年輕的德古拉 - BBC系列 - 第1季第1集 "當你是一個陌生人" (Young Dracula - BBC Series - Season 1 Ep 1 "When You're A Stranger")

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VLADIMIR: All my life I've wanted
to fit in, to be ordinary.
So I thought moving to a new town
would be my chance, my chance to be normal.
But I was forgetting one little thing.
I'm a vampire.
-I'm we should have taken a left back there.
-Can you stop breathing in my face?
You can't have brushed your teeth for weeks.
Am I the only one gagging here?
I can't believe we have to speak this stupid language.
-We've got to keep a low profile.
-And why did we have to move anyway?
-Please be quiet, Mistress Ingrid.
I'm trying to read the map.
-Don't tell me to be quiet, insect biter.
-All right.
That is it.
-Don't you touch me, you fungus.
-Brat.
-Creep.
RENFIELD: Witch.
INGRID: Pus face.
VLAD: Turn right.
RENFIELD: Can't do it.
Crescent freak.
Fart breath.
INGRID: Spider licker.
-Scab picker.
-Snot eater.
COUNT DRACULA: (ANGRILY) Renfield!
What exactly is going on?
-Sorry for disturbing you, Master.
-Silence!
-Ingrid wants Renfield to turn the hearse
around and go back to Transylvania.
-Oh, you do, do we now?
And what about the angry torch-wielding
Tryansylvanian peasant mob, hm?
Would you like to go back to them, too?
[angry yelling]
-Yeah, well, better going back to face
them than living in this dump.
I mean, look at it.
It's so normal.
-Normal.
That's just what I was thinking.
ELIZABETH: Robin!
Robin!
Robin!
-Face it, mum.
You did a good job with me and Paul.
-And me.
-Three out of four ain't bad.
-It's just unfortunate you also had a weirdo goth child.
-Ian, this isn't funny.
He hasn't come out of his room all morning.
-PAUL: And that's a bad thing?
-If he doesn't come out, no one's going camping.
-Hey, nut job!
Open up!
-Ah!
RENFIELD: Can I proceed now, Master?
-Yes, yes.
-Good.
It smells like a zombie's armpit in here.
I thought so.
It's Vlad's stupid stuffed dog.
-Hey, he's not a dog.
He's a wolf.
And he doesn't smell.
-Well, actually, Master Vlad, I do smell a bit.
My sawdust seems to have got a little damp in transit.
COUNT DRACULA: Renfield, drive.
What is that?
-Home sweet home.
Maybe Dad should go on a diet.
COUNT DRACULA: I heard that.
Well, here we are at last.
Hmm.
It's not exactly what I was expecting.
I mean, where are the cobwebs?
The damp?
The rotting corpses?
-Look, Dad, you just said find a castle.
It was the best I could find on the internet at short notice.
COUNT DRACULA: Well, I suppose I might feel
better when I've had someone to eat.
-All right.
I'll get my things.
Bagsie the tower room.
INGRID: Uhh, I don't think so.
I'm the eldest.
I'm having that one.
-But I called it.
-When?
VLAD: In the hearse.
-Right.
Well, I called it before you were born.
So kiss my cape.
COUNT DRACULA: Please, this is very simple.
Vladimir will have the room.
-Brilliant.
Oh, Ingrid, I do believe you were about to chew on that.
-This is because he's your favorite, isn't it?
-Yes, that's right.
INGRID: I hate you more than garlic.
COUNT DRACULA: She is so much like her mother.
Ugh.
In the attic.
RENFIELD: Yes, Master.
-Behind some boxes.
RENFIELD: Yes, Master.
COUNT DRACULA: Under a sheet.
-Thanks, dad.
-Oh, Vladimir.
There's no need to thank me.
You are the son and heir of the Dracula family.
So you're right, you should have the best room.
-Well, actually, I only wanted the tower room
because I thought I might get a TV,
and the reception is better up there.
-Arrgh!
[low rumbling noise] -Time to meet the neighbors.
-Not juicy enough, go away.
-A TV?
A TV?
If you want to see moving pictures,
Vladimir, run around the portrait gallery.
Does he think he's living in the 19th century?
ZOLTAN: Of course not, Master Vladimir,
the Count thinks he's living in the 17th century.
He's a few hundred years behind everyone else.
-I hate being a vampire.
It really sucks.
-Hmm, isn't that rather the point?
-I just hoped this move will be a new start for us,
you know, a chance to be a bit less--
-Vampiric?
-Exactly.
Come on.
Take a look at this.
See?
