Lets talk about that.

♪ (theme music) ♪

- Good mythical morning. - Thank you.

You. For making us a part of your daily routine.

One of the beautiful things about living in the future, modern times is that you

can go on the internet, find something that you don't need, that you never wanted,

- Uh-huh. - become convinced that you want it,

hit a button, order it and have it show up at your doorstep the next day.

- Or you can watch this show and have us - Beautiful.

ram it down your throats and say that you gotta have this stupid thing that doesn't

- exist. - Didn't know that was gonna happen.

- alright, I'm pretty excited about these - Proceed.

- things, can I go with the first one? - You should go with the first one.

- Do I have the first one? - Yes.

I'm going into infomercial mode.

- ♪ (commercial music) ♪ - (Link talking like a salesman)

Golf courses are expansive and no one wants to get caught in a back nine with their

pants down but your bladder is screaming "Fore!" and you're half a mile away from

the nearest bathroom, so what do you do? Pee on the green in privacy with the "UroClub."

- What? - This is not a dance hole for slow box,

this is a golf club that you pee in. You take the cap off this thing and you

- pee in it. - Hey listen, I have played golf before

and I've had to pee before and it's a little embarrassing but you find a tree,

- you don't pee into a club. - Well listen, they have an amazingly

informative infomercial but like I said, you unscrew the tipple seal and you just

fill it up with up to like have a liter of urine.

And the the guy's sitting there with his-- with a towel down there

- Oh yeah-- - "Hey Bob, what are you doing?"

"I'm just lining it up." "What are you lining up?"

- "I'm lining up the putt, I mean the chip." - They call it a "privacy towel."

So, it's like you're putting but there's a towel draped over your hands.

And then you discreetly relieve yourself in front of everyone.

This isn't very discreet. Trust me.

If Bob starts doing this I know exactly--

- What about is it sound proof? - (laughs)

- I'm gonna hear the thing filling up. - Well, the thing I don't know is why does

it fill up? Why doesn't it just run out and

- Fertilize. - fertilize the place?

Because it would be kinda awkward to have the end of your club dribbling like that

- (both laugh) - on the course.

But you must get it! It's only $20!

- (Link) Yeah, $19.95 plus $17.99 shipping - Totally worth it.

There's prank opportunities, like "here, use my seven iron."

he like whips it and then all of a sudden he's got

- urine all over his golf vest. - Oh, yeah, I'm not into that.

- How 'bout this? - ♪ (commercial music) ♪

Droopy nose got you down? Can your friends not admire your dainty

nostrils? The portable beauty lift high nose electric

nose lifter massage. Removes black heads.

(laughs) Yes. That is the official name on the internet.

- (laughs) - It's just what you need!

- What? - You can see this thing being applied to

a woman's nose. Apparently you put this on your nose,

- (Link) She looks so happy. - (Rhett) It vibrates and you just wear it

three minutes a day and it'll make your nose go up and come in.

It makes your nose more attractive apparently.

- This is what-- - How much is it?

Link, it's-- Listen It's a bargain at 170 dollars.

Actually, 169.99. Only five dollars shipping.

Even if it doesn't work, you could take a chance for that low low

- price. Right? - So it's basically a 180 dollar nose job.

- Yeah, but listen-- - Do it at home.

- It's like a home perm for your nose. - Michael on Amazon says,

"Stay away!" in his one star reviews. He says,

"It's not mechanical enough to fit to a nose and with vibrations re-shape it."

- What? (laughs) - That's what Michael said.

- It's pretty bad when somebody-- - It's not mechanical enough!

Someone who would leave such an unarticulated review still gives it one star.

He also said, "It's a waiste of money,"

- and he spelled 'waiste' like this waist. - But he's--

- Like my waist. He added an 'e'. - I do see he added an ''e', so.

He was like, "I'm gonna cover all my waist bases."

- Waste-ey. It's a waste-ey of money. - And it removes black heads.

- Did I say that? It's in the title. - The vibration like makes them crawl

- out or something? - Link, it's a portable beauty lift

high nose electric nose lifter massager. Removes blackheads.

- I mean it doesn't seem better than this. - Enough said.

That is a mouth-- That's a nose full.

I got one. As we all know every watermelon is a party

wrapped in striped green skin and now you can brink that party with you using the

"Murugoto Tamachan" portable watermelon cooler.

- (laughs) Look at this thing. - Why do I need this?

Because you want to keep your watermelon cool in the summer and warm in the winter.

It looks like because I wanna send my watermelon to Mars.

It's like look at that guy, he's pushing a watermelon life support system.

- (laughs) It's like what is this thing? - Is this a prize winning watermelon

No, it's just the one I brought for everybody to enjoy.

- I'm gonna cut it open in a couple hours. - It can also cool or warm up other things

- besides watermelon but who cares. - Like a human head?

Yeah, I guess so, you can put a

- head in there. - Maybe a cantaloupe.

And it's retractable, it's like got one of those like airport suitcase retractable things.

- Well surely if this thing is affordable, - It's a carry on.

like 20 bucks I'll definitely be getting one,

- how much does it cost? - 19,950 yen which is approximately

- $230. - Oh people listen, it pays for itself and

all the watermelons thaat you save. What?

Who's ever had a watermelon go bad with a day at the park?

I didn't say it preserves it, it just keeps it cool.

- Optimal temperature for eating. - Okay, how about this?!

♪ (commercial music) ♪

Why just train your kid to poop properly when you can train them to poop and play

on an iPad at the same time? The iPotty!

It is what it looks like, Link, this is just a little toilet for your kid

that's training to learn how to poop like an adult.

