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Anybody in this theater who thinks they might be offended by explicit sexual discussion?
Please leave the theatre now and come back at the end of my talk.
You can’t say you weren’t warned.
I dated younger men. The two men in their twenties and so I have sex with younger men.
And so having sex with younger men, I encountered not with all the men I date but with a number.
What happens when total freedom of access to hard-core pornography online meets our reluctance as a society to talk
Openly and honestly about sex. And results in porn therefore the coming by default the sex education of today.
Not a good thing.
So when I realize this and nearly four years ago, I launched at Ted 2009 a website put up a new money very basic, very clinking.
At make love not porn dot com. The post the mix of hardcore porn and balance of them with the reality.
The construct is porn world, real-world. This is what happens in the porn world.
This is what really happens in the real world.
I was very straightforward in my Ted talk. As one torturer said it was the first time the words comment my face.
Having heard on the Ted’s stage six times in session.
My talk went viral and the response has been absent extraordinary ever since.
And the most extraordinary thing separate from very high traffic to the site.
From every country in the world with zero promotion from me.
Has been that every single day for the past nearly four years.
I get emails to my make love not porn inbox.
And I get them from young people and older people. I get them from men and women.
Make love not porn is a chance to equal proposition.
Girls watch porn too. They’re just as influenced by porn as default sex education as boys.
From gay and straight, for all around the world.
And what amazes people is the fact that I stood on stage and talk about.
And I’m doing something about what everybody knows and no one ever speaks about.
And so people feel able to tell me anything. They pour their hearts out to an email.
They tell me things about the sex lies in the porn watching habits that they never told anybody else before.
And those emails overtime began making me feel that I had a responsibility to take make love not porn forward
In a way that will make it much more far-reaching helpful and effective.
Make love not porn is not anti-porn. The issue I’m tacking is not porn.
I’m tackling the total lack in our society offer open healthy honest conversation around sex and porn.
Which then enable amongst many other benefits
People to bring the real world mindset to the viewing of what’s the century artificial entertainment.
Our tack line is pro sex, pro porn, pro knowing the difference.
And make love not porn entire message brought down to talk about it.
And that’s because we all get very vulnerable when we get naked.
Sexual egos are very fragile. People find it bizarrely difficult to talk about sex with the people that actually having it with while they actually having it.
Because you’re terrified of hurting others person’s feelings, point out a view, derailing the entire encounter.
Derailing the entire relationship. But at the same time you want to please your partner.
You want to make them happy. So you’ll seize your cues on how to do that from anyway you can.
And if it only cues you have are from porn, those are the ones you take to not a very good effect.
So I’m decided that what I want to do is take every dynamic that exists out there in social media currently.
And apply them to the one area that no social media network platform has ever gone or ever dare to go which is sex.
I want to socialize sex. And to make real world sex socially acceptable and therefore adjust the socially sharable and discussable.
As anything else that we currently share and discuss on Facebook, Twitter, Tumbler, Instagram.
So 11 weeks ago I and my two co-funders CTO Cory Enis, user experience got us in the chase
We launched in beta make love not porn dot tv.
Makelovenotpron.tv is a user generated crowd source platform where anybody from anywhere in the world.
One of you can upload and submit videos of yourselves having real world sex.
Having the sex you really have in the real world. And I and my team curate, we review everything.
This is not youporn, pornhub, Xtube. We’re not porn. We’re not ameture. We’re real world sex.
What do I mean by that. Well…real world sex is funny.
If you can’t laugh at yourselves having sex, when can you?
Porn world sex is not funny. Porn is paradise but the sex is deadly ends.
One of the reasons I want to do this is I want to reassure people the same shit happens to all of us.
Because we never talk about it. We go ‘oh my god! That was so excruciating, embarrassing. I never speak about this to anybody ever’
So for example, the total nightmare putting the condom on.
Guys always know how to do the magic. Shhh. As you all know it does not happen like that.
Why it doesn’t happen like that things goes soft juices and strong up encounters get derailed.
Queer things, funny faults. Everyone does. Nothing to be shame of.
We want to category make love not porn dot tv that is sexually equivalent to America funnies home videos.
Because some people film themselves having sex. You never see the outtakes but there’s a market for that.
Imagine the sex equivalent to ‘Charles bit my finger’ which is now have over 450 million views on YouTube.
Imagine the appeal of that in a sex context.
So real world sex is funny. Real world sex is messy.
It also amuses me when people talk about porn is being dirty.
Because porn actually sanitize the sex. In porn, nobody has hair.
You never see anybody using loop even the gallons on set.
You never see any of those nice messy things that happen in real world sex.
So we won’t encounter like period sex. Never see that in porn.
And as a result, unfortunate myth of sprung up for those guys and girls goes ‘wow! Can’t have sex during a period.’
I promise you, you can.
So we invite the hottest most arousing real world sex content that is sex during a period.
Blood everywhere, no big deal. Take the time when I’m with your tit. Whatever turns you on.