Semi-detached houses, streetlights, a newsagent,
a golf course, it's all so normal.
Right.
New life, new neighborhood.
Time to check 'em both out.
ZOLTAN: But Vladimir, your father
has forbidden us from leaving the castle.
We need to keep a low profile.
-Zoltan, I'm a preteen vampire.
That means I've got the reflexes of a night hunter combined
with the incredible ability to sneak
up behind my parents' back.
[sighing]
-Mmm.
Ingrid.
How's the grand sulk going?
-I've decided I'm going to go live with mum.
-Ingrid.
Your mother's dead.
-You're dead.
We're all dead.
-Still can't go and live with her.
-You're just mad because she left you for a werewolf.
-She did not leave me for a werewolf.
We mutually agreed to separate.
-After she met a werewolf.
-Vladimir keeps the room.
It's his birthright.
-And what's my birthright?
-I don't know.
Cleaning my capes?
Housework?
Something like that.
I haven't really given it much thought.
-I hope you get some really painful
splinters from your coffin.
-Ah!
-Renfield.
My stomach tells me it's lunch time.
Time to sample a local peasant.
-Now, Master, promise you won't be angry.
-No, I like being angry.
-Promise you won't hurt me.
-Again, not a commitment I feel I can make.
-We, um, we may have a food problem.
-What sort of problem?
RENFIELD: Sort of, we don't have any problem.
-(ANGRILY) What do you mean?
-I thought you wanted to keep a low profile
so I turned a peasant away.
COUNT DRACULA: Arrgh!
RENFIELD: And what with the driving and map reading
and the cobweb hanging, I didn't have time
to stock up with any fresh blood.
-Two weeks from Transylvania and all I've had to eat
is some black pudding in a motorway services.
It's not good enough.
I need a juicy peasant or at least a steak!
-Steak?
-Hmm.
Extremely rare.
RENFIELD: Don't worry, Master.
I'll think of something.
-Going somewhere?
-Yeah, just popping out.
COUNT DRACULA: Ow, ow ow, ow!
You're not going anywhere, young vampire.
Go to your room.
-But Dad.
-Ooh.
Ah!
-You know which room is yours, don't you?
It's the one that should be mine.
RENFIELD: I'm coming, Master!
-I hate sunlight.
-(SINGING) We're all going on a camping holiday.
Just some tent pegs and a rope or two.
-Dad, you're making strange noises again.
-It's called singing, Robin, people
do it when they're in a good mood.
Oh, sorry, good mood, I hope I'm not confusing you
with my complicated technical jargon.
-Ha-ha.
Small drama inside, we're out of Kendal mint cake.
-What?
We can't have a Branagh family camping
expedition without Kendal mint cake.
This is a disaster.
Elizabeth!
-I wish they'd do
-I'm disappointed in you, son.
I mean, where's this bad attitude coming from?
The cheeriness, the- the optimism.
Ugh, love of the outdoors.
-Dad.
COUNT DRACULA: And the clothes you wear-- why?
Why the bright colors?
Make my eyes hurt.
-It's what kids wear.
-Well, not my kids.
Vladi, come stand here.
This is what we are, son, we're vampires.
What are we?
-Vampires.
-There's no escaping that.
You know, in a few years you'll come into your full powers
and your reflection, like mine, will disappear.
Now, I am going to sort out the food situation.
-Can't we have something normal, like a hamburger?
-Oh.
A person from Hamburg.
-No!
-Vampires.
You can't escape it.
It's your destiny.
Hehe.
[door closing]
-Oh, great.
-Ah!
Cool.
-OK.
No cape.
This is serious.
If I wasn't already undead I'd be dead.
-Look, Master Vlad.
-Shh.
ELIZABETH: Looks like someone's moved into the castle.
-You'd have to be pretty weird to want to live there.
-Mum, we can't find Robin anywhere.
-Where could the weirdo have got to?
-OK.
I'll go and get him.
-Ahhh!
-I got you!
-Thanks.
-Who are you?
-What a good time to have a discussion.
-You rang?
-Sorry to bother you.
RENFIELD: Have you come to donate blood?
-GRAHAM: What?
RENFIELD: The sign.
You going to donate blood?
GRAHAM: No.
Look--
RENFIELD: It's for a good cause.
GRAHAM: What cause?
-Lunch
GRAHAM: No.
I'm here because-- did you just say lunch?
-Uhh, no, got a cough.
COUNT DRACULA: Who is it?
-Some local peasant, Master.
-I beg your pardon?
-Oh, well done Renfield.
So nice to see you, peasant.
