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[opening theme]
-Help!
Somebody help me!
That-- You saved me.
-Vlad.
What's put that smile on your face?
-You shouldn't creep up on people like that.
BERTRAND: What's the problem?
-Nothing.
We training or what?
ERIN (VOICEOVER): If I could wipe out the bloodline that
infected you, the curse will be lifted.
RYAN (VOICEOVER): I was bitten.
We both know what that means.
And when the time comes, you know what has to be done.
-I told you.
I'm going to kill you.
If I can wipe out the bloodline that infected you,
the curse will be lifted.
RYAN (VOICEOVER): Did you do it?
Did you stake Ingrid?
-She's a monster.
She's not human.
I couldn't.
I'm so sorry.
RYAN (VOICEOVER): Think of me as one of them now.
I'm too dangerous to be around.
-I'll save you, I promise.
-I'll catch you up.
[knock on door]
VLAD: Can I come in?
What's wrong?
Is it this place?
I know it's not exactly homely.
We can customize your coffin, if that would help.
-It wouldn't.
-Then what is it?
You can talk to me.
-No, I can't.
Leave me alone.
Please.
[knock on door]
Come in.
What's that?
-Mr. Cuddles the Second.
-The Second?
-Mr. Cuddles the First had an unfortunate accident.
-Vladimir!
[scream]
What is this thing?
-That thing?
Never seen it before in my life.
Oh, Mr. Cuddles!
-Oh, so it's Mr. Cuddles now, is it?
-I don't normally sleep with him, obviously.
-Oh, was poor little Vladdie Waddie lonely?
You're supposed to be my son and heir.
-Yeah, well, I never chose to be, did I?
-Rise.
Now.
-Take it out on the monkey, why don't you?
Lock up your teddies, they'll be scared of you now.
-Oh, it was a million years ago.
-A million years?
-10.
5.
4.
-A vampire with a teddy bear?
-Come along, Renfield.
Work to be done.
Not you, you little furball.
Go, go, go.
Go to Ingrid.
Go on.
Shoo.
Shoo.
-Why do I have to look after him?
-He's your half-brother.
-From a mother I want nothing to do with.
-You wanted to take him in.
-So Vlad's training means he's exempt, and because I'm female,
I get to be the dog-minder.
-Exactly-- oh, you're being sarcastic.
-I hadn't even started yet.
-Renfield.
-He's pretty much the only thing I managed to save from Stokley.
-You miss that place, don't you?
-I had a life there.
I had friends.
Well, one friend.
-Another vampire?
-No.
He was normal.
-What are you doing?
-Aren't you going to bite me?
-Bite you?
Why would I want to bite you?
-You can if you want.
-No.
-So I'm not good enough because I'm not a vampire.
Checkmate.
Who's the loser?
Who's the loser?
Go, loser.
Go, loser.
Go, loser.
-Just because you aren't a vampire, doesn't mean you
can't be evil.
-Thanks, Vlad.
You're my best mate, you know that, don't you?
-Robin, I'm your only mate.
-Exactly.
-OK.
He wasn't normal, but I still miss him.
-Why did you leave?
-After what Ingrid did, we had no choice.
-Is he-- is he dead?
-I don't know.
And I don't care.
-He's your brother.
You must help him.
-I'll decide what I must do.
From now on, you will call me Countess Dracula.
-If we didn't escape when we did, she woud've kill us.
-Your sister wrecked your life.
-It's kind of her thing.
-But you saved her from the slayers and let her move in.
-She's my sister.
Do you have any brothers or sisters?
-A brother.
-Does he know--
-Yeah, he-- he didn't take it very well.
-Nobody ever does.
-The idea of turning into a vampire-- he
couldn't handle it.
It drove us apart.
-Where is he now?
-I don't know.
He won't tell me.
-It's probably for the best for both of you.
He'll reject you.
Maybe even try to slay you.
He's better off remembering you as you were.
-So that's it?
Once you're a vampire, you're cut off
from your friends and family for-- forever?
For eternity?
-You're not alone.
You've got me.
I mean, us.
-What's she doing here?
-I've asked Erin to stay with us.
-This half-fang-- why?
-She saved Ingrid's life.
-You're really not selling her.
-She's staying whether you like it or not.
-My castle, my rules.
-To the left.
Left, not backwards, you imbecile.
-Yes, yes, sir.
-Mr. Count.
What are you doing?
-Oh, deciding where my statue should stand.
-A statute?
A statue of you?
-Mm.
-How big is this thing going to be?
-Well, I thought so high?
I'm not sure if I'd look best cast from bronze,
or chiseled from stone.
What do you think?
-I think we need school computers.
-We're not wasting money on some passing fad.
This statue will be a timeless masterpiece.
Oh, Wolfie, leave that.
Bad boy.
I think he likes you.
-How old is he?
-In human or dog years?
-You're not fooling anybody.
-What do you mean?
-Beneath that stern exterior, you're just a big softy.
Not many men would take in their ex's son.
You must have a good heart.
-And so do you.
65 strong, healthy beats per minute.
68.
-Well, I'll leave you to your timeless masterpiece.
