where nothing, not even the homecoming goat sacrifice disturbs

the pursuit of knowledge. But under the surface of this placid institute

of higher learning

you'll find mystery after mystery. Just last week

students using the catalog reported a search window claiming

it was lost, begging for help to find Dudley Chapel, which burnt down

in 1904. So, harmless prank

or terrifying mystery waiting --

I passed the test!

Betty Spielsdorf, ladies and gentlemen!

Roommate extraordinaire and best friend of the last several weeks.

So, how’d you do?

62%. Which is pretty cool. It’s like a gentlewoman’s C.

Hey --

We’re gonna go out and celebrate.

You are so much better than a 62. Maybe if there was a little less celebrating and a little more studying…

Come on, dude. This is what college is about.

And finally you’re out of that hamster ball that your dad had you living in…

He just had… safety concerns.

And now it’s time to live. Like, right now. What are you doing right now?

My journalism project.

No. No, no, no, no, no. The quad mixer’s right now, ‘kay?

I’m not leaving you here alone talking to the Internet about—

The library catalogue possibly achieving sentience?

‘Kay, so some library catalogue… prank… I don’t know.

But all I know is that it is 6 PM on a Friday.

We’re gonna get you in something cute…Ooh, this is bad.

‘Kay, we’re gonna have fun. Let’s do it.

Okay, but I have to finish this before --

No buts. This is our college adventure, come on!

Besides, the spooky library will be there tomorrow…

Hey, Danny’s gonna be there, that TA. Will you come? Please come.

Yes, fine!

Yeah!

*exciting, getting-ready-to-go-out music*

Oh, crap. Have you been on this whole night?

Let’s just do a little before and after, shall we?

And how is the Jäger-bombinatrix doing this morning?

Betty?

Bets?

Is this some kind of a joke?

Ugh… What the…?

[reading card] Dear Student, your roommate no longer attends Silas…

What the what?!