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  • -Woohoo.

  • DARBY: Hey everyone, please stick around after the episode

  • for a very important message about how you can help us make

  • season three of "Space Janitors."

  • COMPUTER: Attention crew, now entering wormhole.

  • Prepare for reality distortion.

  • DARBY: Cool.

  • GOATEE DARBY: Darby, I have something to tell you.

  • DARBY: Who're you?

  • GOATEE DARBY: I'm you, from the future.

  • DARBY: No you're not, you're an evil version of me from

  • another dimension.

  • GOATEE DARBY: What?

  • Oh, well, yeah.

  • I'm from the goatee dimension, but I'm also from the future.

  • DARBY: Why don't you just go back to the

  • goatee dimension, OK?

  • I'm not going to listen an evil version of myself.

  • GOATEE DARBY: Don't be so judgmental.

  • Everybody knows that the sideburns dimension is the

  • evil dimension, not the goatee.

  • DARBY: So what's the goatee dimension?

  • GOATEE DARBY: I don't know, the awesome dimension.

  • Listen, everyone I meet from another dimension is very

  • judgmental.

  • So let's just say that maybe we're the laid back dimension.

  • DARBY: Cool.

  • So what did you want to tell me?

  • GOATEE DARBY: When the big hand strikes 10, again, and

  • again, the riches will be yours.

  • DARBY: Why are you talking like that.

  • Why don't you just talk like a normal person?

  • GOATEE DARBY: There's a difference between knowing the

  • path and walking the path.

  • DARBY: OK, so why don't you just tell me the thing?

  • GOATEE DARBY: If I explain too much, then you won't do what

  • you need to get what you want.

  • DARBY: Oh, so I get a bunch of riches by doing nothing just

  • because you said a weird thing?

  • GOATEE DARBY: That's right.

  • And don't worry about the coffee.

  • DARBY: What coffee, this coffee?

  • GOATEE DARBY: Oh, you were supposed to knock that over.

  • It's fine.

  • Look, I gotta go.

  • I'll see you around.

  • [SCREAMS]

  • DARBY: Riches, huh?

  • Darby, today's your lucky day.

  • DROID: Please enter code.

  • MIKE: What makes you think it's a hardware problem?

  • EDITH: Well, I've tried everything else.

  • It keeps asking for the code.

  • And the password reset is broken.

  • COMPUTER: Attention crew, now entering wormhole.

  • Prepare for reality distortion.

  • DROID: Please enter code.

  • MIKE: I'm going to get some more tools from my workbench.

  • OK, my hand just phased through the door.

  • EDITH: Huh.

  • Yeah, that's never happened before.

  • DARBY: Riches, huh?

  • Darby, today's your lucky day.

  • SIDEBURNS DARBY: I wouldn't say that.

  • DARBY: Sideburns Darby.

  • Are you from the future too?

  • SIDEBURNS DARBY: Sure.

  • But that's not why I'm here.

  • Listen, you need to forget everything that goatee Darby

  • said to you.

  • He set you on a wrong path.

  • DARBY: Oh, he did, did he, evil Darby?

  • SIDEBURNS DARBY: No, no, no, no, you see, good and bad are

  • actually not as black and white as you think, especially

  • if you take into consideration--

  • OK here's a scenario for you.

  • I have three cookies.

  • GOATEE DARBY: Could you sound more guilty?

  • DARBY: Goatee me, you're back.

  • GOATEE DARBY: Just remember what I told you about the

  • sideburn dimension.

  • SIDEBURNS DARBY: You don't have to remember that.

  • All you've got to remember is that if you retire early,

  • you'll retire early.

  • DARBY: I that supposed to set me of some sort of path?

  • SIDEBURNS DARBY: Maybe, I don't know.

  • I'm from the low confidence in advice dimension.

  • DARBY: No, I think that you're evil.

  • I don't fully trust you, either.

  • And you, I don't know why, but I trust you.

  • LEMMY DARBY: Appreciate it, brother.

  • Hey, is there a poker game around here?

  • SIDEBURNS DARBY: Listen, I've done all I can

  • for you, all right?

  • Your fate is up to you.

  • MIKE: OK, we are definitely out of phase with the rest of

  • the universe.

  • It must be that wormhole.

  • EDITH: OK, what are we going to do?

  • Is it permanent?

  • Are we solid it to each other?

  • MIKE: I don't know, let's see.

  • Ow.

  • What'd you do that for?

  • EDITH: I don't know, I'm freaking out, kind of.

  • Darby!

  • MIKE: Ah, he's not going to be able to hear us.

  • DARBY: Hey, what's a payroll Droid doing in here?

  • DROID: Please enter code.

  • DARBY: Big hand strikes 10--

  • 10, 10, 10--

  • [INAUDIBLE].

  • DROID: Payroll wrote dispensed.

  • DARBY: Whoa, 3,200 credits?

  • EDITH: OK, how did he do that?

  • DARBY: Ah, screw you, Sideburns Me.

  • Today is my lucky day.

