(laughs)

Don't ever do that.

Hi everyone!

- Hey!

- Stop that, look who I'm here with.

Wait, you get down in my video.

I want to do what you did.

Well, you don't have to go right there.

(laughs)

They're gonna know where I am, come back up here.

Hey everyone!

- Hi-hi.

- My name is Tyler and who are you?

- Nicki Minaj!

- Oh my god.

(laughs)

- I'm Dan, Dan Howell, Danisnotonfire, hello.

- So, this is finally happening

after, I feel like it's so long.

- I know, so long.

- It's been a long time coming.

- You're finally on my bed.

- I was like, what are we possibly gonna do today Dan?

Do you have any ideas?

And he's like, I have the perfect idea.

It's perfect for your channel.

- Okay, I was having a brainstorm

about possible videos that could possibly happen

and it was an idea that I had that I was like this

couldn't happen for about ten reasons.

No one would ever do it, I don't think it's allowed,

and I tell Tyler and he's like--

- I'm like, perfect!

So today we're gonna be looking at porn (record scratches)

and we're gonna suggest words that

we have to search on a porn website.

- But innocent words.

- Innocent words.

- So everyday objects.

If we manage to find a porn video that for

some reason contains this totally innocent everyday

object then we get a point and

in the process, mentally scar ourselves.

- And we have to watch it.

What's your first word?

- Um, balloon, balloon.

- Search balloon.

- What could possibly--

- There has to be balloon.

- What could possibly, okay.

- Oh my god.

(laughing)

- Big balloon ride and pop.

(loud squeaking)

There's lots of balloons and she's riding the balloon.

- She's completely naked, you should also know that.

(laughing)

It popped!

- She did not seem bothered by that.

- No, she's used to it.

Oh, shit.

- Item number one, balloons, yes.

- You got a point.

- There is...

- That is a point.

- videos of that.

- Okay, well I like the idea of

some type of food being turned into porn.

- Okay, okay, yeah sure.

Suddenly all food seems horrifyingly sexual.

- I'm like an eggplant?

- Pineapple.

- A pineapple?

A pineapple.

- No, no, I don't want to know.

- No, I'm doing it.

Lesbian couple with melons and pineapples.

- [Man] I see you brought a friend, excellent!

- This is terrible.

- I know.

(cheesy music)

Well edited.

(laughs)

Vagina, that's a vagina.

(laughing)

- Where are the watermelons?

There they are!

(laughs)

Okay, so they have spraypainted

their boobs to look like watermelons and pineapple.

- Does it count as pineapples...

- Yes, that's a pineapple!

- if the lesbians have sprayed

pineapples onto their boobs?

- Spraypaint pineapple.

- Does that count?

- Yeah, that counts.

- Okay Tyler, you get the point for pineapples.

Go away live Jasmine popups.

- I know, right?

- Surely not.

(laughs)

Whisk.

- Noooo.

Wait, whisk has an h?

(gasps)

Yes it does!

Oh my god, no, no, Dan!

- Look at the name of the video!

- Oh my...

(laughing)

Read the title, read the title.

- No!

- You have to read the title.

You can say, I'll bleep that word.

(laughing)

Wire whisk stretches her (beeping).

- That's literally the title of my autobiography.

- Can i cry!

- Wait, no, they're about to put it in.

Oh my god, Dan, no.

- This is the worst thing that I've ever made happen.

- I want Phil to walk in though, right?

(screams)

- Okay, that's that, that's that.

- Okay.

- And that's a second point for

Dan who is really proud of himself.

- Yeah, I'm gonna go with...

- You're walking around your apartment,

you're looking at things, what are you seeing?

- Pikachu?

(gasps)

Oh, noooo.

It's called Pokemon hentai?

- Hentai.

- What's that mean?

- Hentai is basically pornographic manga.

- What's manga?

- It's just comic book anime. - Gay, or not gay.

- Explain what's happening.

- Okay, so Ash and Pikachu are in a forest.

- Jesse's there.

- Pikachu is using thunderbolt.

- And now she's on her side with her legs spread.

(panting, moaning)

Look at that butthole, that's Ash, yes!

- My childhood!

- He has a cute butt, I'll say that.

(moaning)

- Pikachu, no!

- What is Pikachu doing? - Pikachu!

- Put that down.

- Whose dick is that?

- Is that Pikachu's?

- That's Pikachu's dick!

(splattering)

We're done with that.

Get me out of here.

- This is the worst day of my entire life.

Tyler, you get a point.

- Thank you.

- Are you proud?

- I am.

- I mean I don't want to win anymore.

Um, spork.

- No, please, no.

- Wait.

- I don't see any sporks.

- There are no search results

for spork and I don't get the point.

- Oh my god, is that something worth being proud of?

I am so done, what do you have?

(laughs)

- Tennis ball.

(gags)

- Click it, you know which one I want you to click.

- This one.

- Mmhmm.

- There's a ball.

(gasps)

- How does she get that in there?

- I'm expecting some type of

satisfying pop sound, but there's nothing.

Also, what is she up to?

- What is she wearing?

- Leather on leather, with a ball inside her pussy.

- That was like me up until--

- Leather on leather with a ball in your pussy?

(laughs)

Okay, my turn.

What about constipated?

Only one video.

- With a 43 percent disliked rating.

- It's called Just the way it is.

11 minutes?

There's a whole plot.

- Someone's aunty comes in.

- Oh this is, is this acting?

- She looks like she's experienced

the sensation of constipation.

- She's putting on sweatpants, I've been there.

- She's getting into bed.

- Do you know what's happening here?

- Um, I don't know what that is.

- That's an enema.

She's 100 percent consti--

(gasps)

That's a tube in her ass.

- Do you want the point for constipation?

- Yeah (laughs) just take it away.

Oh my god.

- Really horrifying ads inside there.

- Aren't the ads just the worst?

- So crude, aren't they?

- I know, I've never seen straight ads.

- I mean, that's pretty normal.

I'll tell you when something irregular happens.

(yelling)

(laughing)

Marmite.

- Marmite?

- Yeah, what?

- Nothing.

- There's no marmite porn?

- Wow.

I'm gonna go with doughnut 'cause

I'm thinking like a yum, just delicious doughnut.

- [Woman] Bostom creme is my favorite.

- So that, there's doughnuts.

(laughing)

You can't do that in a restaurant, that's just unhygienic.

- So, the cop has begun...

- Fellating.

(laughing)

- There's too much plot.

I hate too much plot and she's not cute.

(woman moans)

- Great, you're having sex, great, just...

- [Man] Oh, honey, don't eat that.

- [Woman] This tastes familiar.

- [Man] I came in it.

(laughing hysterically)

- [Both] I came in it.

- So you get the point, well done.

Everything's been ruined now.

I'm really sorry.

- Okay, so if you liked it you

can always give it a thumbs up.

- Thumb's ruined, another thing.

- Yeah, thumb, that works perfectly

and we also did a video over on Dan's channel.

What did we do?

- Kind of more innocent but kind of not.

We played Cards Against Humanity

which was still kind of offensive.

So if you're in the mood for more things to just kind

of ruin your life then that was pretty fun.

- That was fun.

- Check it out!

- It was good, click his face or click the link below

and subscribe to Dan because he's one of my favorites and--

- If you haven't, then do it to Tyler.

I don't know why you're here if you haven't already.

I nearly touched your breast.

- That's fine.

- Wouldn't be anything wrong with that, okay!

- Okay, cool.

(laughs)

Bye!

(laughs)

- This is the lowest point of my life so far.

- Samesies.

- Is this the lowest point of your Youtube life so far?

- I think this might be, like, mid-range for me.