Do come in.
-OK.
But first, I'm not a peasant.
And can you stop staring at me like that?
-Like what?
-You sure you haven't come to donate blood?
-Yes.
-Oh, just flirting with us, were you?
Well, sling your hook.
-Sling your hook?
That was a 10 pint delivery.
-He said he didn't want to give blood.
Ah!
-They never want to give blood.
That's why I've got these.
Aaaghh!
-This is like a horror film.
You know, one by one up to the castle never to return?
-Though he is going to return, isn't he?
-He's probably talking to them about the plumbing,
you know what he's like.
Maybe someone should go up and get him.
She can't go by herself.
-Right.
Oh, you mean us.
Come on, Paul.
-Shall I bite him, Master?
-Not yet.
INGRID: Right, Vlad, you rancid little worm.
-Quick!
Hide, hide!
INGRID: Ah!
Here you are in my room.
-It's not your room.
[sniffing]
-What's that smell?
VLAD: Smell?
What smell?
Can you smell a smell, Zoltan?
-No, Master Vlad.
Only your sister's cheap perfume.
-Shut it, four wheels.
I can smell something different, something rather, uhh, aha!
VLAD: No!
-I can't wait to tell Dad about this.
-I can explain.
INGRID: Oh yeah.
-Climbed in through the window, nothing to do with me.
-A massive pile of dirty laundry climbed in through the window.
-What?
-Where'd he go?
INGRID: Who?
The dirty sock fairy?
-Uhh, yeah.
INGRID: You're such a loser.
VLAD: Zoltan, did you see where that boy went?
ZOLTAN: Unfortunately, I was distracted
by the sawdust running down my left side.
-We better find him before Dad does.
-Please, Master, take it out.
No, Renfield.
COUNT DRACULA: It's important that you
know why you are being punished.
RENFIELD: Is it because I smell?
-No.
Well you do, but no, that's not the reason.
-Is it because I picked m nose and ate it?
-No.
RENFIELD: After going to the loo without washing my hands?
-No.
Ughh.
But no.
The reason you're being punished is because I'm hungry!
In fact I'm starving and when I'm starving I get nasty.
-And that's what you put a tarantula down my shirt?
-Correct.
And also because I like watching you squirm.
-Ah.
Ahh, I think she's just gone down my trousers.
-Shh.
Quiet.
I sense an intruder.
There is a human in the castle.
-A human, Master?
COUNT DRACULA: Yes.
Well a human who doesn't smell of mouse droppings.
[sniffing]
COUNT DRACULA: Mmm.
I smell young blood.
Right.
Where are you?
Hmm?
So close.
So very close.
Heh heh.
Come to Daddy.
VLAD: Daddy?
Can I have a word?
COUNT DRACULA: Not you.
I'm trying to find dinner!
VLAD: Well, it's just I think I've got my first fang.
-A fang?
Oh my boy!
Let me have a look.
Hmm.
I can't see anything.
Never mind, my favorite child.
INGRID: Nurture him why don't you?
You just hate me because I'm a girl.
COUNT DRACULA: No.
I hate you because you're really annoying.
-Oops.
INGRID: Right.
[squishing]
-Oh, Master.
I've sat on your tarantula.
COUNT DRACULA: Imelda!
No!
-(WHISPERING) Come on.
[whimpering]
-Imelda!
-If it's any consolation, Master,
she wouldn't have felt a thing.
-Except your huge bottom squishing her.
-(SARCASTICALLY) Hello, we haven't been
properly introduced.
My name's Vlad.
And, oh, you must be the kid who just climbed in
through my window and started wandering around.
-Robin.
I brought your cloak back.
-Oh, thanks.
What are you doing?
-Aren't you going to bite me?
-Bite you?
Why would I want to bite you?
-You can if you want.
-No!
-Oh, OK.
-You're lucky my dad didn't find you.
You've got no idea what he's capable of.
ROBIN: I know exactly what he's capable of.
You're vampires, aren't you?
-Haha.
Don't be ridiculous.
What a silly idea.
-Talking wolf?
Blood thirsty dad?
First fang?
-Oh bats, I knew this would happen.
Please don't get an angry mob and drive us out of town.
-I think you're underestimating suburban apathy.
Anyway, vampires are awesome.
VLAD: Awesome?
-I know everything there is to know about them.
Or at least I thought I did.
How come you got a reflection?
-Well, we don't come into our full powers
until our sixteenth birthday.
So I've got a reflection.
I can't turn into a bat and I don't bite people.
-Really?
