[ominous pipe organ music]

[music continues]

-Poison.

Poison.

-Feels good, doesn't it?

Allow me to be the first to bow before the new Count Dracula.

-Keep a lookout.

The shapeshifter could be anyone.

-You think she'll come back after us?

-No, she's after me.

Get his legs.

-No, no!

No!

No!

If I go in there, I'm never coming out.

Put me down. Put me down.

Down.

Down.

How long have I got?

How long?

-Oh, sir, it's a slow-acting poison.

You've got about six hours, tops.

First you get muscle paralysis.

Then your veins go black.

Then you start hallucinating as the poison kicks in.

And the pain-- cor, it's excruciating as you burn up

from the inside before exploding into a massive fireball.

Forget I said anything.

-He's dead then?

-The poison'll keep him alive long enough

to see his loved ones wiped out.

-Shame, really.

I was starting to like having a brother and sister.

ELIZABETA: Don't get sentimental.

While Vlad lives, he's still a threat to your bloodline.

-Fair enough.

I suppose it's two less birthday cards to write anyway.

[hiss]

[music stops]

-Make that three.

-Ah, ah, ah.

She's on our side now.

[hisses]

[hiss]

-She still loves him.

It's written all over her fangs.

-You're not the only one who can change.

-If you want to prove that you love my son, kiss Vlad.

Let father and son share the same fate.

-He'll know it's a trap.

-Not if you dump me first.

-Careful.

The poison's strong.

Apply it at the last possible moment.

And don't lick your lips.

-Killed with a kiss.

[laughs]

[footsteps]

What a pathetic way to die after--

-Sh!

Someone's coming.

[footsteps]

[knock]

-Who-- who is it?

INGRID: Ingrid.

Dad, are you OK?

Can I come in?

-Since when did Ingrid ever ask if you were OK?

-She's a shapeshifter!

THE COUNT: Run.

Run!

It's your only chance.

INGRID: What are you doing in there?

-Enter.

INGRID: You idiot.

You should have known the real McCoy would never kiss you.

You're a disgusting, pale, skinny antique.

-Yep, that's Ingrid.

-Your track record of picking girlfriends is appalling.

-Oh, what can I say?

Love is blind.

RENFIELD: Oh, which reminds me-- after you hallucinate

but before you explode, you go blind.

Forget I said that.

-Vladdy, I need to see Miss McCauley one last time.

Bring her to me.

-We need an antidote.

RENFIELD: That's impossible!

One antidote, coming right up.

-Bring Miss McCauley, the real one.

Watch your backs.

Be vigilant, Ingrid.

Come on, Dad.

-Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Ooh!

-Here we go.

OK.

-No.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, it can't be!

Arta?

[breathing heavily]

But-- but you're dead!

-You don't kill me that easily.

I will always be alive in here, watching

you live the life that should have been mine.

THE COUNT: It was an accident!

You knew the rules.

You take my title, you take my wife--

now it's my turn to watch you die.

[laughs]

-Do you see him?

Do you see him?

Do-- do-- do you see my brother?

-Dad.

-What?

VLAD: There's no one there.

[school bell ringing]

-Ah, Cody.

Off you go, Sally.

This doesn't concern you.

If you're going to graffiti "McCauley

is a moron" in the toilets, I suggest

you don't post a photo online saying,

"Look what I just done."

It's "did," not "done."

-Yes, Miss.

MISS MCCAULEY: Detention for a week.

[spritz]

CODY: Yes, Miss.

[sniffs]

-Do you smell garlic?

-No.

Dad's not well.

He wants to see you.

-Oh, nothing serious, I hope.

-It's better if he tells you himself.

-No running, Eve.

[girl screaming]

-Abbie, let go of her hair this instant!

-No, wait!

-Girls!

Girls, stop that!

It's totally unacceptable.

What on Earth do you think you're doing?

-Relax, Ingrid.

I've no reason to harm you.

I only want to harm the people the Count loves.

Think what you could do with this power.

I'll teach you.

-When do we begin?

-After you've bitten that little blood blister of a teacher.

