to a little town in Colorado, called Craig.

科羅拉多州叫做”Craig“的小鎮

It's only a couple dozen square miles. It's in the Rockies.

它大概只有24平方英里，在洛磯山脈

And the job in question was sheep rancher.

那天所要體驗的工作是“牧羊工人”

My role on the show, for those of you who haven't seen it -- it's pretty simple.

對那些還沒看過節目的人，我的角色很簡單

I'm an apprentice, and I work with the people who actually do the jobs in question.

在那些從事這些工作的人身邊做個學徒

And my responsibilities are to simply try and keep up

做他們所做的

and give an honest account of what it's like to be these people,

讓人們瞭解這些人的工作和生活是什麼樣子的

for one day in their life.

經歷他們一天的生活

The job in question: herding sheep. Great.

今天的工作是 - 牧羊。很好。

We go to Craig and we check in to a hotel

我們到了這個地方，住進我們的旅館

and I realize the next day that castration

我才發現，閹割

is going to be an absolute part of this work.

是明天工作中不可或缺的一部分

So, normally, I never do any research at all.

平時，我從來不會做任何準備

But, this is a touchy subject, and I work for the Discovery Channel,

但因為這是個敏感的問題，我又為探索頻道工作

and we want to portray accurately whatever it is we do,

無論如何，我們都要力求真實

and we certainly want to do it with a lot of respect for the animals.

在一種尊重動物的前提下

So I called the Humane Society

我打電話給一個關注動物權益的機構

and I say, "Look, I'm going to be castrating some lambs,

我說“我要閹割一些羊，

Can you tell me the deal?"

你能告訴我那是怎麼回事嗎？”

And they're like, "Yeah, it's pretty straightforward."

他們說“其實很容易。”

They use a band -- basically a rubber band, like this, only a little smaller.

他們用一個圈 - 通常是一個橡皮圈，只是小一點

This one was actually around the playing cards I got yesterday,

我手上這個其實來自昨日我拿到的一些撲克牌……

but it had a certain familiarity to it.

但它讓我有種似曾相識的感覺。

And I said, "Well, what exactly is the process?"

然後我說“所以，這過程到底是怎麼回事？”

And they said, "The band is applied to the tail, tightly.

他們回答“先緊緊圈住尾巴，

And then another band is applied to the scrotum, tightly.

另外一個緊緊圈住陰囊

Blood flow is slowly retarded;

血液慢慢不流通

a week later the parts in question fall off.

一個禮拜以後，就會自動掉下來了。”

"Great -- got it."

“好耶！我懂了”

OK, I call the SPCA to confirm this -- they confirm it.

我打給愛護動物協會核對一下 - 他們證實了

I also call PETA, just for fun, and they don't like it -- but they confirm it.

我玩笑性的打給善待動物組織 - 他們不喜歡，但他們也證實了

OK, that's basically how you do it.

簡單來說，這就是大家公認的方法

So the next day I go out.

隔天我出門工作

And I'm given a horse and we go get the lambs

他們給了我一匹馬

and we take them to a pen that we built,

然後我們帶羊去我們蓋的畜欄

and we go about the business of animal husbandry.

開始動手做些畜牧的事

Melanie is the wife of Albert.

梅洛妮是亞伯特的妻子

Albert is the shepherd in question.

亞伯特是今天的主角 - 牧羊人

Melanie picks up the lamb -- two hands --

梅洛妮抱起羊 - 用她的雙手

one hand on both legs on the right, likewise on the left.

左手抓住兩腿，右腿也是

Lamb goes on the post, she opens it up.

羊到了指定的地方，她把腿拉開

Alright. Great.

沒問題。很好。

Albert goes in, I follow Albert, the crew is around.

亞伯特來了，我跟著他，攝影團隊在旁邊

I always watch the process done the first time before I try it.

在我親自動手做之前，我總是先看流程

Being an apprentice, you know, you do that.

就像學徒該做的那樣

Albert reaches in his pocket to pull out, you know, this black rubber band

亞伯特把手伸進他口袋，然後拿出，黑色的橡皮筋

but what comes out instead is a knife.

結果他拿出的竟然是一把刀

And I'm like that's not rubber at all, you know.

我說：這可不是橡皮筋哪，大哥！

And he kind of flicked it open in a way that caught the sun

他把刀一下甩開，陽光從洛磯山上照過來

that was just coming over the Rockies, it was very --

反射出一陣刀光，那實在是

it was, it was impressive.

實在令人難忘

In the space of about two seconds, Albert had the knife

差不多在兩秒鐘的時間裏，亞伯特拿著刀

between the cartilage of the tail, right next to the butt of the lamb,

在軟骨和尾巴間，就在羊屁股的旁邊

and very quickly the tail was gone and in the bucket that I was holding.

