how offering yourself as bait

to your bloodsucking roommate is not the worst plan ever devised by womankind.

You think I’m excited about it?

We have been following her for a week and we still have no idea how or where she is taking these girls.

And LaFontaine’s plan is the only one that we’ve got.

Well, the fact that a terrible plan is our only plan is not really a selling point.

I’m sorry. Are we still really talking about all of this as though a vampire is really more likely than,

I don’t know, just some guy putting something in girls’ drinks?

We don’t know she isn’t doing that too.

You guys know that I can hear you, right?

Maybe instead of peanut gallery-ing you can help me figure out how we trap a vampire.

[Pulls out bag of bear spray]

How do we feel about bear spray?

Probably not.

Side note: you planning on invading a bear sanctuary?

My dad’s really into personal protection.

I can see that.

Ughhhh. This is not working.

I don’t see how we’re gonna do this—

Good.

Without an army. And I don’t have an army in my back pocket, do you?

[Kirsch, Will, Natalie, and Sarah Jane at the doorway]

Hey Laura. Laura’s friends. Psycho society.

We came to invite you to the Peace Augsburg Luau that’s happening tomorrow night

because peace was, after all, your idea.

And uh hey, maybe we can talk a bit about the, uh, the pod people stuff?

Because this isn’t pre-party drinking anymore. She’s been like this all week.

Which is cool, you know, but there’s only so much top 40 a dude can take.

Yeah, about that.

If were to try and catch the person responsible for taking the girls,

uh, would the Zetas want in on that?

Do you think you know who’s behind it?

Oh, we totally want in. We’re honour-bound to pound that guy.

Dude, pound that guy, really?

And how many of you are there, again?

[Later that night]

I know.

I’m betting most of you are about as psyched as Danny that I’ve enlisted the Zetas for help.

They may be jerks,

but when you’re about to become live vampire bait,

suddenly, having an army full of mesomorphs on your side doesn’t sound so bad.

Which leads us to the even less savoury section of our plan.

The part where I somehow,

who knows how,

lure Carmilla into our trap.

What would Mina Harker do?

Get bitten.

Mina Harker would totally try and act all alluring to the bloodsucking fiend and totally get bitten.

Let’s not do that.

[Hard rock music]

[Laura sits up in bed]

Black as the night and terrible…

[Puff of black smoke by the window]

[Laura turns on the light]

[Carmilla now standing by the window, playing with a lighter]

Uh,

you're here.

Been here a while.

Another bad dream?

Yeah.

What are you doing up?

Looking at the stars.

Oh.

It’s comforting…

to think how small we are in comparison.

All the lives we’ve led…

the people we’ve been…

Nothing to that light.

You are definitely a philosophy major.

Right now I think your

subconscious is telling you to quit web journalism and finish your overdue lit paper.

What?

You were dreaming about your Kipling reading.

“Black as the pit and terrible as the night was Bagheera”?

I always loved that.

It’s beautiful.

Or,

you know, terrifying cause giant black cat.

So...

There’s this party tomorrow night that the Zetas are throwing

and I was thinking, since we got off such to a rough start as roommates

that we could go together?

You know, maybe hang out for a while there.

Look at the stars.

I think I might like that very much.

Okay! So, tomorrow then.

[Laura gets back into bed]

Yeah...

tomorrow.