Governor Mike Huckabee, how was your summer?

It was dope

Like your pretty gelled head

Thank you

I'm getting it permed

Hey, all you freaks are bozos

But who's this Mindy?

Oh, an old friend actually, she's great

Okay, you HAVE to be joking

She pooped on the treadmill!

Oooh

Oh yeah, that's her

Governor Christie

When you were younger, what was your favorite childhood snack?

I wanted, you know, I just wanted regular potatoes

But guess what, so did other people

I wanted it the most, so I'm like "I want it the most"

You just froze a baby!

You just froze a baby.

I did not!

GENITAL WARTS!

You touched a genital wart

and you can't touch it!

Wait, hey, guys, guys, hey

All right, enough

You're a wart toucher

Stop saying that!

Mr. Trump.

Well, I have a pigeon - Lucas Don Velour.

I always take it shopping because I want to and because it's got health.

[stomach rumbling]

Whatever, look - it's a thing the tuna melt does to me.

Uhh, Senator Cruz -

You shouldn't say the "S-Word"

What

Well, we could just go out and collect a dead swan

And then I - well I will drink a sorority's goldfish.

Uh, moving on, let's hear from Dr. Carson.

Now, this piece, I think it goes like that

And then this one...

No, this piece goes over here.

It's part of the tree

Carson

AHHHH ahhh ahh!

Umm, see, umm

What you working on?

A puzzle, umm

I don't know how to do this actually

Hey, we can move one, and you're not missing any playtime.

America.

Governor Bush

What

How would you get a dead mouse on crescent roll with some steak?

With some steak I would fork it

However, if a pittbull is loose in your house

then you'll find me stiff on the bed, 'cause I always throw up.

You'll have thirteen seconds to make a closing statement in the form of a short song.

And Governor Christie, you're first.

Well, think about the time we bought you and ice-cream and a cookie

Rented that Lambo so we could go buy milk when we played hooky

That was our ride, we rode it around

Yeah mama, it was good

Till we hit that boy in the pink golf shirt

with the pepper-spray tan and he laid down on the concrete.

Senator Ted Cruz

Rabies and bunnies, let me think about it for a second over here

Hmm, first thing I need are

two sticks and an I.V. and

Then I can just dance in my

little paper hat you bought me.

That's weird!

Mmm-hmmm

Senator Marco Rubio!

My father was a bald tiger (yes he was)

And he took the bad guy walking in the sunshine

The pig intestine's about to drip

Me I just like to pound the shrimp

I own a parrot that doesn't drink.

Uh, Governor Kasich, how about you?

If Britain invaded us,

you'd get a fancy mouth and you'd

drink on the job

every day, oh no

We could give 'em cheese

Or we could give 'em Christmas pants

Mr. Trump, closing statement song

I took Johnny's pogo

kid, I pogo greater

They got five of the meaner reindeers still sitting there waiting

We have a big bird walking in the jungle crying in a tree

Scoobidy dee, listen to me

Don't go around the tuna.

Governor Scott Walker

I might have a whiff, a whiff

Yeah hoo-dee-doo

Why are dormant wives adorable?

I might even have a piece of corn and

I'm gonna make a fortune

Yeah, this beat's got me so baller now

That's right, see I can flow.

And now, Dr. Carson

[laughing]

Not ready....

Ohhh, here we go

I see one wittle wee-wee

Yeah, every mouse has a weenie

And if we could catch a little mouse man

then we could see some little feet too.

Thank you

I see one wittle wee-wee

Yeah, every mouse has a weenie (in America!)

And if we could catch a little mouse man

then we could see some little feet too.

(Little Mousey Feet!)

I see one wittle wee-wee

Yeah, every mouse has a weenie

And if we could catch a little mouse man

then we could see some little feet too.

IN AMERICA!