-The cheeckbones should be more defined, the jaw squarer.
[squeaking]
Make it more imposing.
[squeaking]
I want this statue to strike fear
into the hearts of-- Wolfie!
Will you stop that?
[squeak]
-Sorry, Uncle Count.
-Don't call me that.
I'm not your uncle.
Enough!
Get out of my sight, you heinous abberation of nature.
-Oh, thank you.
-No, no, not you.
The other one.
I'm sending you back to your mother.
-Please let me stay.
-You've tried my patience enough.
I'm going to fill in your travel permit,
then you'll be out of my life for good.
-Where do you keep the matches?
Does it hurt?
-What?
Oh, the fire thing.
No.
When your fangs first come through,
well, you don't want to know about that.
-I do.
I need to be prepared.
They'll think I'm a newly bitten half-fang.
-You can't live with vampires.
You're a vegetarian.
-And a trained slayer.
-With a pulse.
-I've been using stasis spray, remember?
It blocks out my heartbeat, and my breathing, and my scent.
How bad is the change, really?
-It's OK.
Well, that's the worst of it.
But vampire life's not all bad.
The speed thing's pretty cool.
You can hypnotize people.
-Does it work on everyone?
-You can't hypnotize people you're in love with,
but otherwise, yeah.
-Even other vampires?
-I'll show you how it's done.
You make eye contact, and then you draw them in, freezing them
with your gaze, like a rabbit caught in the headlights.
And then before you know it, they're--
-They're what?
Dad?
-You've hypnotized him.
-No way.
-You have.
Watch this.
Hello.
My name's Count Dracula-la-lah!
-How did I do that?
ROBIN: You are now a true vampire.
Ha ha ha!
-Can you stop that?
It's freaking me out.
Vampire's are tough, but breathers are easy.
-Have you ever used your powers to get a girl?
-It's actually me who lives in a castle.
But I'm sure you still want to go out with Robin, so--
-Delila.
-Hi, Robin.
You're dumped.
And yes, Vlad.
I would love to go to the ball with you.
See you.
-That would be wrong.
-So it turns out Delila didn't fancy either of us.
-Not yet, she doesn't.
-Vlad.
Let's do it.
-Hey, boys.
-Hey.
[screaming]
-So, so wrong.
-When will I start wanting to-- you know.
-Drink blood.
Not 'til you've fully changed.
-How long have I got?
-With some people, the turn happens almost straight away.
With other people, their blood fights it,
and it could take months.
-Do some people never change?
-No.
It happens eventually.
Once you're bitten, there's no going back.
-I heard if you wipe out the clan of the vampire who
infected you, you can be cured.
-Did you stake Ingrid?
-I couldn't.
I'm so sorry.
Is that true?
-It's just a legend.
-But does it work?
-No.
But that doesn't stop people from trying.
No.
No.
That wasn't your plan all along, was it?
-I don't know what you mean.
-Yes, you do.
You're planning to go after the vampire that bit you.
-No, I'm not.
Really, I'm not.
Promise.
-OK.
Because violence is never the way.
-Says the vampire king.
-Chosen One, actually.
-Whatever.
-I didn't choose this job.
It chose me.
I didn't even want to be a vampire.
I hate being a vampire.
It really sucks.
-Isn't that rather the point?
-Everybody gets first-bite nerves.
You just need some practice until you're
old enough to start on the peasants.
Now be a brave boy and bite the bunny.
-I'm not biting the bunny.
I'm not biting anyone.
-You're a vampire.
Start acting like one.
-Come to measure me for my coffin?
-No, but good thinking.
We can do that later.
-Can't wait.
-Neither can I. This will bring us so much closer.
We can go out flying, and hunting,
and terrorizing together-- father and son.
-No!
I'm not you, Dad.
I never will be.
Is there a choice?
A way to get out of becoming a vampire?
-Get out of-- get out of becoming a vampire?
Being a vampire is your destiny.
And nothing you can do will ever change that.
-The Staff of Carpathia.
A new attraction at Stokley Museum.
Legend has it that one blow from the Staff
will cure the curse of vampirism.
Robin, this is brilliant.
It does cure vampirism.
-Oh, don't be ridiculous.
It's my favorite back scratcher.
I lost it 400 years ago, and I've
never been able to replace it.
Heaven.
Want to try?
-Why did I get my hopes up?
-So you never found a cure?
-No.
But I learned to live with it, and so will you.
-You were born a vampire.
This is all normal for you, sleeping in moldy coffins,
hiding in shadows.
-Running from slayers, no normal life, no friends, no sunshine.
It's OK.
-Your dad and sister don't seem to have
a problem with the whole vampire thing.
-We shall bite them on the beaches.
We shall bite them in the fields and in the streets.
We shall bite them in the hills.
We shall never surrender.
I am the Prince of Darkness.
-That's because they're power hungry maniacs.
Don't worry.
In the vampire world, that's a compliment.
Dad's really loving this whole Chosen One thing.
-My time is past.
Our people are suffering.
We are being hunted down and destroyed.
We hide in the shadows, waiting for the Chosen One.
-The Chosen One?
