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  • - Oh no, you got some schmutz.

  • Yeah, you got it, I got it.

  • - So, yeah, he called me this meeting.

  • I was super stressed about it and--

  • - Oh, I'm so sorry, my mom is calling.

  • - Just call her back.

  • - I can't, she'll think I'm dead.

  • Hi Mommy!

  • - I am so excited for Christmas this year.

  • What are you guys doing for Hanukkah?

  • - Uh, when's Hanukkah?

  • - I have no idea, it's really just whenever

  • my Grandma sends me a check in the mail.

  • - Do you guys ever think about

  • what you're gonna do for your wedding?

  • - Yeah, I'm probably gonna just recreate my bat mitzvah.

  • Maybe I'll, like, marry a goy and spice things up.

  • - What's a goy?

  • - You.

  • Do you guys like this jacket?

  • - Ooh, Burberry, you're being a real JAP today!

  • - Gaby, you cannot say that!

  • - No, it's fine, I know I'm

  • a JAP. It means Jewish American princess.

  • - My favorite boys name is Mark.

  • Like, I would love to name a kid Mark.

  • My dad's name is Mark, so I can't, 'cause my dad'll die.

  • - Wait, what?

  • - Oh, there's a thing that you can't name a baby

  • after a relative who's alive,

  • otherwise the spirit'll get confused or something

  • and, like, kill the live relative.

  • - That seems a little harsh.

  • - I don't know, you guys have hell.

  • - Do I look fershimmeled?

  • - Do you want to look fershimmeled?

  • - No.

  • - Oh, then you don't.

  • - Good.

  • - Yeah.

  • - Cheers.

  • - Ugh, this is so sweet, tastes like Manischewitz.

  • - Mmm, this is good, where can I get some of this?

  • - I don't know, like, Gaby's mom's house at Passover.

  • - Ugh, do you mind schlepping back

  • to my car to get my sunglasses?

  • - What does that involve exactly?

  • - We just walk but we complain about it.

  • - Oh.

  • - So this is my latest one,

  • and it's a matching one with my friend.

  • - Super cute.

  • Allison, would you ever get a tattoo?

  • No, I want to be buried with the rest of my family.

  • - Well, I better get back to pretending I'm working.

  • - Yeah, get out of here.

  • - Bye.

  • What is his deal, is he single?

  • - Yes, but he's not Jewish.

  • - Whatever.

  • - Don't your parents care about that?

  • - Does he vote Democrat and have a job?

  • - Yes.

  • - Well, the kids'll be Jewish anyway.

  • I'm gonna go ask him to buy me dinner.

  • - Okay.

  • - She's a huge JAP, call her a JAP.

  • - No.

  • - It's okay!

  • - I can't say that!

  • - Say I'm the biggest JAP that you know.

  • - Oy, you guys, I cannot.

  • - You guys wanna go find a good deal?

  • - Let's do that.

- Oh no, you got some schmutz.

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