My name is Tyler Oakley, and I am here with

the one and only Sawyer Hartman!

- Hi!

- I know that Christmas was a couple days ago

but that doesn't mean that we can't

get into the Christmas spirit

the only way we know how.

We are going to be playing a little game.

Are you familiar with the 12 Days of Christmas?

- Yeah, the partridges. - [Tyler] Yes, yes, yes.

Each day, somebody gave somebody some gifts, okay,

so like a partridge in a pear tree, five golden rings, etc.

So we are going to be trying to figure out

how much each day's worth of gifts would actually cost,

so we are going to write down on our whiteboards

how much we think it is. - [Sawyer] Okay.

- [Tyler] And the person furthest from the real price--

- [Sawyer] Drinks. - [Tyler] has to drink.

First day, a partridge in a pear tree.

How much do you think that costs?

- How big is the tree? - [Tyler] Listen.

- What the fuck is a partridge?

- (laughs) It's a bird!

- [Sawyer] I thought it was a fruit.

- Oh my.

- I always wondered why there would be

a partridge in a pear tree. - [Tyler] The pear--

- [Sawyer] Shouldn't there be pears there?

Not partridges...

It sounds like cartridge. - [Tyler] A bird.

- Alright, a bird in a tree.

What's your price on that?

Four foot, five foot, six foot tree?

I need to know these things.

- I'm thinking like a nice subtle three foot.

- A shrub? - [Tyler] A shrub.

- [Sawyer] So a bush? - [Tyler] A Christmas shrub.

- [Sawyer] A bird in a bush?

- A bird in a bush, how much you think?

- Okay, I got it. - A rotisserie chicken...

- Nope, I got it - [Tyler] Is like 3.99-

Ready, I said two thousand dollars.

- I said 350, it's a fucking bird in a bush.

- I want like a nice ass bird.

- It's not a gold bird wearing a Louis Vuitton necklace.

- 200 dollars. - Yeah! Drink, bitch!

What do you want, what's your poison?

- I don't know.

- Are you going to mix it with the nog?

- Well, yeah, you have to. (laughs)

Don't ever ask me a question like that.

Okay, a little bit of this.

Oh, that does not look good.

Count me down. - Three, two, one.

Whoa.... - [Tyler] Merry Christmas!

- [Sawyer] What, is that not good?

Nog isn't good?

No, you don't like that?

- It's really good.

- If you can't handle the consistency,

I know I can't handle the consistency.

- [Tyler] 11 more, let's go.

Okay, number two, two turtle doves.

These are also birds.

- Do they come with a cage?

Is it a bundle deal?

- I'm thinking, like, yes. - [Sawyer] Alright.

- [Tyler] 500 dollars. - [Sawyer] 210.

- 125, are you kidding? - [Sawyer] (cheers)

Oh my god, this is a great night!

- I guess I'm going to go with the Fireball.

- Ah, geez.

You are just going to be sloppy.

You're going to be trolling Grindr tonight.

- (laughs) That's true.

- Three, two, one, and take it.

There you go, you're getting all smokey eyed.

- Okay! - What's on the third day?

- Three French hens.

These are all birds.

- The dude who wrote this has a serious bird fetish.

- You know what a furry is?

- Yeah, it's when they dress up

as a stuffed animal and then fuck.

That's right, right? - [Tyler] I mean, yeah.

- I wouldn't even know where to shop

for one French hen. - [Tyler] France!

Okay, what did you say?

- 827 dollars.

- I said 299.

- Is it fucking on sale?

- Oh, yes, it's 165!

Time for you to drink, pick a drink.

- I'm going to go with... - [Tyler] Pick a drink.

Three, two, okay.

Cauli-birds?

- Cauli-birds? Like made of cauliflower?

A cauliflower dwelling bird?

- Yeah, a bird that lives in a cauliflower.

- Well, I don't know how big a cauliflower is.

- Neither do I.

Four cauli-birds. - Four of them?

- Four.

- Well, say they're like 27.99 each.

- Okay, well, you know a cauli-bird, in this economy.

Outrageous.

- You know Kanye West had a cauli-bird

in his concert though.

- Before you keep talking, absolutely don't.

- Why is that racist, what's racist?

- I didn't say it was racists.

It's not even offensive!

I said, 200 dollars. - 110.

- Oh, very close call.

- Come on, four calling-- Fuck you!

- Yes, 519 dollars and 96 cents.

Oh, that is curdling like--

- Have you ever seen American Pie?

It's like when the guy jizzes all up in the beer

and the girl drinks it.

- Three, two, you're not going to be okay with that.

- It's slippery. - [Tyler] (laughs)

She loves it.

- Does this have gluten?

- Hey, gluten.

Five golden rings, the first non-bird.

