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[theme music]
MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Vlad.
Vlad.
-Robin?
Is that you? MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Vlad.
Over here.
-[screams]
MALE SPEAKER (OFFSCREEN): Vlad.
Vlad.
-[screams]
-Freak.
-On the contrary, Mistress Ingrid.
Like all powerful vampires, Master Vlad
has started sleeping during the day.
-Excellent.
Let's go down to the crypt and I'll tuck you into your coffin.
Renfield, burn his bed.
-Happily.
-I am not speaking in a coffin all day.
I'm going to school.
-Sweet dreams.
-Jonno, the porridge!
-Sorry, Dad.
It's from Mom.
We've been writing, and she wants to see me.
-Oh, I see.
-You haven't told her about the slaying, have you?
-No.
What's wrong telling her the truth?
-She's a psychotherapist.
She thinks that vampires only exist in my mind.
-But we can prove they're real!
People see only what they want to see.
Don't make the same mistake as me.
-They're coming.
-Who's coming?
[door bell]
-I'm coming!
Hello, Vlad.
Hurry up, you lot!
Are all right?
You look tired.
-Go to bed early.
That's my advice.
Bye, love.
-Yeah, I know.
I look tired.
Something weird is happening.
I keep falling asleep and having this dream about you.
We're in a forest, and--
-Freak.
[screech]
-For centuries, oak has been the traditional choice of wood
when building a coffin.
-Isn't that right, Vlad?
[growl]
Vlad!
-Vampire!
-Vlad, be quiet!
Come on, let's go.
-What is wrong with him? -He's a creature of the undead.
Everything's wrong with him.
[bell ringing]
-Everybody was a vampire.
-Cool.
I love it when I have that dream.
-It was more like a nightmare.
I'm scared, Robin.
I can't fall asleep again.
-It's double maths after lunch.
You've got no chance.
-You'll just have to keep pinching me.
-What are friends for?
-Vlad?
Vlad, wake up.
Vlad, wake up.
Vlad!
Vlad, wake up!
-They're coming.
-Who's coming?
-You must learn to master your vampire powers to survive.
-Powers?
What do you mean, survive?
-Listen.
[footsteps]
-Slayers.
-They are fast.
But the wolf is faster.
-Yeah?
Well, I'm not a wolf.
-It sleeps within you.
-I can't shapeshift.
I'm not even a proper vampire yet.
-That's not what they think.
-What do I do?
-A clever fish swims with the tide.
Run!
-You! [laughing] I thought I was being chased by slayers.
This is just a dream.
You're not gonna hurt me.
There goes that theory.
[groaning]
[snarling]
[growling]
[barking]
-Double freak.
[bell ringing]
-What on Earth's going on?
Come on, there's nothing to see here.
-You were supposed to stop me falling asleep.
-I tried pinching you, but you wouldn't wake up.
Maybe next time I should slap you in the face.
-Robin, I am in big trouble.
-That was nothing to do with me.
-Your mom just tried to slay me.
-Ingrid.
-Shh.
-Sorry.
Ingrid, do you ever have weird dreams?
-Only a recurring one where an annoying geek of a brother
keeps asking me stupid questions.
-I'm serious.
In my dream, I was chased by slayers, and they did this.
-Boys?
My lunch.
You're lying.
You don't get to go to the dream world until you're 16.
-What dream world?
-The place vampires go when they sleep, bat brain.
If you're slain there, you die for real.
-That's not good news.
-Ugh, please.
As if you'd get to go there before me.
Hey.
Vlad.
-[crying]
The slayers are coming.
Save me, Vlad!
Save me!
-Shh.
-Slayers!
-Follow me.
Keep your head down.
-If I die, who's gonna carry on my charity work
and captain the chess club?
-I don't know who's freaking me out more, you or the Branaghs.
Come on.
-[screaming]
-[snarling]
-Robin Branagh, you do not wake someone
up by slapping them in the face.
-But Miss, he told me to.
-Ingrid, you're OK!
-Get up, Sleeping Beauty.
You're making the rest of us look bad.
Back off, slayers.
He doesn't need your kind of help.