-I don't get burnt by sunlight and I
have no adversary reaction to garlic either.
-You know, for my first vampire, you're not
coming across as very--
-Vampiric?
Can I say for my first normal kid
you're not coming across very--
-Normal?
INGRID: First fang?
You scrawny little scab.
Talking to yourself, you little freak?
-My darling sister, how nice of you
to rudely walk in without knocking.
-Stick a stake in it.
[sniffing]
-Ahh, yes, my socks.
How did that get there?
-Hello.
-What are you playing at?
You know we're not supposed to mix with breathers.
What if he found out that we're--
-Vampires?
-Yes!
Hang on, he knows.
-Yes, and it's fine.
He's promised not to tell.
-Oh.
He's promised.
Oh, that's fine then.
Listen to me, meat face, swear by all that is morbidly evil
not to tell anyone about us on pain
of a long and gruesome death.
-You're very pretty.
-Yes, I am.
Now swear.
-I swear.
INGRID: Good.
Now let's get you out of here before my father decides
to have you for dinner and us for dessert.
VLAD: Thanks, Ingrid.
--[scoffs] Oh, you don't think I'm saving this stinking
blood bag just be nice do you?
Oh no.
You and I are going to have a little conversation
about room allocation.
-OK.
Give us our dad and brother back.
Nah, too confrontational.
Have you seen a man in sensible waterproof clothing
and a weird-looking goth child?
-Look, are you going to knock or not?
-Yeah, you know, I'm just getting ready to knock.
CHLOE: Uggh. PAUL: You do the talking.
IAN: No you.
-Yes?
-Uhh.
-Have you seen anyone wandering around here with a cloak?
-Yeah, loads.
But I presume you want this one.
Now get lost.
-You're quite rude, aren't you?
-It's my thing, deal with it.
-See you then, Robin.
-Yeah.
Come to mine if you fancy it any time.
Number 22 down the hill.
VLAD: Oh, thanks.
Oh, hey.
Maybe you can do me a favor.
Get these things for me?
-Sure.
-So will we be seeing you again?
-Perhaps.
IAN: Catch you later.
-I can't believe you were so dumb.
Do you have any idea what Dad would have done
if he caught us talking to those breathers?
-Cut our allowance?
-And our throats.
-Oh, I think you underestimate me, my darling children.
-Split up, then perhaps one of us will live.
[sighing]
-Come on.
Let's find dad.
[snoring]
COUNT DRACULA: Mixing with zombies
I could forgive, understand even, but breathers!
Socializing with possible dinner ingredients.
-Dad, we don't want to be driven out again.
Perhaps we should be blending in more.
More blending, less biting.
Then maybe we won't have angry mobs storming the castle.
COUNT DRACULA: Ah, now that, that
was the result of a small misunderstanding
between me and the village elders.
-You drained their blood.
-Well, right.
A big misunderstanding.
-Here's a radical idea, how about
actually being friends with our neighbors?
COUNT DRACULA: Friends?
With our neighbors?
[chatting]
-Huh.
Right, that's it.
Definitely no contact.
Just go to your rooms!
-Talking of rooms, we're swapping.
COUNT DRACULA: Nobody is swapping
rooms without my permission.
In fact, from now on nobody does anything without my permission.
Now get out of my sight!
You're a disgrace.
I think sometimes the boy hates me.
-You could always kill him.
-Not helpful, Renfield.
[knocking]
-OK, Master.
-No one there, but I found this on the doorstep.
It's for Master Vlad.
-Well, open it.
Something called a Juice-A-Tron 3000.
Ah!
And some steaks.
-Mmm.
[sniffs]
-Oh, Vladimir.
Vladimir, I-- I wanted to say thank you for the meat.
If I had a working heart it would have been touched.
Vladimir.
Vladimir?
[gasp]
-Vladimir.
Vladimir!
-(TELEVISION) But these bats that live in the wild here,
we'll see them hiding in--
VLAD: Hey, Robin.
-Wow.
You flew up to my window.
-Um, no.
I climbed up.
-Oh.
Are you sure you're a vampire and not a burglar?
-Yes, Robin.
-So what happened to the camping trip?
-Cancelled.
My dad keeps falling asleep for some reason.
-It will wear off.
ROBIN: Oh, great.
Well, I'll go get some drinks.
-A cup of blood, a little bit of milk.
Joke.
So this is what my room should look like.
[tapping]
-Ah!
COUNT DRACULA: You're lucky I don't drop you.
-D- Dad!
[screaming]
-My neighbor's a vampire.
Excellent!
[thunder]