很快地，刀起尾落，尾巴已經掉在我手上的桶裏了

A second later, with a big thumb and a well calloused forefinger,

一秒後，在他的大拇指和變硬的食指間

he had the scrotum firmly in his grasp.

他緊抓著羊陰囊

And he pulled it toward him, like so,

他把它拉到自己眼前

and he took the knife and he put it on the tip.

把刀抵在那尖端

Now you think you know what's coming, Michael -- you don't, OK?

你以為你知道事情會怎樣，麥克，你根本無法想像

He snips it, throws the tip over his shoulder,

他割斷它，把那尖端扔到肩膀後

and then grabs the scrotum and pushes it upward,

抓住那陰囊往上推

and then his head dips down, obscuring my view,

然後他低下頭，擋住我的視線

but what I hear is a slurping sound,

我只能聽到一種稀裏呼嚕的聲音

and a noise that sounds like Velcro being yanked off a sticky wall

像從粘糊糊的牆上撕下巨大膠帶

and I am not even kidding.

我可是說真的

Can we roll the video?

不然我們來看看畫面吧？

No I'm kidding -- we don't --

還是算了，我是開玩笑的

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I thought it best to talk in pictures.

我想還是靠我繪聲繪影的敍述就夠了™

So, I do something now I've never ever done on a "Dirty Jobs" shoot, ever.

在那個時候，我做了一件我在節目上從來沒有做過的事，史無前例

I say, "Time out. Stop."

我說“等等，暫停”

You guys know the show, we use take one, we don't do take two.

看過節目的你們知道，我們通常一鏡到底，沒有暫停

There's no writing, there's no scripting, there's no nonsense.

沒有本子，沒有安排，沒有做戲

We don't fool around, we don't rehearse --

我們不做假，也不排練

we shoot what we get!

拍完就完了！

I said, "Stop. This is nuts."

我說，“聽。這太瘋狂了。

I mean, you know.

我說，拜託 -

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

"This is crazy.

這真的太瘋狂了。

We can't do this."

我們不能這樣。

And Albert's like, "What?"

亞伯特覺得很奇怪，問”怎麼了？“

And I'm like, "I don't know what just happened,

我回”我不知道剛剛發生什麼事，

but there are testicles in this bucket and that's not how we do it."

但現在有些睾丸在桶子裏，但我覺得不應該是這樣。“

And he said "Well, that's how we do it."

他說”但是我們都是這麼做的。“

And I said, "Why would you do it this way?"

我說”你為什麼會這樣做？“

And before I even let him explain,

在他開口解釋前

I said, "I want to do it the right way, with the rubber bands."

我說”我想用正確的方法，用橡皮筋。“

And he says, "Like the Humane Society?"

他說”像那些動物保護人士嗎？“

And I said, "Yes, like the Humane Society.

我說”對，像那些動物保護人士。“

Let's do something that doesn't make the lamb squeal and bleed --

用一種羊不會尖叫流血的方法 -

we're on in five continents, dude.

這可是要在五大洲播放的，大哥！

We're on twice a day on the Discovery Channel -- we can't do this."

我們一天在探索頻道播兩次啊！我們不能這樣做。”

He says, "OK."

他說，“那好吧。”

He goes to his box and he pulls out a bag of these little rubber bands.

他走到盒子面前，然後拿出一袋小小的橡皮筋

Melanie picks up another lamb, puts it on the post,

梅洛妮挑了另一頭羊，把它壓在柱子上

band goes on the tail, band goes on the scrotum.

把橡皮筋圈在尾巴，橡皮筋圈在陰囊

Lamb goes on the ground, lamb takes two steps, falls down,

羊回到地上，它走了兩步，跌倒了

gets up, shakes a little,

爬起來，抖了抖

takes another couple steps, falls down.

再試著走了兩步，再跌倒

I'm like, this is not a good sign for this lamb, at all.

我想，這羊看起來一點都不好，一點也不

Gets up, walks to the corner, it's quivering,

它站起來，走到角落去，渾身發抖

and it lies down and it's in obvious distress.

它躺下，看起來萬分痛苦

And I'm looking at the lamb and I say, "Albert, how long?

我看著羊，我問“亞伯特，它會這樣多久？

When does he get up?"

它何時才站得起來？"

He's like, "A day."

他回答“一天。“

I said, "A day! How long does it take them to fall off?"

我說”一天！！這些東西多久才會掉下來？“

"A week."

"一個禮拜。”

Meanwhile, the lamb that he had just did his little procedure on

這個時候，剛剛他動完小手術的那頭羊

is, you know, he's just prancing around, bleeding stopped.