-A vampire with exceptional powers
who will lead us once again to glory.
Vladimir Dracula.
You are the Chosen One.
-Wrong.
I don't even want to be a vampire.
-Vladimir Dominus--
-Look, thanks for the offer, but I think I'll give it a miss.
-Vladimir Dominus--
-Supper time.
-Vladimir Dominus Imperator Electus.
Vladimir Dominus Imperator Electus.
Vladimir Dominus Imperator Electus.
You can't escape your destiny, Vlad.
-Dad was always so disappointed in me.
-He shouldn't have been.
COUNT DRACULA: Oh, come on, Renfield, you twit.
Time is of the essence.
[squeaking]
-Hey.
Quiet.
Shut it.
[squeak]
COUNT DRACULA: The world awaits my magnificent likeness.
[bark]
-Get on with it.
-Hold onto your fangs and prepare
to cower before the mighty image of Count Dracula!
You idiot!
-But Master, it's-- it's not my fault.
Look, Wolfie got the plans wet.
-Wolfie, you're a genius.
You tripped him.
I couldn't have done better myself.
-So once you're bitten, you become a vampire,
you crave human blood.
-I'm never going to drink human blood.
I get intense cravings.
Sometimes, it's all I can think about,
but I'm determined to fight it.
COUNT DRACULA: Children, prepare to meet
your uncle-- Ivan of the Bloodthirsy.
Devourer of Souls, and Black-Hearted Butcher of--
-Yo!
Big Bro.
Come give me a hug.
-Ivan?
-The name's Harvey now.
Ivan's so old country.
-Let's go hunt some peasant.
-Ah.
There's no easy way to break this to you, Bro.
I don't do peasant anymore.
Gave up the red stuff a while ago.
Blood-free since '93.
I drink soya substitute.
All of the goodness and none of the badness.
-You know how you live blood-free.
-Yeah?
-Can all vampires do it?
-You betcha.
It's all about finding inner peace.
Why?
Are you interested?
-Oh, definitely.
The first time I can sort of imagine becoming a vampire.
The whole blood thing.
It's not me.
The only problem is--
-My brother?
-He's not big on inner peace.
But--
-I could convert him?
Oh, sorry.
Didn't I mention?
I'm vegetarian.
-Oh, how about some badgers' noses?
They're more gristle than meat.
-Are you deliberately trying to give me a blood ulcer?
I mean, what in the name of the Impaler has happened to you?
-I cleaned up my act, Bro.
I had to.
I was out of control, draining 50 peasants a day.
I tried everything to cut down-- patches, hypnotherapy.
Nothing worked.
Then, I met a bunch of new age werewolves.
-Why does it always have to be werewolves?
-Dad.
-They told me if I'd eat good, I'd do good.
-Dad, this is the 21st century.
All the cool vampires are living blood-free.
And I was thinking perhaps, possibly,
maybe you could give it a try.
-Maybe.
Maybe we could live in a little cottage,
and eat nuts, and grow daffodils.
Never!
-A vegetarian vampire?
-Yeah.
-Slayer's blood.
-I don't believe you.
You said living blood-free was our best chance.
-There was no blood-free.
It was a fantasy.
A deluded dream.
Tell him, Ivan.
-He's right.
This is sensational.
I haven't felt this undead in years.
There's only one way for us to live-- up to our eyes in blood.
-It didn't last very long.
-Go on.
In you get.
-But I want to stay with you.
[squeaking]
-So long, Wolfie.
Give my regards to your mother.
[howl]
-I wouldn't say, Master.
Just you and me again now, Sire.
As it should be.
-Wait.
I've reconsidered.
You may stay on a tr-- a trial basis.
-But Master--
-Oh, but Master nothing.
-So basically, there's no way out of it.
Your family will reject you, and eventually, some slayer
will hunt you down and stake you.
-You make it sound so negative.
I'm sorry, Erin.
I'm sorry this has happened to you.
-I was bitten.
We both know what that means.
-I'm never going to see my brother again, am I?
-Maybe.
-How can I?
After everything you've told me.
Breathers and vampires can't mix.
-That could change.
-How?
-All my life, I've been living up
to other people's expectations.
-I feel that perhaps you're not trying
your best to pass this blood test.
And I know that no son and heir of mine
would fail something so straightforward.
And if the did, well, they wouldn't
be my son and heir for very long.
-Are you saying you'd disown me if I fail the test?
-No, of course not.
I'd just deny all knowledge of your existence.
-You are the Chosen One.
You must take your rightful place on the throne.
-I'm sorry, Your Grandness.
But I really think there's been a mistake.
-Hm?
-You will know you are the Chosen One when you sacrifice
the life you love to save the family you love.
-Robin, the crown.
Now.
-That's my Vladdie.
-It's my life.
I'm going to make this Chosen One thing work for me.
-How are you going to do that?
-When I get my full powers, I'm going to do things my way.
They want me to lead vampires out of the shadows,
and take over the world-- OK.
But nobody gets hurt.
-Nobody gets hurt?
-I want vampires and breathers to live together in peace.
I want the bloodshed to end.
Forever.
[ending theme]