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- You know, one of the nice things about having this show
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is that it gives me a platform to talk about important issues
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that I want to talk about.
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Kindness and equal rights and baby goats.
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And today I want to talk about another important issue.
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This is...you know the phrase "no pun intended?"
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It's supposed to mean you just said something funny
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by accident.
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Well, you know, like,
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"The pilot's career was taking off.
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No pun intended." Something like that.
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Or "John Travolta gave a touching introduction
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at the Oscars. No pun intended."
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And I noticed a lot of people are using it
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when they say something funny on purpose.
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And that's--that's wrong, and damn it,
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I'm not gonna take it anymore.
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So it's time for another installment of my segment
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You're Doing It Wrong, by Ellen DeGeneres.
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[upbeat music]
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- It's an exciting summer program
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giving kids a good look into the field of archeology,
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right in our own backyard in Maryland.
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- Holly is out to get the scoop.
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[laughs] No pun intended, really.
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She joins us live from Historic St. Mary's City.
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Holly, do you see why that's funny?
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- Interest in a new marijuana tax
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appears to be at a new high.
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No pun intended.
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- Dan, you say, you know, sort of no pun intended,
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it's high time that this happened.
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- I thought it was high time, no pun intended,
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for this to be on the table.
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I'm trying to beat everybody to the punch with the jokes
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because I get a lot.
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- A Florida man reportedly refuses to admit that crack--
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no pun intended, cocaine--
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found hidden inside his buttocks...
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- I think I told Tony I was painting him,
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and he kind of brushed it off, so to speak.
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[laughter]
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- No art pun intended there?
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- There--that was an art pun.
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[upbeat music]
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[laughter and applause]
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- Oh.