已經開始四處跳動，血也止住了

He's, you know, nibbling on some grass, frolicking.

它開始吃草，嬉戲

And I was just so blown away

我完全傻了。我無法相信

at how wrong I was, in that second.

我有多麼大錯特錯，那當下

And I was reminded how utterly wrong I am, so much of the time.

同時我也想到，有多少時候，我錯的更厲害

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I was especially reminded of what an ridiculously short straw I had that day

尤其是，我突然想到我那天是多麼倒楣

because now I had to do what Albert had just done,

因為現在我得去做亞伯特剛才完成的事

and there are like 100 of these lambs in the pen,

畜欄裏大概有一百多隻羊

and suddenly this whole thing's starting to feel like a German porno,

突然這整件事就像德國色情電影……

and I'm like ... (Laughter)

我有點……

Melanie picks up the lamb,

梅洛妮挑出一隻羊

puts it on the post, opens it up.

把它壓在柱子上，拉開雙腿

Albert hands me the knife.

亞伯特把刀交給我

I go in, tail comes off.

我下刀，尾巴掉了下來

I go in, I grab the scrotum, tip comes off.

我繼續，我抓著陰囊，尖端掉了下了

Albert instructs, "Push it way up there."

亞伯特指導著，”把它推上去“

I do.

我推了。

"Push it further."

”推遠點。“

I do.

我這麼做了。

The testicles emerge -- they look like thumbs, coming right at you --

看起來像大拇指的睾丸在你眼前出現，正對著你

and he says, "Bite 'em.

他說”咬它們

Just bite 'em off."

把它們咬下來。”

And I heard him, I heard all the words.

我聽到他這麼說，我聽的再清楚不過了

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Like, how did -- how did I get here?

我想，我是 - 我是怎麼來到這裏的？！

How did -- you know -- I mean --

我是 - 你知道 - 我是說

how did I get here?

我究竟是怎麼來到這步田地的？

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

It's just -- it's one of those moments where the brain goes off on it's own:

這就是那種，腦子開始不受控制，神遊太虛的時候

and suddenly, I'm standing there, in the Rockies,

我站在洛磯山脈中

and all I can think of is the Aristotelian definition of a tragedy.

唯一能想到的是亞里斯多德對悲劇的定義

You know, Aristotle says a tragedy

亞里斯多德說，悲劇

is that moment when the hero comes face to face with his true identity.

就發生在英雄和自己的真我面對面的時候。

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And I'm like, "What is this jacked-up metaphor?

我想“這是哪門子亂七八糟的隱喻？

I don't like what I'm thinking right now."

我討厭我現在這些想法。“

And I can't get this thought out of my head,

但我無法擺脫腦中這個想法

and I can't get that vision out of my sight,

也無法擺脫我眼前這個景象

so I did what I had to do.

我只有做我當做的

I went in and I took them.

我殺進去，拿下它們

I took them like this,

我這樣拿下它們

and I yanked my face back.

然後狠狠地把臉甩開

And I'm standing there

我就站在那裏

with two testicles on my chin.

臉上掛著兩個羊睾丸

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And now I can't get -- I can't shake the metaphor.

我就是無法 - 我無法甩開那個隱喻

OK, I'm still in "Poetics," in Aristotle,

我還在想亞里斯多德，想他那本”詩論“

and I'm thinking -- out of nowhere, two terms come crashing into my head

我在想，突然，兩個辭就這樣靈光一現

that I haven't heard since my classics professor in college drilled them there.

兩個我從大學後就再沒有聽過，被古典學教授鑿在腦中的字

And they are anagnorisis and peripeteia.

它們是 anagnorisis 和 peripeteia

Anagnorisis and peripeteia.

anagnorisis 和 peripeteia

Anagnorisis is the Greek word for discovery.

Anagnorisis 是希臘文裏的”發現“

Literally, the transition from ignorance to knowledge is anagnorisis.

字義上，從無知到有知的過程，就是 Anagnorisis

It's what our network does;

也就是探索頻道所做的

it's what "Dirty Jobs" is.

也就是“幹盡苦差事”所在做的

And I'm up to my neck in anagnorises every single day.

這些發現每天都堆到了我的脖子這麼高

Great.

很好。

The other word, peripeteia,

另外一個字，peripeteia

that's the moment in the great tragedies, you know --

則是在大悲劇中的那一刻，你知道

Euripides and Sophocles --

欧里庇得斯和索福克勒斯

the moment where Oedipus has his moment,

在劇裏

where he suddenly realizes that hot chick

他突然意識到那位美女

he's been sleeping with and having babies with is his mother. OK.

