My name is Emily Warren,

我是 Emily Warren

and I am a PhD student in psychology.

而且我是一位心理學博士生

P-h-D student.

博-士-生

That has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

聽起來是個很棒的頭銜，對吧?

It means I got my shit figured out.

這代表我對自己了解非常透徹

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

Well, I may be the most atypical grad student you'll ever meet.

我可能是你遇過最不典型的研究生了

I did something that most people would not advise you to do.

我做了一件大部分人並不會建議你去做的事

I applied to graduate school on a whim.

我申請研究所只是因為一時興起

Why would I do such a thing?

為何我要這麼做?

You see, I did it because I had an expectation

你看，我這麼做是因為我有期待

that maybe I would find some missing part of myself

或許我會因此找到那迷失的自我

by being back in school, by being on a path,

藉由重返校園、讓一切都在軌道上

a path that led to anywhere, other than moving back in with my parents.

踏上一條可通往各處，遠離我父母的道路

Did it work?

我成功了嗎?

No!

不!

I haven't found some missing magical part of myself,

我始終沒有找到絲毫遺失的自我

but in my past two years of graduate school,

但在我過去兩年的研究生生涯裡

I have learned something that I think is more important and more valuable

我學到了一件我認為更重要且更有價值的事

than any class you'll take as a PhD student.

任何一個博士生在課堂中所學都無法與之比擬

I'm on stage today not because I have all the answers,

我現在站在這裡並不是因為我有所有的答案

but because I have a question.

而是因為我有一個疑問

How many of you have ever felt the need to find yourselves?

你們之中有多少人曾經有過要找到自我的需求?

A lot of you.

許多人

Me too.

我也是

We are driven by this need, this expectation,

我們被這個需求與期待驅使，

that our all important purpose in our adult lives is to find ourselves,

我們人生中重要的目標就是去找到自己

that our latent selves are just out there somewhere,

我們潛在的自我就藏在某處

waiting to be discovered.

等待被發掘

Huh!

喝!

I think that makes us treat the present moment like a placeholder.

我想這讓我們忽略了當下

A lot of people will talk to you about their biggest fear,

許多人會告訴你們他們最大的恐懼

so I'm going to tell you mine.

所以我也要告訴你們我的

My biggest fear is reaching the end of my life

我最大的恐懼是，窮盡一生

and realizing that I was never awake to any of it,

最後卻發現我從來沒有真正清醒過

never in the present moment,

從來沒有真正活在當下

because I was so focused on what I should be doing,

因為我太專注於自己應該要做甚麼

or where I should be going.

或者我應該要去哪

A life spent constantly searching for who I'm supposed to be,

用了一生的時間探索究竟我該成為怎樣的人

instead of learning about who I am.

而不是好好認識我到底是誰

I'm here to tell you that there is no such thing as finding yourself

現在我在這告訴你們，其實根本沒有必須要找到自己這件事，

in the way that we have come to believe.

一點都不是像我們一直深信的那樣

It's a story, a story that we've made up for ourselves

這只是個故事，一個我們編給自己、

under the guise that we are meant to do a certain thing,

用告訴自己我們註定要做某些事或走某些路包裝起來

or to be a certain way.

的故事

It's the expectation that one day

這是一個期待，某天

the unruly strands of our lives will bind together

我們生命中複雜錯中的線最後會纏繞一起，

and point us in the right direction.

並為我們指出人生正確的方向

Finding yourself is nothing more than a myth,

尋找自我僅僅是個迷思，

and believing it is doing us a disservice.

相信它對我們其實很不利

Why?

為什麼?

Because it inherently implies that we are lost.

因為這隱喻著我們處於茫然的狀態

So, how does this myth manifest in our lives?

究竟這份迷思是如何出現在我們的生命中呢?

We jump around a lot: between jobs, between majors,

我們四處漂泊：在工作、主修、

between relationships, between visions of who we are meant to be.