  • MIKE: OK, the wormhole's obviously made Darby insane.

  • EDITH: No, this is incredible.

  • No one can see or hear us.

  • It's like having a superpower.

  • We should patrol the station.

  • MIKE: No, we should stay right here until we're out of the

  • wormhole, and everything goes back to normal.

  • EDITH: Or we can go see what Dark Lord does in that weird

  • meditation chamber.

  • MIKE: Oh, I have always wondered about that.

  • EDITH: Bridge?

  • MIKE: Let's go.

  • DENNIS 4862: All right, I'm in for five.

  • BRAD: I call that.

  • Can you beat three of a kind?

  • DENNIS 4862: Ha, aww, I had two aces.

  • Now I've got a three and a seven.

  • LEMMY DARBY: My two two's turned into two five's.

  • That's a step in the right direction, brother.

  • MARF: That's wormhole hold 'em.

  • You never know, right?

  • My cards just turned into these pictures of a naked

  • chick riding a wolf.

  • DENNIS 4862: Hey, can I see that wolf, quickly?

  • BRAD: Wah, wah, wah, you bunch of babies.

  • Are we going to play another hand here, or what?

  • I can't believe we're missing the wormhole hold 'em game.

  • EDITH: I can't believe Dark Lord is just a regular old

  • man, minus the eyebrows.

  • MIKE: Yeah, what was with that?

  • He sounds so weird with its mask off.

  • What was that?

  • EDITH: I didn't say anything.

  • MIKE: Yeah you did, you said something about Dark Lord's

  • gross bald head.

  • EDITH: I thought something about Dark

  • Lord's gross bald head.

  • MIKE: I can hear your thoughts now?

  • EDITH: I can hear your thoughts.

  • Oh, that's disgusting.

  • Come on, Mike.

  • Why would you think that?

  • MIKE: I'm thinking things I don't want you

  • to think I'm thinking!

  • EDITH: I don't want to think them either!

  • MARF: I fold.

  • LEMMY DARBY: I fold, too.

  • The Brad in my dimension never bluffs.

  • Well, I got to get out of here before you guys spit out that

  • old wormhole there, so it's a bit of a real great time

  • playing this card game with you.

  • EMILY: Bye, Lemmy Darby, it was nice to meet you.

  • LEMMY DARBY: It was nice to meet you too, Roarke.

  • Cool name, all right, got to get out of here.

  • DENNIS 4862: Aww man, what as nice guy.

  • MARF: I know, and so trustworthy, too.

  • DENNIS 4862: Hey Darby, buddy, come grab a seat.

  • DARBY: Aww, naw, I can't it's getting late.

  • It's already 10 to 10--

  • EMILY: Come on, the hand's already been dealt.

  • DARBY: OK, sure I've got time to play to a hand.

  • I'm all in, 3,200 credits.

  • DENNIS 4862: Whoa.

  • BRAD: Looks like we've got ourselves a real shark at the

  • table, hey, Darby?

  • Are you a shark?

  • You've got to have some sort of a sharky hand to shark out

  • a shark move like that, you shark.

  • MARF: I fold.

  • BRAD: I'm going to call.

  • DENNIS 4862: I fold, too.

  • Shark-- doesn't even sound like a word anymore.

  • EMILY: Fold.

  • DARBY: Four 10's.

  • DENNIS 4862: Oh!

  • BRAD: Peek-a-boo.

  • Peek-a-boo, Darby.

  • With me in the game, I'm a straight flush,

  • which beats four 10's.

  • Oh, I'm a straight flush.

  • Me too, I'm a part of a straight flush.

  • Who's the shark now, Darby.

  • MARF: I don't get it, is shark an insult or not?

  • BRAD: Goatee Darby from the future says, hi.

  • [LAUGH]

  • DARBY: I can't believe I trusted him.

  • MARF: I wouldn't feel too bad about it.

  • The goatee dimension is a bunch of dicks.

  • Most of the other dimensions are pretty cool, though.

  • You know I was once visited by full beard me

  • from the beard dimension.

  • DARBY: Really?

  • MARF: Yeah, we went on an adventure, talked to a giant

  • tree, threw a necklace in a volcano, it was pretty fun.

  • DARBY: What does that make us, the clean-shaven dimension?

  • MARF: Yeah.

  • DARBY: What's our thing?

  • BRAD: We like to shave.

  • DARBY: Yeah, we do.

  • BRAD: Yeah, we do.

  • DAVIN: Hi, this is Davin.

  • Thanks for watching the episode.

  • We would like to start production on season three,

  • but we need your help.

  • We've two things that you can do to support us.

  • Number one, don't forget to share the episode.

  • Hit that share button down there so we can keep our

  • numbers nice and high.

  • But number two, head on over to spacejanitors.com and check

  • out some specific information we have on how you can get

  • involved in the support of season 3.

  • So thanks so much for watching the episode.

  • And I look forward to talking with all you guys in the

  • YouTube comments down below.

-Woohoo.

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