他同床共枕和生兒育女的 - 是他親娘。很好。

That's peripety

這就是轉折

or peripeteia.

或是 peripeteia

And this metaphor in my head --

我腦中的這個隱喻

I got anagnorisis and peripetia on my chin.

在我腮旁的”發現“和”轉折“

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

I got to tell you, it's such a great device though.

但我必須說，這真是很好的詞句

When you start to look for peripetia,

但你開始找尋”轉折“

you find it everywhere.

它們隨處可見

I mean, Bruce Willis in "The Sixth Sense," right?

像布魯斯·威利在”靈異第六感“中

Spends the whole movie trying to help the little kid who sees dead people,

整部電影都在幫助這個有陰陽眼的小孩

and then, boom -- "Oh, I'm dead" -- peripetia.

然後，砰！原來我死了 - 轉折

You know?

你知道吧？

It's crushing when the audience sees it the right way.

在那一瞬間，所有觀眾都看明白了

Neo in "The Matrix," you know?

像“駭客任務”中的尼歐

"Oh, I'm living in a computer program" -- that's weird.

哦，我竟然住在電腦程式裏，那真怪

These discoveries that lead to sudden realizations;

這些發現都讓我意識到一些事實

and I've been having them, over 200 dirty jobs, I have them all the time,

我已經做了，大概兩百個苦差事，我一天到晚都意識到一些新東西

but that one -- that one drilled something home in a way that I just wasn't prepared for.

但這一項 - 這項驚心動魄，在我絲毫沒有思考準備的時候

And, as I stood there,

正在我站在那裏的時候

looking at the happy lamb that I had just defiled --

看著那只開心的羊，我剛處理過的

but it looked OK.

它看起來還不錯

Looking at that poor other little thing that I'd done it the right way on,

再看看另一隻可憐的小東西，我本來可以正確處理的，

and I just was struck by

我突然想到

if I'm wrong about that

如果我在這件事上犯錯

and if I'm wrong so often, in a literal way,

如果我這樣常犯錯，實際地說

what other peripatetic misconceptions might I be able to comment upon?

我還能對其他那些錯誤觀念說什麼呢？

Because, look, I'm not a social anthropologist

因為，雖然我不是個社會人類學家

but I have a friend who is.

但我有個朋友是

And I talk to him.

我和他聊

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

And he says, "Hey Mike.

他說“嘿麥克

Look, I don't know if your brain is interested in this sort of thing or not,

我不知道你的腦子對這種事情有沒有興趣

but do you realize you've shot in every state?

但 你有意識到你已經踏遍每一州了嗎？

You've worked in mining, you've worked in fishing,

你在礦場裏幹過，你在漁業裏幹過

you've worked in steel, you've worked in every major industry.

你幹過鐵工，你幾乎在所有主要的行業裏都幹過

You've had your back shoulder to shoulder with these guys

你和這些傢伙們並肩共事

that our politicians are desperate to relate to every four years, right?"

像那些政治人物們每四年就要來一下的那個樣子嘛，對吧？“

I can still see Hillary doing the shots of rye,

我仿佛還看到希拉蕊和鐵工們

dribbling down her chin, with the steel workers.

豪爽地喝著啤酒，從她下顎流下

I mean, these are the people that I work with every single day.

這些人可是我每天在一起共事的人

"And if you have something to say about their thoughts, collectively,

如果你想為他們喉舌，把他們當成一個群體來說些什麼

it might be time to think about it.

現在是你好後想想的時候了

Because, dude, you know, four years."

因為，你知道，這四年

You know, that's in my head, testicles are on my chin,

在我腦子裏，腮旁掛著睾丸

thoughts are bouncing around.

腦中的想法晃蕩著

And, after that shoot, Dirty Jobs really didn't change,

在那次拍攝後，”幹盡苦差事“基本上沒有改變

in terms of what the show is,

這個節目沒有改變

but it changed for me, personally.

但對我來說它改變了，我改變了

And now, when I talk about the show,

現在，當我談到這個節目

I no longer just tell the story you heard and 190 like it.

我不會再說那些人人認同的故事

I do, but I also start to talk about some of the other things I got wrong,

我仍然會，但我開始談論其他那些我曾經誤解的事

some of the other notions of work

其他那些對工作的想法

that I've just been assuming are sacrosanct,

那些我曾經以為是神聖不可侵犯的

and they're not.

卻不是的

People with dirty jobs are happier than you think.

做這些工作的人比你想像的快樂很多

As a group, they're the happiest people I know.

就一個群體來說，他們是我見過最快樂的人

And I don't want to start whistling "Look for the Union Label,"

我可不是要開始吹起口哨，唱起工會組曲