I was a weirdkid, and I wantedthepopulargirlstoacceptmeintotheirgroup, and I thoughthaving a screennamelikethiswouldtrickthemintothinking I wasoneofthem.
When I was 13, JohnCenawasmyfavoritewrestler, andhecalledhisfans "TheChainGang" andmebeing 13 atthetime, hadtoadd a 69 attheend.
I meanwhatelsecanyouexpectfrom a personwhowearshernameinhoopearrings?
Cause I'm Cuban, andproud.
FreshoutoftheQuinceañerastage.
So I choseHairyJ69, when I was 18 andincollegebecause I'm hairy, extremelyhairy, I'm Jewish, and I liketo 69.
I chosethisscreenname, because I wantedtoliveinCalifornia.
I thoughtthat's wherealltheprettyandpopularpeoplelived.
Clearly I wasn't muchof a speller.
Thisisgeniusallright, likewhenyou'rescanningyourfriendslist, youwonderwho's on, andthenwhenyouseethat I'm on, you'relike, "Hey, Ryanison."
I addedthe X because I forgotmypassword.
I'm prettyproudofitactually.
[Voiceover] Thatneveroccurredtoyou - Ryanison "X" ?
Oh (beep) No, thatneveroccurredtome.
Ohmygod.
Youthrewmeoff, man. I'm like...
Youruinedit, (beep).
I chosethisnamewhen I wasabout 13 yearsold.
Stayhooded, because I thought I wouldstayghetto.
Bratisbecause I wasspoiled.
And 0131 because I'm anAquarius.
Chubbystar, cause I was a littlethickgrowingupandclearly I'm a (beep) star.
I don't knowwhy I chose 27 actually.
That's myagerightnow.
Maybethisisalllikefullcircle.
I wasn't verygoodatgirls, so I thoughtthatmaybebeingquirkyandslapstickwouldhelp.
Itdidn't.
I wasshockedwhenthiswasnottaken.
It's notironicenoughtobefunny.
It's, it's morepainful.
I don't knowwhy I thoughtthiswascoolorokayoracceptableinanyway.
I thoughtfartswerehilariousas a juniorhighstudentandsadpartis, I wasbornin 83, not 87.
Fartlover83 wastaken.
So I'm notaloneinmylovingfarts.
So I was 13, I wastryingtogetgirlsonline, and I thought I was a CyberCasanova.
I liketonotlivewithregrets, I wastryingtogetchicksonAOL.
I reallylikedsoccer, and I likedtheword "dude".
I thoughtdudettesoundedweird.
I didn't wannahave a number, somydadsuggestedii, causeitmeansthesecond.
SomyAIMnameistechnicallySoccerDudethesecond.
I madeupthiswordand I don't knowwhatitmeansatall.
I havenoideawhat I wasgoingforwiththis.
MyAIMnamewasBlackbarbiegoku367.
Becauseitcombinedmyfourfavoritethings.
Beingblack, playingwithbarbies, GokufromDragonBall Z, and 367 becausethatwasmycrusheslockernumber.
I'm notashamed.
(laughs)
(beep) Youknowwhat, I'm a littleembarrassed.
I'llsayit.
I thoughtitwasthekingofAIM, but (beep).
I was a weirdkid, and I wantedthepopulargirlstoacceptmeintotheirgroup, and I thoughthaving a screennamelikethiswouldtrickthemintothinking I wasoneofthem.
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