人際關係以及我們該成為什麼人的期待中游移不定

We train our eyes to be constantly looking outward, never inward,

我們訓練自己的眼睛不斷向外尋找，但從未留意過我們的內心

and completely lose sight of who we are and what we're doing.

並完全失去了看清自己是誰、自己在做甚麼的能力

There is a beautiful wilderness trail here in Claremont,

在克萊蒙特有一條美麗的荒野小徑，

we call it "the wilderness loop."

我們稱它為 "the wilderness loop(荒野迴路)"

Just a short time ago, I went on a hike on this trail with a friend.

就在不久前，我和一位朋友到這去爬山

We spent hours trekking up and down those dusty hills,

我們花費數小時在這些泥濘的山丘爬上爬下

but afterward, I couldn't remember any of it,

但之後我對這趟行程完全沒有任何記憶

not the sights, not the sounds, not the smells.

不記得那些景色、聲音、味道

I had been so fixated on myself,

我太過專注在我自己

worrying if I was on the right path in life.

擔心著我是否正走在人生正確的道路上

And where did I end up?

而最後我落腳於哪?

At the end of the path, right back where I had started.

就在那條小徑的盡頭，剛好位於我的起點後面

If we keep jumping around, out of fear, out of self-doubt,

如果我們因為恐懼、懷疑而不斷地四處游移

we are never going to land, and it's the landing,

我們將無法真正得到安定，

the grounding ourselves in our experiences,

這個安定是由我們自身經驗為基礎，

that allows us to gain our footing as wobbly or clumsy as we may be.

讓我們在搖擺不定時能好好立足

So, how do we land as a student of psychology?

所以，像我們心理學學生該如何得到安定呢?

Here are the skills that I think are critical to taking charge of who you are

以下是我認為掌握你究竟是誰以及你該去哪裡

and where you're going.

的重要關鍵技巧

We need grit!

我們需要"grit"

It just sounds so bad - in a good way.

這聽起來好糟啊，但它其實很正面

"Grit" is a concept developed by Dr. Angela Duckworth

"Grit"是由賓夕法尼亞大學的 Angela Duckworth 博士

from the University of Pennsylvania.

所提出的概念

Grit is the tenacity to keep going in the face of challenge.

grit 是指面對挑戰時的意志力、

It is the humility to admit that this is really hard,

謙虛地勇於承認事情並不容易，

and we are not going to be good at all of it.

而我們並無法精通每樣事物的態度

We need tolerance.

我們需要忍耐

Being okay with not knowing if this is what you should be doing,

接受不知道應該要做甚麼、

not knowing exactly where we're going,

不知道該何去何從的自己

but being confident in our ability to make it work.

但同時並保有自信，相信自己可以做得到

So, the next time you find yourself struggling with a decision,

所以，當下次你發現自己在選擇中掙扎

or worrying if you're on the right path,

或擔心自己是否走在對的路上時，

I want you to get your grit on.

我希望你能拿出你的意志力

Be tolerant with yourselves.

當個堅強的人

Let go of the expectation that you need to find yourselves

此時此刻，放下那些認為必須找尋自我

or figure things out perfectly, right here, right now.

或必須完美解決所有事的心態

My hope for you is that you allow yourselves to be fully engaged

我希望你們可以將你們生命中所有的經驗整合起來，

in your experiences, whatever they may be.

不管任何經驗都好

Use them to collect data on yourselves.

然後好好地運用它們

As Bob Evans has shown us tonight:

正如 Bob Evans今晚告訴我們：

"You don't need to be a psychologist to become your own researcher."

「你不必當個心理學家來探索你自己」

As Vanessa has told us:

Vanessa曾說：

"Pay attention to who you are and what you're doing."

「專注於你是誰以及你當前正在做的事」

Build your capacity for self-awareness,

建立起自我察覺的能力

for I firmly believe that path will never lead you astray.

我堅信你將不會在你的道路上感到茫然

It is going to be dusty,

雖然這條路將會佈滿泥濘

it is going to be uphill,

且崎嶇難行

but it is going to be worth it.

但它將非常值得

Thank you.

謝謝

(Applause)

（掌聲）