

It’s the Buddhist meditation practice called Tonglen. This is super simple and super powerful.

Plus it’s dual action, so it can help you heal your own pain and simultaneously heal

the energetic vibe around you.

So here’s how it works. When you’re feeling pain or you’re witnessing pain around you,

you breathe in the pain, you inhale it. So if it’s your own pain you want to remind

yourself, millions of other people are experiencing this right now just like you are. So whether

you’re afraid, you’re insecure, you’re upset, remember millions of other people are

experiencing that same pain as well.

Now, if it’s other people’s pain that you’re witnessing, same thing applies.

You wanna remind yourself that tons of people all around the world are experiencing that

pain as well. The point is you wanna inhale the pain for everyone, you wanna breathe it in.

Now, when you exhale you say something really simple like, “May we all be free of this

suffering.” And the exhale is really about breathing out and sending everyone a sense

of comfort and happiness and well being. What I love about this practice is that it’s

so simple and  you can do it anywhere and you can do it as many times as you need to.

So if you find yourself on the street overwhelmed with pain, you can do it right there. You

can do it in your office and you can even do it in your home. It really, really helps.

First because it’s a way to be fully present with the pain and the suffering that actually

exists, yours and the world’s. You’re not denying it, you’re not ignoring it,

and, most importantly, you’re recognizing that it’s universal. And the second reason

I love it is because it helps you to keep your heart soft and deepen your compassion

and stay connected to your humanity. And I really love what the Dalai Lama says about

it, because he does this practice every day.

“Whether this meditation really helps others or not, it gives me peace of mind. Then I

can be more effective, and the benefit is immense.”

Finally, if you want to take this to the next level here is some advanced Tonglen. Do this

meditation on people that really trigger you, people that you don't like, or people that

piss you off, or people that you feel have caused you pain. Just imagine them having

the same type of confusion and upset that you sometimes have. So you breathe in that

pain and you breathe out a genuine hope for their peace and well being.

You know, I think the thing that I love about this most, besides the fact that it’s so

simple, is that it trains us to do the opposite of what most of us want to do, which is to

get over our pain or get away from it or not look at it. It actually helps us to be courageous

and compassionate, especially when we need it most.

So let’s land this plane on a Tweetable.

“When you wish you could turn off the pain, tune into it instead.”

That was my A to your Q, Laura, I really hope it helps. Now I would love to hear from you.

Do you have a personal practice that helps you deal with pain and suffering in a more loving and compassionate way? I would love to know about it.

As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, so go

there and leave a comment now.

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Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special

gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.