Which as well know, every adult poops with a screen in their hands.

- Yeah they do. - I mean, lets just be honest here.

Right so we're going ahead and getting it started.

And in case you were wondering yes it does come with a touch screen protector.

- Sometimes I get my iPad or iPhone back - A poop guard.

from my kids and I'm like "Did you take snot from your nose and purposely apply it

to this device?" I don't know how they get stuff--

I can only imagine if they were in the pooper but this thing will be

- "In the pooper." - Shepherd will get in the pooper,

sometimes he's got one leg in, I don't know.

- (laughs) He's straddling it. - Anyway, it's two-in-one,

this thing converts from a potty trainer to an activity seat so your kid will learn

- to poop and play in the same place. - So then as it get older whenever he works

on an iPad or any type of tablet he'll just instinctively like, start pooping his pants

- as an adult - Yeah.

But Link I've got one better. You've heard of the iPotty because I just

told you about it but well the fun isn't just for kids anymore!

- ♪ (commercial music) ♪ Introducing the "CTA digital pedestal stand

- for iPad with TP roll holder! - Yeah!

Yes, so adults can get in on the fun. Now I can't tell you how many times--

I can poop with like it right here in my face and then the

- TP is down here? - Yeah.

Yeah and you don't have to put down your iPad to wipe which is really one of the

- biggest pet peeves in my life. - Right.

(Link) I definitely fear that I'm gonna wipe my butt with my phone.

- You can pick one up on Amazon. - "Hey dad--"

- Can I go to the next one? - Yeah.

- Hey dad! - ♪ (commercial music) ♪

Save your money on that pony your kids keep asking for and let them safely ride

on your back instead with the Daddle. This is a dad

- (both) saddle. - 41 dollars an 82 cents.

Free shipping on Amazon. Put a saddle on your back and then

let your kid-- I mean, the whole point of--

I ride my kids around on my back, The whole point is

- to make them fall. - You ride your kids?

- You should put the kids on the back. - I said--

- (crew laughs) - You're gonna hurt the kids.

- I said I ride my kids on my back. - Oh. Oh. That means they ride you.

- Yeah. - I'm in semantics here,

- but they're riding you. - Yeah.

- I'm the horse. - You're the dad.

- I'm the horse, they're the kid. - Yeah. You need the Daddle.

- Or the person. - Do you need a Daddle?

The jockey. No because the whole point is, you let them fall off crying,

then they don't keep asking to get on your back.

- Yeah. They don't need something to hold on. - Right. Not to be used on moms.

- Oh, what happened? - Just a note there.

- But what happened I mean? - Well it's called Daddle.

- It's not called Maddle. - Shepard gets on my back and he says,

- "Let's play 'Where's Shepard?'." - (Link and crew laugh)

But he's on my back. He's six years old and he wants to play it

- all the time. - Press on.

Ever have the craving for tube like shape of a hot dog but you still want the all

American taste of a hamburger? Crave no more with the "KitchenArt

ham dogger!"

- Ham dogger? - This is-- ham dogger, yeah.

This is the perfect compromise for our debate for somebody who can't decide

- whether they like hot dogs or burgers. - Right.

It's pretty simple. This basically just takes hamburger meat

and makes it into the shape of a hot dog. I guess you could put any kind of meat you

want in there and make anything into a hot dog.

Which means you can only have to buy one type of bun.

You're like "what are you having tonight, kids?"

"well, we're technically having hamburgers but we got hot dog buns so we're having

- ham dogs." - So you're a fan of this one?

- No, I'm just trying to sell it. - Oh.

I don't get a piece of it but you can get one for $7.79 and free shipping on orders

over 35 on Amazon. So you can get four of these things and

- get them free, free shipping. - This is not the type of ting I ever

- found myself wanting. - Well, maybe this'll help you

- That's kinda the point I guess. - this will help you with your decision,

- Link. - Okay.

Ray on Amazon says with three stars "So-so, tubular hamburgers were not a big

hit with the kids." Ray, it's because you called them

- "tubular hamburgers." - "Hey, kids these are totally tubular."

- "Narly." - No, he sounded like he was getting a

little too scientific with the kids. It's like "kids we're having ham dogs

tonight." Try it again, Ray.

- Wow. - And you'll go up to four stars, I'm sure.

♪ (commercial music) ♪ If a kindergartner can wipe his own butt

why can't your dog? Save yourself the embarrassment of cleaning

up after your d-o-g's doody by strapping a bag to their hiney with "PooTrap."

Now, first time I saw this I thought it was poot rap which I would also buy.

- Huh, I'd buy poot rap. - It sounds like a trendy little diddy.

- A single. - Yes, this is basically a series of straps

that positions a plastic bag under your dogs tail.

It's embarrassing enough to have to clean up after your dog when he does it but

at least it's momentary. This makes the embarrassment of your dog

pooping just be carried throughout you entire day.

- What did-- - "What's that on your dog?"

- "It's the PooTrap" - To clarify though, once he does do his

business you just pull this like thing that sintches it and then--

(whoosh noise) it just like, comes loose and it's like a magic trick.

- And then it has a harness on his butt? - Yeah.

With no trap anymore? What if he needs to go again?

I mean that's what I saw-- And then you have to put another one

- on there. - I'm not doing that.

(Link) PooTrap, it's $38 for the smallest size, $59 for the big one plus you get 30

bags for like four to five dollars, four to six dollars.

I don't know. I wouldn't want my dog to--

- I don't know, man. - "I don't know."

You don't seem like you're really selling