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  • I really wanted to teach you how to masturbate but I've been telling myself, "'There's too

  • much to it! Like what about teaching you hygiene and where to find things on your body? What

  • lubes to use, and toys, if any? And how am I possibly going to demo this without being

  • pornographic or being a prude?"

  • I was creating barriers for making a masturbation video the same way that people create barriers

  • for masturbating.

  • We're moving on!

  • [Intro]

  • Here's what you'll need; people all around the planet, even in space, can masturbate

  • with just this. Even if they don't have water, food, privacy, or scented candles, it can

  • still happen. It's like soccer...football, where you don't need fancy cleats or a brand-name

  • ball to play the field.

  • Simple thrusting can give you a sense of pressure and rhythm. It can also be less tiresome to

  • wield your hips than your wrist. But prone position masturbation can lead to difficulty

  • climaxing and having partnered sex. This is what some people call traumatic masturbatory

  • syndrome, or TMS.

  • Try this instead: hand on crotch. At least when you're in private. My culture is one

  • of sexual modesty. Let your genitals get familiar with being touched. Do it over your clothing

  • if you need to; breathe.

  • Start now while watching this video! Even though multi-tasking might not be romantic,

  • it's a great way to feel more comfortable touching your body because your attention

  • is elsewhere. It's up here.

  • When you ARE ready for an all out session with yourself, clean up! Set the mood! I want

  • you to create a tantalizing ambiance for your sexy self. Some place comfortable and private

  • where you feel like you could make all the noise you need to!

  • Make the bed. File your nails. Take a shower; moisturize. Brush your teeth. Do all the things

  • you hope a sex partner would do before hooking up with you.

  • [whispering] 'Cause you are your sex partner!

  • Plan for an hour even if you want a quickie. Who knows, maybe your lover wants to keep

  • going and going and going! You know, I suggest playing an album, something with passion,

  • like Tori Amos or D'Angelo, and letting the music keep time for you.

  • Position yourself so that all of this is facing outward. Standing, kneeling, lounging. I pick

  • lounging. Then, clothes on or off, start touching! Patting, stroking, rubbing, pinching, tapping,

  • slapping, stretching, scratching, kneading, flicking, twisting, pulling, pricking, tickling.

  • With all this action, blood will rush in, and we want this blood to be oxygenated so

  • you're going to breathe. Breathe like you have a runner's high; breathe like you hear

  • in the movies. Breathing is the number one skill taught by sexological body workers to

  • enhance sexual experiences.

  • Moan those breaths, hold them. Blast them out, then take short ones, and slow ones,

  • quick ones. Just don't pass out! Match your strokes with your breath and then disconnect

  • them like a rebel. Do whatever you want, so long as you keep contact.

  • Change touch types and locations. Get your whole body into it and then maybe linger on

  • the thighs. This experience is about you as a lover. Fantasize about you.

  • When you come across the "whoa!" stay there. Now the variation is in speed. Faster movements

  • for heightened arousal and slower movements for wider arousal. Check in with your body,

  • make sure that it's not getting chafed or raw. Move around, keep it interesting, and

  • make sure you do this again and again over time. Masturbation is a part of your self-care

  • down there.

  • Sleep, eat, hydrate, masturbate!

  • Thursday's video will be me answering questions about masturbation. I will be on a jet plane

  • to Iceland! Please come visit me!

  • If you're planning on attending the meet-up in Iceland, please check out the Facebook

  • event page. I'll be going to the Phallological Museum where I'm going to stay curious.

I really wanted to teach you how to masturbate but I've been telling myself, "'There's too

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