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  • (SIGHING)

  • You know, l had a neighbor, growing up, with a name right out of Dickens.

  • Mr. Charles Hazard.

  • And Mr. Hazard didn't like the neighborhood dogs

  • messing up his flower beds.

  • One day, l heard a bunch of yelling from across the street,

  • so l ran on over to Mr. Hazard's,

  • and there were about 15 grown-ups standing around my dog, Teddy,

  • who was writhing on the ground in obvious agony.

  • Blood was pouring out of his mouth.

  • Mr. Hazard had ground up a glass bottle

  • and put it in a bowl of dog food and fed it to him.

  • What did you do?

  • Well, l got some gasoline and burned down his flower beds.

  • But that wasn't satisfying enough.

  • And then l remembered, Mr. Hazard was an elected official.

  • He was the head of the town council.

  • His reelection every two years was a foregone conclusion.

  • So come Election Day, l drove over to the black section of town.

  • Now, these people hadn't voted in any of these elections, so...

  • l was only 13, but l had a farmer's license

  • and l filled up my car with black voters

  • and drove them to the polling place

  • and then waited, then drove them on home.

  • But before they got out of the car to vote

  • l said, ''l don't mean to influence you, but l think you should know

  • ''Mr. Charles Hazard has intentionally killed my dog.''

  • About 400 ballots were cast in that election.

  • l drove 96 of them to the polls.

  • Hazard lost by 16 votes.

  • And that's the day l fell in love with America.

  • What time do we land?

  • 7:30 a.m. in D.C.

  • l want the CIA in my office at 10:OO.

  • Assistant Deputy Director or higher.

  • Tell them that if l don't see someone at 10:OO,

  • l'm gonna start docking their allowance at a rate of $1 million a minute.

  • Yes, sir.

  • And get me another one of them, would you?

  • (CLEARING THROAT)

  • Yes, sir.

(SIGHING)

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