>> Conan: ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.

AT ONLY 19 YEARS OLD, MY NEXT

GUEST HAS ALREADY RECEIVED

GOLDEN GLOBE AND PEOPLE'S CHOICE

AWARD NOMINATIONS FOR HER ROLE

AS THE GENETICALLY ENHANCED STAR

OF THE HIT FOX TELEVISION SHOW

"DARK ANGEL."

PLEASE WELCOME THE LOVELY

JESSICA ALBA.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Conan: THANKS FOR BEING

ON THE SHOW.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Conan: GREAT TO HAVE

YU HERE.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Conan: OH, THEY'LL SETTLE

DOWN IN AWHILE.

WE -- YOU KNOW WHAT'S AMAZING?

I'VE ALWAYS NOTICED ON TV,HEN

THEY HAVE PEOPLE DO A FIGHTI

SCENE, I THINK 9 OF THE TIME,

IT LOOKS FAKE.

YOU CAN KINDA TELL THAT IT'S NOT

REALLY A FIGHT.

>> YEAH.

>> Conan: WHEN I'VE SEEN

YOU FIT ON THE SW, IT LOOKS

REAL.

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD

REALLY --

>> IT IS REAL.

>> Conan: YOU COULD REALLY KICK

SOMEONE'S ASS, COULDN'YOU?

>> YEAH, SOMETIMES I HIT

THE GUYS TOO HARD.

SOMETIMES THEY, LIKE --

LIKE, WE HAD -- LAST WEEK,■

WE HAD ACTORS DOING STUNTS.

AND I KICKED HIM -- I WAS

KICKING HIM REALLY HARD

IN THE RIBS.

SO THEY HAD TO WEAR, LIKE, A RIB

THING.

>> Conan: WHY WERE YOU DOING

THAT?

ARE YOU WORKING OFF SOME KIND

OF AGGRESSION?

>> NO, BECAUSE YOU HAVE

TO SELL IT.

AND YOU HAVE TO TRY TO GET

THROUGH THE MOTION.

AND, LIKE, I HAD TO BEAT UP,

LIKE, THREE GUYS AT THE SAME

TIME.

>> Conan: NOW, DO YOU FEEL LIKE

YOU COULD --

IF YOU WERE IN A REAL SITUATION,

THEN, THAT YOU COULD JUST START

KICKING ASS LEFT AND RIGHT?

>> NO,UT I THINK I COULD

DEFINITELY HURT SOMEBODY

IF I WANTED TO.

>> Conan: YES!

OKAY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

ARE YOU A GOOD -- I MEAN, ARE

YOU A GOOD ATHLETE, IN GENERAL?

DO YOU PLAY SPORTS?

>> MY DAD LIKES TO THINK SO.

HE -- YEAH.

I PLAYED BASEBALL AND FOOTBA.

I CAN THRO LIKE, REALLY FAR.

>> Conan: RIGHT.

SO ARE YOU COORDINATED?

>> I'M NOT THAT -- NOT THAT

COORDINATED.

>> Conan: THAT CRIPPLED

MY SPORTS CAREER, TOO.

>> NOT THAT COORDINATED.

>> Conan: SHOCKINGLY.

THAT, AND MY LACK OF MUSCLE

TONE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND I HAVE THE LUNGS

OF A 2-YEAR-OLD BOY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THEY'RE LIKE, "EEK, EEK, EEK."

I PASS OUT A LOT WHEN I PLAY

ATHLETIC EVENTS.

>> YEAH.

>> Conan: IT'S REALLY SAD.

>> OKAY.

>> Conan: NOW, YOU'RE THIS BIG

SUCCESS NOW.

IT'S A REALLY HOT SHOW.

PEOPLE ARE REALLY -- NO, IT'S

EXCITING.

AND ALSO, I SEE YOU EVERYWHERE.

THAT MUST BE WEIRD.

YOU SEE YOUR PICTURE

IN MAGAZINES AND --

>> WELL, I DON'T REALLY OK

AT MYSELF, LIKE, IN MAGAZINES

AND STUFF.

