(body slams against ground) (crowd yells)

- That boy got turnt, though.

(robust dance/rap music)

- UFC gym. Sears Outlet.

I know where I'm going.

- Today we are here at a UFC gym to meet

some professional UFC fighters and fight each other.

(yelling and screaming) (playful background music)

- I have no fighting experience,

I got punched in the nose once in fifth grade.

- I've hurt someone's feelings.

- Apparently, Eugene has trained in martial arts.

That's not fair.

- (laughs) I feel like Zach might squeal

like a little piggy and it really excites me.

- If nobody gets hurt, that's a miracle.

(aggressive rock music)

What I know about UFC.

People from all kind of fighting backgrounds

come into an octagon and they,

hang out for three minutes or so.

- When I watch it on YouTube, it gets me going.

- So yeah, if I'm going to be beat up by anybody,

it might as well be a UFC champion, right?

- I'm Chuck, "The Iceman", Liddell,

former UFC light-heavyweight champ.

- Hi Chuck!

- UFC broke onto the scene in 1993,

as just a way to battle different styles against each other.

What we found out is, the best style is

a combination, is putting them all together.

- When you reach the UFC, you're the top of the top.

- And I feel like it's the true physical

and mental game of chess.

- Kicking ass is what I do for a living.

- [Everyone] Whoooooo.

- People like to watch other people fight.

- For us, how can we possibly do well at this?

- I mean, I'm lookin at you guys have the body of a god.

- You mean like Cupid?

- Like Zeus baby.

- Zeus? - [Anthony] - Zeus,

my man right here, you gonna be Zeus.

(robust dance/rap music)

- [Bruce Buffer] Anthonyyyy "Rumble" Johnsonnnnn.

- When I get ready for a fight,

or when I'm walking to the cage,

I don't think about anything,

I just know I got somebody I gotta beat up.

- Just get zen.

- Yeah, I'm like it's just a fight.

What's the worst that can happen?

(punches landing)

- [Voiceover] Oh, another big shot. Another one.

- I can think of some pretty bad things that could happen.

- Are you like scared to get hit?

- Absolutely.

(foot hitting pad)

(laughing and yelling)

- Cause when I punch people, I don't punch them

just to give 'em a little love tap. (screams)

- Oh, oh my god.

- When I punch 'em I'm actually trying to hurt them

with every single bit of my soul.

(punches landing on bag)

- Yeah.

One, two.

- Percentage-wise strength, what are you at right now?

- Ten.

(laughing)

- You want to go to 50?

- I could, but I don't want to break your shoulder.

- Any last words--

- Wait, can we all kick Zach real quick?

(kicks landing on pad)

- Owww.

- And I'm back.

- And you're back.

- And I'm back.

- So, first and foremost,

tell us how you got into the sport.

- I went to college, tried to play soccer and,

I hated it.

- Wrestled in high school, wrestled in college.

- So soccer just wasn't violent enough?

- I think it was like the first time

I ever knocked the goalie down I was like, wait a minute.

- You know, they gettin' a good workout,

they can defend themself on the streets,

I was like, I'ma give this a shot.

- And, just from Day 1, I just fell in love with it.

- A guy saw me and he goes,

"hey, want to learn how to do Mixed Martial Arts?".

I said, "sure why not?", and started taking classes,

and that's how it began.

- I come here and lift the arm up,

go underneath the crotch.

- I hate this, I hate this.

- [Bruce Buffer] Lightweight champion of the world,

Mighty Mouse.

- Do you think it's gonna be really easy

or really hard to take down somebody as strong as me?

- Uh, very easy actually.

- (screams) Oh, no! My brain!

- Is this fucking amateur hour right now?

- It is. It's definitely amateur hour.

No, I missed my guard!

- It's always better to, make somebody give up and tap out

because it's like, "fuck, you got me".

- When you go here, you want to massage the achilles tendon,

and when you have it, you go here.

(screams in agony)

- That hurts so much.

- Now, what I gonna do is I'm gonna take his foot,

and put it in my armpit.

And I'm going here and I'm just gonna fall down.

- Like this.

(crowd yells)

What's your tactic?

- I will take it somewhere,

to where the other person is not good.

So, when you're here, his objective is to posture up.

And I can jump up here.

I do not endorse this at all, ok.

This right here I do not endorse.

- On the flip side, what was your worst personal injury?

- I got cut and it was, probably started from like here,

all the way down to my cheek.

- I broke my rib in a Muay Thai fight.

- Had my eyeball split open.

(nauseated groans)

- What!?