Real world sex is responsible. In porn, either, there are no condoms or all of a sudden the condom is on.
Jump cut. They’re having the sex. Where did that come from?
So we invite the hottest most arousing real world sex content that actively compete eroticized condom usage.
What’s the hottest most arousing way you can introduce a condom in to the action?
Put it on. Take it off. Disposes of it.
I have sex with the condoms all the time. I want to watch my kind of sex.
But I particularly want creative ideas for those awkward condom moments that we all go through.
And if more of us having more creative ideas on how to make this awkward condom moment hot and arousing.
There will be a lot more safe sex happening. A lot less STD and a lot less unwanted pregnancies.
So that’s what I mean by real world sex.
And our business model is that we charge you to submit small token of nominal fee.
It’s the local equivalent of US five dollars for submission.
That’s curation fee. It’s also for quality control that screens out spam as crap.
Then we charge you to view, not to download, because we host in stream.
But to rent. So when you click on the video you like, you pay five bucks and you can view it as many times as you like over a three-week period.
And you can show it to anybody else cause it’s in your fiscal sanity of your laptop, your cell phone.
And then we revenue your share. We give you the contributor the make love not porn star we like to call you.
We give you fifty percent of the revenues that you make love not porn.tv content generates.
Which first of all, isn’t an incentive to you to actually promoted through the network share it socially.
And help drama acting for us. And secondly, if we hope one day, we hit critical mass and one day
Your makelovenotporn.tv video could hit the YouTube holy grail of a million rentals at five bucks per rental.
We give you the half revenue you’re laughing. This has the potential to be what we like to call the ‘etsy of sexy’
This is the way you can create your own cottage industry doing what comes naturally, the way it comes naturally.
Which make recession toward economy the world over and with global.
And we hope also be quite appealing proposition
So what my team and I doing is we’re building a platform and tools to be what we call sexual social currency.
We are taking everything that makes Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram so addicted to people.
And apply it to the one air those guys will never go. We have lots of social features that have social functions.
So for example, you’ll be able to curate and put together your own make love not porn .tv playlist.
Just what you do on ITunes and Spotify. And that playlist might be the solitary usage.
So maybe it’s collection of scenes to get you off in 20 seconds every time.
But it could also be the sex equivalent of a mix tape.
So imagine that you become dating this really hot guy or girl.
Your curation put together at makelovenotporn.tv playlist. You send it to them then we have a gifting capability.
And because it’s us, it’s socially okay to do that. And that playlist might just be
Here are some hot stuff to share next time together but it could also be here’s what I’m really into.
This is what I would really like you to do to me.
This is what would actually really make me calm and by send this playlist.
I don’t have to have the actual conversation out loud in words have been forbid, because that’d be really awkward and embarrassing for both of us.
And I can see how you respond and we can take it from there.
Then, we have a system of rating and scoring. So you can rate the content holistically.
But we also have in video timeline scoring.
We’re very interested in which bits of the video you find most hot and compelling.
We are dated sexual in a very different way from the way that Pamilla intended originally.
This platform has a potential one day to be the Kinsey of today.
Real world, real time, real life human sexual behavior.
I could get that nobody else is doing but when it came designing.
That in video timeline scoring system. We have to take the count the fact that getting to amuses me when people talk about watching porn.
Nobody’s watching porn when wonky. This is not entertainment you watch.
It’s the entertain you’re activate to. So we have design an in video timeline and scoring system is very simple.
Easy to use and one handed.
So we have designed our own unit of appreciation. Our version of the Fackbook like is the makelovenotporn.tv yes.
So you score by going yes. Yes yes. Yes yes.
And all you have to do is hit the spacebar. You can do in one hand. You can do it left handed or right handed.
We have a system of badges and stickers like foursquares that reward talent and skills and achievements.
So the first time you contribute you get a newby badge. And we are deliberately designing a mechanism.
To encourage you to push your sexual boundaries.
So the very first time you either view or contribute content outside your normal rail.
You get the explore badge. And all of this builds up your sexual profile on makelovenotporn.tv
Because sex is personality. Who we are sexually is as much part of how we self-identify and self express.
As any other talent skill or trait we currently public to showcase in social media.
And by the way, we also have a category where porn star get to post the sex they have in the off camera in the real world.
Because porn star have real world sex too which is completely different from the sex they have on the camera.
Make love not porn has brought to me many people who reached out saying love what you’re doing, want to help.
Including much to my surprise, when this first began happening, a lot of people in the porn industry.
Specifically generation Y porn. Your generation porn is like your generation anywhere else.
They’re entrepreneurial. They’re ambitious. They’re questioning and challenging the old world and they want to be a part of the new.
Twenty-something porn stars and porn directors reached out to me of their own volition.
Saying we love this initiative. We want to help.
So you’ll see on makelovenotpron.tv, my friend Danny Wylde and Lydia Bow who are twenty-something porn stars and a real-life couple.