>> Conan: WE DIFFER AGAIN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I MEAN, I LOOK AT ME.

I'M LIKE, "LOOK AT THAT GUY!"

>> I LOOK AT YOU, TOO!

>> Conan: "CHECK HIM OUT."

YEAHTHANKS.

THANKS FOR THAT.

NO, I'M SERIOUS.

DO YOU LIKE PHOTO SHOOTS?

I MEAN, THOSE ARE --

A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THOSE ARE

EASY, BUT IT'S A PAIN

IN THE NECK, RIGHT?

>> NO, I ALWAYS HAVE TO DO THESE

PHOTO SHOOTS.

AND OTOGRAPHERS COME UP TO ME.

AND, YOU KNOW, IMMEDIATELY

THEY'RE LIKE, "PUT

HER IN THE CLEAVAGE

AND THE LEATHER."

LIKE LEATHER AND CLEAVAGE IS

THE ONLY THING ON THEIR MINDS.

SPIKES AND --

>> Conan: DAMN THEM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHY?

[ APPLAUSE ]

>> I'M NOT, I MEAN --

>> Conan: I KNOW, I KN.

>> AS MUCH AS EVERYONE WOULD

LI TO THINK SO, I'M NOT LIKE

THAT.

D I'M NOT TO THAT.

>> Conan: BUT THAT'S --

>> THAT'S WHAT IT IS,

AND THEY THINK THAT THAT'S

"DARK ANGEL," BUT THAT'S NOT

"DARK ANGEL," YOU KNOW.

SHE'S SMART.

>> Conan: RIGHT.

>> AND, SO, REGARDLESS --

AND THEN I GET THESE

PHOTOGRAPHERS, AND THESE, LIKE,

SLEAZY GUYS WITH THE LONG

HAIR -NOT TRYING TO GENERALIZE

IT OR ANYTHING -- BUT THEY'RE

LIKE, "SEXY!

FOXY!

HOT!

YES!

SEXY!

POUT THOSE LIPS!

GIVE ME THOSE ANGR TOUGH

EYES!"

>> Conan: ARE THEY SAYING THIS

INTO THE PHONE ON YOU?

>> THEY'RE DOING THAT --

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Conan: RING, RING, RING.

"SEXY, HOT, SEXY!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> NO, NO, NO.

THEY, LIKE, HAVE THE CERA.

LIKE, THEY HAVE THE CAMERA,

AND THEY'RE, LIKE, TAKING

PICTURES OF ME.

AND THEY'RE LIKE, "SEXY!

MORE HOT!

MORE SEX, SEX, SEX."

AND I'M JUST LIKE, "YOU KNOW

WHAT?

SH UP."

>> Conan: YEAH, THAT MAKES

YOU --

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> LIKE I WILL RESPOND TO THAT.■

>> Conan: BUT ALSO, THAT DOESN'T

MAKE YOU FEEL SEXY, I WOULD

IMAGINE.

>> NO, I WANNA KICK 'EM

IN THE HEAD.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Conan: WELL, YOU CAN, YEAH.

YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY, BECAUSE,

COMEDY -- IF EVEI HAVE TO GET

MY PICTURE TAKEN FOR

EVERYTHING -- FOR ANYTHING --

A PERSON WILL REAL --

I'VE HAD PEOPLE WHO WERE TAKING

THE PHOTO GO, "FUNNY GUY!

FUNNY!

GIVE ME FUNNY!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> SEE THEY DO!

>> Conan: "GIVE ME GOOFY!

GOOFY, GOOFY!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND SO ALL THE PICTURES COME

OUT, AND YOU'RE LIKE THIS.

>> YOU'RE LIKE --

>> Conan: "I HATE YOU."

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> YOU WANNA KICK THEM

IN THE HEAD.

>> Conan: YEAH, YOU FEEL LIKE

YOU'RE A BABY, AND SOMEONE'S

GOING, "COOKIE, COOKIE."

