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  • -Hey-hey, everybody!

  • Hmm, what's that? There's something on my head?

  • Oh, no. It's not a booger or something, is it?

  • [laughs] Just kidding. I know what it is.

  • And I'm wearing it because today's game is one

  • I've been looking forward to for a long time.

  • I might have gotten a little addicted to it.

  • I might have had my mom make me

  • a cosplay costume for all the characters. [laughs]

  • Okay. Without further ado--

  • I hope you're ready, fruit- lovers--

  • 'cause it's time to play...

  • Clash of Clans! Whoo-hoo! [chuckles] Yeah!

  • Aw, thank you, computer. I'm very happy to be back.

  • [laughs]

  • Ooh, I wanna show you guys around my base real quick, okay?

  • Pretty cool, right?

  • I hired someone to come in and make it all feng-shui and stuff.

  • [laughs] Just kidding. But I could if I wanted to.

  • I mean, look at all those gold mines.

  • Am I right? Am I right?

  • I'm right! [laughs]

  • Ooh-ooh! Over here. Giants and goblins and fire!

  • Oh, my! [laughs] Full, huh?

  • Yeah, they're full of something. [laughs]

  • They really shouldn't be playing around a fire pit like that.

  • It's just not safe. Not safe at all.

  • Ooh! See over there by the town hall?

  • My Barbarian King just walking around like he owns the place.

  • Oh, wait. He kinda actually does. [laughs]

  • [Barbarian King growls] [imitates growl]

  • I love it when he says [growl].

  • Everyone, meet the Archer Queen. Archer Queen, meet everyone.

  • [laughs] Hooah!

  • I didn't know the Archer Queen was in the Army.

  • Hooah! I guess you learn something new every day.

  • Sorry, everyone. I just found out my new favorite word.

  • Hooah! Nah, I'm just kidding. My favorite word is still this.

  • [Barbarian King growls] [laughs] I love that guy,

  • and I promise not to make him say [growls] anymore.

  • I know it's just getting a little annoying.

  • [Barbarian King growls] [laughs] I couldn't help myself.

  • Oh, that was the last one, I swear.

  • [Barbarian King growls] [laughs]

  • I mean that was the last one. That was the last one, I swear.

  • [laughs]

  • Ooh! You know what I'll show you next?

  • Not to brag, but I got so much elixir,

  • I don't even care if I blow some of it up.

  • Elixir explosion! Gold explosion!

  • Goldsplosion! Goldsplosion! [laughs] I'm rich.

  • Gooooooold! Get it? [laughs] Get it? Like soccer.

  • [laughs]

  • [Barbarian King growls]

  • Okay, that was the last one ever! I promise! [laughs]

  • Oh, fun! A Christmas tree!

  • Let's just see what's under--

  • Aah! It's a skull!

  • Guess I shouldn't have been so naughty this year.

  • [laughs] Okay.

  • Wow, that's a pretty good-lookin' base, right? Right?

  • Now I'm gonna show you a couple of my greatest raids ever.

  • Whoo-hoo! All right! He's my raid on King Jr.

  • Sorry in advance, King Jr. We can still be friends, right?

  • Please? Please?

  • Please don't smite me for this raid, King Jr.

  • [laughs] Say hi to your dad for me, King Jr.

  • You know? King Sr. [laughs]

  • [hums U Can't Touch This]

  • It's archer time!

  • [hums U Can't Touch This]

  • Archer time! [laughs]

  • I like to give all my archers individual names.

  • Watch, that's Mindy and Alice.

  • That's Fiona and Maggie and Debbie and Gabby and Daisy,

  • Christie, Brittany, Ashley, Kasey, Susie, Rhonda,

  • Stacy, Cathy, Doris, Gina, and Shaniqua. [laughs]

  • Sorry, King Jr., but it's time for my minions.

  • Fly, minions, fly! I had my mom make a minion costume,

  • but I kept stepping on the tail.

  • I bet these guys have the same problem.

  • Just goes to show you guys-- it's not easy being a minion.

  • All right, this is my favorite part!

  • Probably King Jr.'s least favorite part.

  • SO MUCH GOLD! GOOOOOLD!

  • I wonder what I'm gonna do with my imaginary gold.

  • Maybe I'll buy some imaginary friends. [laughs]

  • Good work, everybody. You can all take a seat

  • and let the minions mop up the last of it.

  • I know I said it earlier, but I'm sorry, King Jr.

  • If it can make you feel better, I wrote you a song.

  • King Jr.'s really a great guy

  • He built a great base and put up a great fight

  • He'll be a King Sr. someday when he's old

  • But he'll never be rich, 'cause Orange raided his gold! ♪

  • [laughs boisterously]

  • Sorry about that. Sorry.

  • Okay, I'm pretty happy with those numbers,

  • but I'm thirsty for more! [laughs devilishly]

  • Jaggunww. How do you even say that?

  • Jaggun-oo? Jaggun-oooo?

  • Huh. Whatever. I'm just gonna call you Juggalo.

  • Do Juggalos like goblins? I sure hope so,

  • 'cause you're swimmin' in 'em now, Juggalo!

  • [laughing]: Gooold!

  • Comin' at ya from both sides now, Juggalo!

  • Whoa! Did you see all those guys going to that one tiny house?

  • That was crazy.

  • We got ourselves a real clown-car situation over there.

  • [laughs] You can say it's even

  • an Insane Clown Posse situation. [laughs softly] Right?

  • [laughs] Juggalo jokes, guys.

  • Don't worry about it! [laughs]

  • I want to taste sweet elixir on my tongue. [laughs]

  • Also, did you guys know that I can do this with my tongue?

  • [babbles, laughs] Okay, okay, okay.

  • And... that should pretty well do it.

  • Send in the Barbie King and the Archer King to mop it up.

  • Hey, Barbie King, hey!

  • Do the [growls] thing. [laughs]

  • Aw, come on, do it.

  • [sighs] He must not have heard me.

  • If he had heard me, he totally would've done it, guys.

  • Me and BK, we're like best friends.

  • Yep, BK and AO are BFFs. [laughs]

  • Whoo-hoo! It wasn't total damage,

  • but look at all that elixir and gooold!

  • [laughs giddily]

  • Thanks for watching, everybody!

  • Now I'm off to throw an imaginary party

  • for me and all my imaginary friends

  • with all the imaginary money I just stole

  • from an imaginary Juggalo. As always,

  • if there's a video game you'd like me to play,

  • put it in the comments below! Do it! Do it! Do it!

  • [growls with Barbarian King]

  • All right, gang.

  • Time to light the fires and kick the tires!

  • So long, Temple of Boom.

  • WE'LL NEVER FORGET YOU!

  • Oh-ho-ho! Whoa! Oh, from this angle, you can

  • see the living boom! [laughs] Captions by StreamCaptions.com

-Hey-hey, everybody!

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