- And I remember walking back to the corner,

it would just pop in and out, and I would just be like,

and when I would breathe, I'd be like...

- And his finger went right in my eye.

(nauseated groans)

Yeah, they showed a replay, and you can see

where the guys finger goes missing in my eye.

(screams of disgust)

- What's the worst injury you've ever had?

- I got my penis caught in my zipper.

(painful groans)

- Oh, no!

- Not in a fight?

- No, that smokes it all.

- [Bruce Buffer] Chris Weiiiiidmannnn.

- I don't know if I've ever met anyone

who's a champion, of anything.

- Don't let me intimidate you. Come on.

- [Voiceover] And he got it. Just like that.

- I actually have a broken pinky right now.

- That's pretty bad, man.

- I figured I can dance around and I can kick a lot.

(kicks landing)

- The first kick we're gonna do

is the real basic, Muay Thai, kick.

(screams in pain)

I gotta step out on an angle,

which opens up my hips to turn my body.

(grunts)

(kick landing)

- Do you ever do jumping kicks?

- Yeah, you can do jumping kicks.

(knee landing)

(screams and laughter)

- My wife really didn't want me to do this today.

- So that means she cares for you.

- Yeah, that's true. - [Chris] That's nice,

my wife would probably make me do this,

just so I feel pain.

Grab the neck. - [Ned] Oh God.

- Nice and tight, you can shake them a little bit.

It comes down to who's smarter, it's all about deception.

Is your wife gonna like this?

- Yeah, I think so.

(grunts of pain)

- Alright, there you go. (laughing)

- I got, thrown around like a rag doll.

- What do you think is a really big misconception about UFC?

- Especially when we came in,

everyone thought we were a bunch of neanderthals.

- At the top of the game,

I have never met a guy who is a dumb guy.

- I mean, I have a degree in accounting for Christ's sake.

- You know, they expect us to be mean,

and when they realize, like, we're just normal people.

- You seem like a cool, down to earth dude.

- Yeah, we're not like that.

- Like, I'd go to the movies with you.

- I'd go to the movies with you too. What you wanna watch?

- I'm a normal person, I just like fighting

in an octagon in front of thousands of people, who wouldn't?

- [Bruce Buffer] Jessica "Evil" Eyeeeeeee.

- Every fight starts standing up.

When we hear that bell, we come out swinging.

(body slams into ground)

(crowd yells)

- The wonderful champ, Ronda Rousey, loves to do throws.

We're gonna do a counter to a throw, ok?

So as you try to throw me this way,

I'm gonna back drop you.

(laughter)

You see that? Did you catch that? I'll do it again.

This leg drops back down.

(body slams against ground)

So you use their momentum as soon as they

try to pull you over, you fall with them.

That's beautiful!

Look, and you're in dominant position right there

for judging.

I grab it here, I'm gonna step in...

(groans and laughter)

Now, once I've got you here, I'm gonna keep you there,

and I'm just gonna punch and strike.

(screams sarcastically)

This is called ground and pound.

- Ground and pound.

- Yeah. If I'm the one on the cage,

instead I'm gonna fish it up this way,

and bring his face back.

They make this bone, right here, for that.

Face lock.

So again-- - [Everyone] Face lock.

Face lock. Face lock.

(laughs)

- [Keith] Beautiful.

- [Zach] Perfect.

- But today Chuck and Jessica Eye

are going to officiate our matches.

- Well, I'm hoping we don't have to laugh at you too much.

- No matter who I fight, at best,

I'm 40 pounds lighter than them.

- Feel like, Eugene would laugh at me a lot.

- I would hold back against Ned's right pinky.

Everything else is fair game.

- Bam! One pop in the nose and he's gonna be like,

"whoa whoa whoa".

- If he's gonna put me in holds , I'm gonna fart.

I'm gonna fart my way out of the situation.

- I don't wanna hurt any of these people.

I love these guys. I don't want to hurt them

and I don't want them to hurt me.

I'm gonna be fighting Keith,

because we're both the gentlest.

- And, I'll fight Ned

'cause we're both the most aggressive.

- I don't think that's gonna work for me.

He's way too big for you.

- Oh, so we have to go by weight class?

- You're gonna fight, him.

- N-No.

- And you're gonna fight him.

- That's who I didn't want to fight.

- Or you can all fight me.

- [Jessica] Squirrel versus Great White Tree.

Today, we are in this octagon

to fight for one, three-minute round.

- I'm fighting Ned.

Great, I get the one who lives off adrenaline.

I love you.