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On the evening of February 20, 2002, the Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra performed to a different
kind of crowd. They weren’t there to hear Mozart, or Brahms, or Sibelius, or Holst.
They were there to hear Final Fantasy. Judging from the reaction - and subsequent world tours,
playing everywhere from the Sydney Opera House to the Royal Albert Hall - the world was ready
to take the music of this new, emerging media seriously, with Final Fantasy’s Nobuo Uematsu
leading the vanguard. But for all the celebration his compositions received, they were never
featured in an actual rhythm/music game. Until now: Behold, Elite Beat Dissidia - erm, I
mean, Theatrhythm Final Fantasy.
You’ve got 39 songs available at the start of the game, three for each of the 13 primary
games. Yes, FFXIV still can’t catch a break. In the Series mode, each batch of three includes
one field track, one battle track, and one event track, bookended by opening and closing
themes. And while their displays are wildly different, the entire game boils down to three
rudiments: Poke red notes, hold green notes, and slide in the direction of arrows. Field
tracks see your team traversing a familiar series backdrop, occasionally sliding your
target up and down to follow held notes, and trying to cover the greatest distance in search
of moogles bearing gifts. Battles break the incoming notes into four lines, though your
inputs are the same regardless; quality play here lets you fire spells and techniques at
your enemies, in attempts to cut them down and score some item drops. Finally, event
tracks play video footage of memorable Final Fantasy moments behind a linear - but omnidirectional
- cursor.
Once you clear songs in the Series mode, they become available in Challenge, which lets
you pick individual songs to play in one of three difficulty levels - Basic, Expert, and
Ultimate. And if these charts weren’t enough, you can go down to the Chaos Shrine for alternate
versions of most of the available tracks, offered in Field/Battle pairs that often yield
crystal shards needed to unlock the rest of the 29-member cast, as well as collectable
cards for the sake of... well, collecting. In total, there’s 55 playable tracks - 80
if you count the intro and outro pieces for the Series versions, and even more if you
don’t mind dropping a buck a track on DLC. Yes, 3DS DLC. I came close to complaining,
but then I saw that Cosmo Canyon was available, and... well, Cosmo Canyon. DLC aside, my only
real gripe with the game is that the sound often overpowers the 3DS speakers... but with
a decent set of headphones, that issue is alleviated. My only fake gripe is that now
I have the urge to re-play ALL OF THE FINAL FANTASIES. ALL OF THEM.