[small hiss]

-He's hallucinating.

We don't have much time.

Will this antidote work?

-Yes, Master.

-Well, hurry up.

-Yes, Master.

-You should kiss your mother goodbye.

She won't be around for much longer.

-Get out now, while you still can, and take Erin with you.

-I thought she was with you.

-I don't need your castoffs.

Now I'm Count Dracula, I can take my pick.

[hiss]

[scoffs]

-You and Malik going somewhere nice?

I hear Paris is very romantic this time of the year.

-Don't push it.

Still haven't packed these yet.

-Hey, for what it's worth, I thought you

and Malik were perfect for each other.

What happened?

Did his mother not approve?

-Do you know what I liked about Malik?

He saw something he wanted, he just took it.

-Poison lipstick.

You're Elizabeta.

-Nope, it's really me.

You should have let me die when you had the chance.

-This will be my-- my finest scientific discovery.

Yeah.

Oh, yes, they'll build statues of me.

They'll put my face on banknotes!

Yes.

They'll rename the Nobel Peace Prize the Renfield Award.

Yeah!

Ho, ho!

Oh, will this work?

You betcha!

[boom]

If at first you don't succeed, try, try, again.

-Well, it looked like Abbie was trying to bite the other girl.

It was barbaric, actually.

I mean, that's not normal, is it?

-Can't imagine who'd do such a thing.

-Vlad, how's your dad?

-Uh, man flu, you know.

Protect McCauley, and be careful.

-Uh, no, Miss McCauley, the other door.

-Master Vlad!

Master Vlad, I think I've cracked it.

But I need your help.

It's at a very delicate stage.

-Oh, you're a genius.

[gleeful giggle]

-Mr. Count?

You don't look very well.

Let me call a doctor.

-I don't need your help, and you're fired.

-What?

-You're a useless headmistress.

-I am not.

Look at the Ofsted Report.

THE COUNT: Right.

And I firing you for wearing too much blue.

I want you off the premises in five minutes.

-I love this job.

THE COUNT: Well, the job doesn't love you. (SHOUTING)

Now get out!

[sobs]

-You really have a great way of talking to women.

I'll go check on her.

-In-- Ingrid.

Ingrid.

-What?

-I have something for you.

-It's at that tricky stage of distillation

where four hands are better than two.

-How much longer?

-How about six hands?

That's not me.

That's Elizabeta.

She's behind you!

-Yes, thank you, I've worked that out.

-Yeah, I--

-From the slimy, hairy caterpillar

to the beautiful butterfly.

-Slimy?

-Finish the antidote.

Go.

ELIZABETA: [laughs] You are so like your father.

Easily tricked.

[high-pitched shriek]

[glass shattering]

[shriek stops]

[jaw cracks]

[breathing jaggedly]

-(SATISFIED) Hm!

-I want you to have this.

You were five when you drew that.

Said you couldn't wait to have your own coffin, just like me.

Come, come.

Look, you drew your fangs bigger than mine.

[laughs]

-You always were more ambitious than Vlad.

-I thought you only kept Vlad's drawings.

You said you threw all mine away.

-I've never said this before, but I do love you, Ingrid.

-You don't mean that.

It's just the poison pickling your brain.

-I mean it with all my dying heart.

Aaah!

It's all right, it's all right.

It's all right.

[thunderclap]

ELIZABETA: I thought it would be a fitting place for you to die.

This is as close to the throne as you'll ever get.

My son will rule for a thousand years with you at his side,

backing every decision.

-I'll be a better Vlad than you ever were.

Let me put you out of your misery.

Your loved ones won't miss you.

They despise you.

-Please don't bite me, Vlad.

If you loved me, you'd let me die.

ELIZABETA AS THE COUNT: You pathetic imbecile.

The slayers were defeated.

The glorious vampire revolution was about to begin.

You betrayed us.

ELIZABETA AS INGRID: You could have

been magnificent, a true Dracula.

A brother to be proud of.

-I thought you were our future.

But you were my executioner.

-And all our yesterdays lighted fools the way