I'm talking Kay Jewelers, Medawar Jewelers.

- Medawar? - She went to...

Oh, she went to Jared.

Jared. - He went to Jared.

- She went, equality!

- I buy my beautiful girls platinum and diamonds.

I don't know about the gold.

You know.

- Well, I buy aluminum.

- Excuse me, do you have recyclable plastic?

- Excuse me, does this ring have gluten?

I say 700 dollars. - 1000.

Okay, did you mark my carpet?

You know how I feel about my carpet.

- I know, geez.

- You have to eat my ass if you did.

750! That's you drinking, bitch.

Pour a shot, pour a shot, pour a shot.

- Oh, lord.

- Three, two, one.

Merry Christmas.

(laughs)

Six geese a laying, 1,130. - 69 dollars.

It's a happy 69.

- Oh, that's really fucking tender.

Christmas is all about giving back,

so like when somebody is eating your ass,

you eat their ass too.

- 210 dollars, you drink.

- Shit, I'm a gonna drink.

- Jesus. - Did somebody say Cheez Its?

I would kill for a Cheez It.

- Three, two, 14, 24, six, 48, zero, one, go.

12, 11, sorry just kidding.

Go, man, I'm waiting on you.

- Seven swans a swimming.

- Fucking... this should be called

the drunk bird fetish challenge.

- What the fuck, how much--

This is the what the fuck does a bird cost challenge?

- I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.

Alright, I'm good, I'm good.

Write yours down.

- Did you put one dollar?

- No, I didn't.

Oh, I love that word, a gaggle.

A gaggle of geese.

Imagine if I text a girl,

yo, yeah, I'm with a gaggle of my homies.

- A squad of geese is called a gaggle.

You know that, right?

Bitch, you know that.

When you say I'm with my gaggle,

she knows what the fuck's up,

you fucking dick sucking bitch.

Seven swans a swimming.

- Fucking write a number!

- All I can think of is 20.

I'm going to go with a good solid 908 dollars.

- 169.

Seven swans a swimming costs 7,000 dollars.

I win, take a shot on three, two, one.

Eight maids a milking, so we're talking fucking women.

- So that's like hand job price.

- Eight women. - [Sawyer] Is this Vegas, or--

- I'm talking eight maids nipple pulling.

Milk coming out, squirt job realness.

That's hefty. - [Sawyer] Milking?

- You're taking out a mother fucking loan, bitch.

- (burps) Eww, that doesn't taste good.

Alright, I'm ready, I'm ready, 2,000.

- 11,000.

58 dollars?!

I guess I overshot.

- Go on, Tyler, you got it.

- (burps)

- Okay, so nine ladies dancing.

We already know how much a working woman costs.

I went to a strip club once.

My stripper's name was Skyler, so we bonded over that

because rhyming, and she had a gay brother

and while she was grinding her junk all over my junk

and she was trying to set me up with him,

and she was like "Oh my god, you have seven mutual friends!"

1,010 dollars. - [Sawyer] 360 bucks.

- Okay, we are talking 7,553 dollars.

Take a drink, mother fucker, I am closer.

Drink.

10 lords a leaping.

Literally, jumping boys.

(giggles)

(cackles)

11,000 dollars. - 5,000 dollars.

Oh no, you got the closer one.

- Yeah, 5,200!

- Pour me a shot.

11 pipers piping.

There's crumbs all over my whiteboard.

- I wonder why!

You're eating a subway uponth it--

- Uponth it?

- Yes. - Okay, slow down.

- On top of or above.

- Okay, shushkabob.

801 dollars. - 7,000 dollars.

Wait, I'm closer!

2,635 and 20 cents, drink.

- I would just like to say, you know,

pipers out there, I am sorry.

- 12 drummers drumming, how much does it cost?

3,015 dollars.

- Five K, bitch!

- Okay, we are very close, both of us.

The answer is 2,854 dollars.

Drink, bitch.

Merry Hanukkah!

Hey, Hanukkah!

- What about Kwanza, you racist fuck?

- The 12 days of Christmas are so expensive.

There are so many birds.

There are so many human traffickings.

Happy Holidays is all I'm saying.

- Come check out my video.

- Good luck with your life.

- Thumbs up this video, because it can go viral

because it's...

- In what fucking world are you living in?

- Wait, maybe. (laughs)

- Okay, so have a good life.

If you like this, push like.

If you didn't, then fuck off.

Also, go check out Sawyer's video.

It's amazing, and have a good laugh, and...

- Bye! - [Tyler] Bye! (laughs)

Ouch, my god! - (laughs)

Ouch.

Oh my god, that was a hate crime.

- He's trying to beam himself down

and shine his light through you.

- Oh my god, beam me up Jesus.

I think I'm drunk.