-What happened to your hand?
-He's feasting on himself.
-Oh, that is disgusting.
-I, uh, it's just a papercut.
-Go wash the blood off.
Then come to my office.
Let's see if we can patch you up with a first aid kit, eh?
I'm very concerned about Vlad's behavior.
-Yes.
He should be punished severely.
-No, I mean I'm worried about him.
He's been acting very strangely.
-Maybe there's trouble at home.
Why don't you invite his father in for a chat?
-Good idea.
And I'll call in a student counselor, too.
-Dad, you're a genius.
-Don't get me wrong.
I like being a vampire mentor.
I just think that I should be in black, too.
-Your family trying to slay me, and all
you can think about is clothes?
Ow.
-So what was it like shapeshifting into a wolf?
-Well, I scared the slayers, and I felt good, which worries me.
-And having fur and a tail doesn't?
-What if there's an evil vampire in my blood after all?
-Vlad, you still sleep with a teddy bear.
Dream on.
Come on.
Let's get you a plaster.
And a lollipop for being brave.
-So when the Count arrives, what's he going to do?
-Try and get inside quickly to avoid exposure to sunlight.
-And what are we going to do?
-Stop him.
-And let Mother Nature do the rest.
-Here he comes.
-Get ready.
-Hello, Eric.
Hello, Jonno.
-Mom!
-Mina!
-Wow, gosh, you've got tall.
-Mina, what are you doing here?
-Oh, wow, it's nice to see you, too.
-No, I mean-- I didn't mean--
-I've, um, started working as a counselor for schools
in this area, so I thought it would
be a good chance to see both of you.
-Are you here to see a boy called Vlad?
-Eric, you know I can't tell you that.
Oh, um, I'm late.
Can we talk later?
-Let's hope so.
-Don't worry.
This is perfect.
-Jonno, we're letting her walk into a room full of vampires.
That's not what I call perfect.
-All we have to do is grab the Count on the way out
and he'll turn to dust before her very eyes.
-Finally proving to her that vampires are real.
You're the genius, son.
-Run along.
Mr. Count.
Pleased to meet you.
-The pleasure is all mine.
-[giggling]
-Good afternoon.
I'm Mina Van Helsing, student counselor.
Hello.
-I believe I know your husband, Mrs. Van Helsing.
We're great friends.
-Please don't kiss my hand.
-He never mentioned he had such a beautiful wife.
-I think we're here to talk about Vlad, not me.
Shall we go in?
Ahem.
-Oh, yes.
He's in my office.
-He's out cold.
-It's no use.
Vampires can't cross running water, remember?
-But that makes no sense.
-Hey, I don't make the rules.
-Ow.
-Our greatest glory is in rising every time we fall.
You have to get up and fight.
-Help me.
-We need to get this boy straight to hospital.
-Oh, come on.
He's totally faking.
-Now.
-They're coming.
-Let's grab the Count and give him a sun tan he won't forget.
-OK, watch his head.
I'm, uh, gonna get to the hospital.
I'll-- I'll call you later.
-Follow that hearse!
-We should go too.
-I'll look after him, Miss.
-Good idea.
Mr. Van Helsing!
Have you got room for two more?
-You can do this, Vlad.
You know you can.
Use your energies.
That's it, Vlad.
Trust your instincts.
Feel the energy.
Use the power within.
It is your time.
-[growl]
-You did this.
-I needed to make sure you could pass the test
before you meet the master.
-I thought you were my friend.
-You have no friends here, Vlad.
-If your dad lays a finger on my mom, you'll be sorry.
-It's his fangs I'd be worried about.
-She's trying to wind you up.
Don't give her the satisfaction.
-So, Eric, what blood group is your wife?
-Anyone up for a game of I Spy?
-I'm home?
-It is time for you to meet the Grand High Vampire.
-Renfield is the Grand High Vampire?
-On your feet.
-I've always liked you.
You know that, don't you?
-Speak only when the master speak.
-Of course, yeah.
Sorry.
I won't say another word.
What am I supposed to do?
-You must choose your destiny, Vlad.
You are on a journey.