Having the sex they really having in a real relationship. My friend Lily Kate who’s a lesbian porn star.
Having a sex, she really has with her real girlfriends.
All of which goes to demonstrate up point that porn is not real world sex.
And we want people to understand the difference.
You have no idea. How extraordinary difficult has been to make this thing to happen.
It took me two years to get makelovenotporn.tv fund it. Very ironic.
I should be every venture capitalists and investors wet dream literally.
I have an idea enabled by technology design this distributed sec worth billions of dollars
In the way that is both socially beneficial and potentially very very lucrative.
But because that sec is porn and the social benefit is sexuality.
Nobody seems to come near me. when I finally found an angel investor to got it and put up the seed funding that we needed.
I’m then couldn’t get my hands on the money for quite a while
Because I couldn’t find a single bank anywhere that would allow me to open a business banking account
For business that has live porn in the name. even though, the business is makelovenotporn.
And even though we have a social mission. And by the way I still can’t
If anybody out there knows anybody who owns the bank and believes our mission.
Seriously, I want to hear from them.
So along the way, many very well-meaning people said to me, Cindy you know, why don’t you change your name of the company
Why don’t you call it something else. That doesn’t have porn in it.
You know…something very ocuous. You know, be hasty about make sure business. It’ll make your life so much easier.
I refuse to do that. Because when you concept a venture around societies’ existing biases and prejudices.
All you do is reinforced them. You heard Michael Tobin quote earlier today.
That all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
It also depends on the unreasonable woman. I’m utterly unreasonable.
I refuse to bow to society’s biases and prejudices. I’m about to change them.
So I’m out to achieve the complete opposite of what Pamilla talk to all of you today.
If I and my team achieve what we want to makelovenotporn.tv. The ultimate glory of success and we’re sitting out on a monumental task with a monumental goal.
But the ultimate glory of success would be that nobody would ever have to be ashamed of having a photograph of them naked
Or sex tapes on the internet again. Because it’s simply a natural human part of who we are.
And I have to tell you also that, you know, although I concept all of this and my team have built on it brilliantly.
I have no real idea of the power potential of what we are doing until we began viewing our first content submissions.
And by the way, on that, you know, people say to me ‘seriously, people actually do this?’
Well…first of all, you are the generation that’s grown up video sharing everything.
Once upon a time, your marriage proposal used to be a very intimate moment for just the two of you.
You wouldn’t have dreamed of videoing it and put it on Facebook.
Even less would you dream to construct an entire flash mob event around it.
Post on YouTube and hoping get millions of views.
And secondly, think about all of the celebrations of relationship crop up in your Facebook timeline everyday.
Think about those engagement announcements, those wedding photos, those lovey-dovey couple things.
All of we’re doing is we’re providing a platform to celebrate that lost air of human relationships that nobody else will let you.
And so as I say it wasn’t until we began viewing the submission we’re getting.
That we really realize the full power potential of what we’re doing.
To paraphrase Malcolm Gladwell earlier today quoting his friend Howard Moskovitz
The mind does not know what the genital’s want.
I can tell you the real world sex is more innovative, more creative, more surprising, more amazing than porn will ever be.
We’re in a private invitation-only beta. That’s because we’re real world testing while we built.
We launched what the tech will cause minimum viable product.
So we testing it out while we add in all the social features I’m talking about.
And so in order to join us, you have to go to makelovenotporn.tv and enter your email address
Sign up and we’ll invite you in.
And we are only at the very start of this process.
But obviously there are people out there commenting on it already who have not therefore seen a eye of our content.
And so whether all negative critiques in the blogosphere.
There’s whole budget comments that goes something like ‘oh who wants to see fat middle-aged people having sex on the bad lighting’
Well first of all, that is not at all represented our content.
But secondly, as my co-founder Innis has says
Isn’t that interesting? When did porn become the gold standard?
And what all of us to do in the real world and squalid and disgusting?
Isn’t that interesting reversal? What we do in the real world, is hotter and more amazing than anything that you will ever see in porn
And as I say we’re only at the start of our journey but essentially we can’t do it without all of you.
We believe that it is possible to change the world toward sex.
So if you believe in us as well, if you would like to see more open, honest, healthy dialogue discussion attitude around sex in our society.
Everywhere in the world. Then please join us. Please sign up to makelovenotporn.tv
Please contribute you own real world sex videos. I’m really really hoping that my own Oxford college some other liens.
I want to really rise up the challenge. Do a sprout and please help us.
You know…embark on this journey. Again, you heard Michael talking about.
His friend Howard and how he celebrating the extraordinary diversity of humanity.
And all the wonderful different things that we know and love that make every single one of use special.
That’s exactly what we’re doing with makelovenotporn.tv and real world sex.
We haven’t even begun to see what that looks like. How wonderful it is.
And what fantastic communication and discussion facilitate that will make all of our sex live and sex experience better.
So if you also believe that we can change the world for sex.
Then please join us at makelovenotporn.tv and help make it happen.
Thank you very much.