>> YEAH, EXACTLY.

IT'S SO --

>> Conan: IT'S INSANE.

NOW, YOU -- I WAS READING

ABOUT YOU TODAY.

AND YOU HAD AN INTERESTING

NICKNAME AS A CHILD.

YOU WANNA TELL US WHAT THAT IS?

>> YEAH, MY GRANDMOTHER USED

TO CALL ME --

PUCHINA PISTOS OR

MUCHACHA COCHINA PISTOSA.

WHICH IS LIKE "DIRTY LITTLE

GIRL," BECAUSE I WAS A BIT RUDE

WHEN I WASITTLE.

>> Conan: AGAIN, MY NICKNAME

AS A CHI.■■

"DIRTY LITTLE GIRL," YEAH.

[ LAUGHTER ]

"I'M A DIRTY LITTLE GIRL!"

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH OUR SON?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHY DID YOU GET THAT NICKNAME?

WHAT KINDS OF THINGS WERE

YOU DOING?

>> WELL, YOU KNOW, WHEN THERE

WOULD BE LIKE THE PRAYER w

OR WHATEVER AT DINNER, I'D,

LIKE, BURP OR SOMETHING.

>> Conan: RIGHT.

>> MY GRANOTHER ALWAYS THOUGHT

WE WERE NAKED IF WE WERE

IN O BATHING SUITS

IN THE HOUSE.

LIKE, "PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!"

>> Conan: WAS SHE A RELIGIOUS

WOMAN?

>> CATHOLIC.

>> Conan: YEAH, I KNOW WHERE

YOU'RE COMING FROM.

>> I LOVE -- I MEAN, I LOVE MY

GRANDMA, BUT I'D --

YOU KNOW, SHE'D BE WASHING

THE DISHES, AND I'D PUT

MY BATHING SUIT UP MY BUTT

AND BE LIKE, "GRANDMA!

GRANDMA!

WHAT ARE WE HAVING FOR DINNER?

ANDMA, WHAT ARE WE HAVING

FOR DINNER?"

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Conan: YOUR POOR GRANDMOTHER.

>> SHE'D BE LIKE --

"COCHINA PISTOSA."

>> Conan: YEAH, "CHECK THIOUT,

GRANNY."

[ LAUGHTER ]

POOR GRANDMOTHER.

>> BUT I WAS JUST RUDE.

I WAS JUST, YOU KNOW --

>> Conan: JUST BEING A KID.

>> YEAH, I WAS A STUPID KID.

>> Conan: NOW, YOU'RE

SHOOTING -- YOU'RE SHOOTING

MOVIES NOW?

YOU JUST SHOOTED A FILM --

>> "SHOOTED"?

>> Conan: SHOOTED A FILM.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I'M LIKE, "PRETTY GIRL!

PRETTY GIRL, I SHOOTED A FILM."

[ LAUGHTER ]

I WAS ABLE TO CUS

DURING COSTAS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

STRANGE THAT I'D LOSE

MY CONCENTRATION NOW.

YOU'RE IN THE MALAYSIAN JUNGLE?

>> YEAH, I SHOT FILM

IN MALAYSIA CALLED "SLEEPING

CTIONARY," AND THEY HAVEDK

THE MOST TREMENDOUS BUGS.

SNAKES -- 25 DEADLY POISONOUS

SNAKES IN THE JUNGLE

20-MINUTE HIKE UP

TO THE LOCATION WHERE WE WERE

SHOOTING.

WHE'S THE BATHROOM

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY?

IN THE BUSH.

>> Conan: WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE A BIG STAR NOW,

AND YOU GET ON A FILM SET --

WELL, YOU'RE DOING VERY WELL.

OKAY, WELL, YOU'RE

NO CONAN O'BRIEN, BUT YOU KNOW,

ONE DAY --

[ LAUGHTER ]

WITH TIME AND TRAINING, YOU'LL

ACHIEVE MY STATURE AT 12:30.

ARGH!