[Mmmmm...]

-Wow, this is a really nice place! -Thanks!

Look, Dan...

There's something I have to tell you... I...lied about my age.

Your profile said you weren't interested in girls under 21, but...

-We had so much in common, and-- -Woah, woah, just...

How old ARE you?!

20.

That's totally fine!!

You know, I actually lied to you a little bit too.

-You did? -Yeah...

My name's not actually Dan.

It's...it's Jane.

Yeah! Not many girls wanna go out with a guy called Jane!

Don't worry about it! I'm not actually a natural brunette!

I can't even speak French! I don't know why I lied about that one!

I'm not actually a woman!!

What?!

Is that bad?

-I'm sorry, we were opening up... -Sorry...you're not actually a woman?!

Yeah, it's just, like, a lot of makeup. I REALLY like you...

-Why would you... -We just had so much in common!

OH! We kissed...

[Sigh] I'm sorry.

You know what, it's fine. To be honest... I'm not even a man!

-Seriously?! -Yeah!

Wow. Okay... I guess we're back where we started from?

You know what? Let's just pick up where we left off.

Fine!

Oh, wait. Do you have a condom?

-Everything alright? -Uhh, condoms, condoms...

Yeah, not my dress!

-Know the feeling! Not even my house! -WHAT?!

What are you people doing in my house?!

-We're not robbing you! -Yes! I am the painter!

And I'm the VCR repair man!

I don't HAVE a VCR!

I can fix that.

You know what? Don't bother. BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY ROBBING THIS PLACE.

Well I guess it's a good job that I'm actually an UNDERCOVER COP.

-[gasps] -And THAT right there is my partner.

Uhhh...

Sorry, sweetheart, but I'm not your partner...

I'm his.

No! Wait, so you're gay?

-No? -Actually that does make us gay.

What?!

[off screen] What a twist!

Who are you?!

Oh, I'm Jack. You all thought I was a lamp...

But I'm actually... not a lamp...what?!

-I'm sorry, what is actually going on here? -I thought you said this sketch would make sense?

I lied...I lied to you all.

-What?! -Sorry, that 'action' was for me, right?!