Ahead of you lie two paths.
Which will you take?
One path leads to immortality, and the other-- the other--
-Dad?
-Leads to death.
-Dad?
-Don't worry, Vlad.
Daddy's here for you.
-[screaming]
-My time is past.
Our people are suffering.
We are being hunted down and destroyed.
We hide in the shadows, waiting for the chosen one.
-The chosen one?
-A vampire with exceptional powers
who will lead us once again to glory.
Vladimir Dracula, you are the chosen one.
-Wrong.
I don't even want to be a vampire.
-Vladimir--
-Look, thanks for the offer, but I think I'll give it a miss.
-[speaking latin]
-Is that the time?
-[speaking latin]
You can't escape your destiny, Vlad.
-Heart rate's racing.
Pressure's dropping.
-These infernal machines are making him worse.
-Get the crash cart ready.
-You must fight, Vlad.
Fight.
-They're doing everything they can.
-He should be at home in a coffin, resting in peace.
-You mustn't give up hope.
He'll pull through.
-There's evil in you, Vlad.
I can smell it.
-I'm sorry, but you're making me nervous.
-I saw it when you tried to bite the slayer in the forest.
-That wasn't me.
That was someone else.
-Who are you, Vlad?
In our world, you're either a vampire or a slayer.
Slay the vampire.
Bite the breather.
The choice is yours.
-Don't slay me, Vlad!
I'm allergic to wood.
-Is this what you want?
To spend the rest of your days feasting on the innocent?
-Don't become a slayer, Vlad.
Statistics show they live short, tragically unfulfilled lives.
-Join us and be a beacon of light in the darkness.
-And they have a horrible weakness for metaphor.
Bite her!
-Slay her!
-Bite her!
-Slay her!
-Bite her!
-It's all in my head.
It's all in my head.
It's all in my head.
It's all in my head.
[interposing voices]
-I feel so helpless.
-Eric!
-Leave her alone, vampire!
-Is he a patient of yours?
-Don't tell me you're still obsessed with vampires.
-He thinks our whole family are vampires.
-But it's true, Mom.
They are.
-Great.
So now you've infected Jonathan with this madness.
Eric, how could you?
-He's crashing.
[beeping]
-Right.
Wait outside.
-It's all in my head, it's all in my head,
it's all in my head.
Hello?
-Your indecision has cost you dearly.
We have no need for a leader who's nice to people.
[growl]
-That hurt!
-It's meant to.
-[growl]
-Stop doing that!
-Make me! [growl]
-I told you to stop doing that.
-[growling]
-We're losing him.
-Uh, no.
Someone switched off the monitor.
-Sorry.
Was that supposed to be plugged in?
[beeping]
-[growling]
[beeping]
-Oh, that's right.
Everybody blame Ingrid.
-You are the chosen one.
Finish me, and take your rightful place on this throne.
-[groan]
-No.
I won't fight you anymore.
I don't enjoy being evil.
It makes me feel dead inside.
I choose life.
-No!
-[gasp] Where am I?
-It's OK, Vlad.
You're back in the real world now.
-What?
-So, did I become a vampire?
-Yes.
And yes, you were wearing black.
-Cool.
-There's nothing wrong with him.
-You wouldn't say that if you had to live with him.
-Well, that's amazing.
He's absolutely fine.
-Yeah, I knew he wouldn't die, because he's a vampire.
-Well, I hope you're proud of yourself, Eric.
Look what you've done to our son.
-But Mom, we can prove it.
-Leave it, Jonno, you're wasting your time.
I think this is the part where you say you're leaving.
-No.
Not this time, Eric.
No, this time I'm going to stay and finally
deal with this crazy vampire obsession once and for all.
-So, who was your Grand High Vampire?
Mine was Nanny Clontarf.
-You knew where I was?
-Are you the chosen one?
-No.
It's not me.
-Hm.
Let's get you home.
-Actually, I'd like to keep him in overnight for observation.
[phone ringing]
-Excuse me.
-Hm.
I'll stay and keep you company.
-Oh, thanks, Dad.
-Got a straw?
[theme music]