First thing she does is kick me out of her class.

Maybe she feels she has to make an example of you.

Or maybe she's got something up her ass. That's what I said.

- Poor Billy. - I'm so depressed.

Mmm. You want me to take my shirt off for you?

No, thank you. Okay, baby.

But remember, the offer is on the table. [Chuckles]

Oh, yes!

Oh, my!

Oh, God, yes. Lordy.

Billy Madison! Huh?

Would you like to try writing some words in cursive on the blackboard today?

Okay. Sure.

Okay. How about the word "dugout"?

Good. How about "bunt"?

Bunt. B-U-N-T.

In perfect cursive. Any more brain-busters?

"Rizzuto."

Z.

Z.

"Rirruto"?

[Children Laugh] Those are Z's.

They look like R's to me.

That's not fair. "Rizzuto" is not a word!

He's a baseball player! You're cheating!

Would you like to try the word "buzz"?

[Children Laugh]

I hate cursive, and I hate all of you!

I'm never coming back to school! Never!

[Children Laughing]

[Juanita] Billy!

I swear to God I'm sick. I can't go to school.

If you're gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.

Oh, my God! I'll go to school.