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  • (loud clap)

  • (playful music)

  • - Who's going first?

  • (playful music)

  • - I'm an FBI agent, I'm actually 43 years old.

  • (playful music)

  • (swooshing sound effect)

  • - I'm regretting choosing this secret,

  • 'cause it's really embarrassing.

  • You're not gonna like me after.

  • - You know, you share the past

  • with the person that you're dating.

  • - We've been off and on I guess for a while--.

  • - Oh my god!

  • - Will you pinky swear promise

  • that you'll like me after this?

  • - Hold up!

  • - I guess there is a woman before my first girlfriend,

  • I never told Mallory about.

  • - So on one of our off periods--

  • - I don't want to know any more!

  • - There was a thing with someone we both know.

  • - I got dared for the rest of freshman year,

  • anytime that you clip your fingernails or toenails,

  • put them in a mason jar.

  • And it became a thing where

  • (nervous laugh)

  • for the rest of of the four years of college

  • it was a large joke and I kept doing it!

  • And I have a mason jar full of

  • fingernails and toenails.

  • Is that disgusting?

  • Do you hate me?

  • - I don't hate you, but yeah, that's straight up gross.

  • - [Girl] It's disgusting.

  • - You do not have it!

  • - That was my first sexual occurrence was with this girl.

  • And we still communicate off and on

  • as a mentor, mentee kind of thing.

  • - Listen! (container rattles)

  • (laughs)

  • - Why are you the grossest thing ever?

  • - Oh my god, you pinky swear promised.

  • Don't be mean.

  • - Are you crying?

  • - Who was it?

  • - Someone whose hair color is now similar to mine.

  • (dark-haired guy sighs deeply)

  • (container rattles)

  • - [Girl] Ohhh

  • - [Guy] I almost just threw up.

  • I'm not even kidding

  • - [Guy] We're going to San Francisco this weekend.

  • - [Girl] Yeah.

  • - [Guy] And she's up there.

  • And I was really thinking about

  • - [Girl] Seeing her.

  • - Did I have to do it for four years? No.

  • (dark haired guy sighs)

  • - And we all said at the end,

  • whoever first gets married in our friend group

  • that's their wedding gift.

  • - That was it?

  • - I thought you'd take that the wrong way.

  • - They're brown. (laughs)

  • - She sort of looks like you but not really.

  • - Oh my god!

  • (both laugh)

  • - [Guy] Ohhhhh

  • - I always felt the dynamic was so good.

  • (both laugh)

  • Now I know why!

  • - Where do you keep it?

  • - Under my bed.

  • - That's even worse.

  • - That's disturbing.

  • - I know, but that's what happened, so--

  • - You're so weird.

  • - You know what, I'm glad you told me that.

  • (playful music)

  • There's more?!

  • - There's more to my secret

  • and it's that the secret's a lie.

  • This isn't toenails, Zachary Evans.

  • - [Guy] It was sort of made up. (laughs)

  • To get a reaction out of you.

  • - [Girl] (laughs) What?!

  • - (clapping on each word) Oh. My. God.

  • Is that the whole thing of this thing?

  • - Yeah.

  • - Son of a bitch!

  • - Thank god you're kidding!

  • - I know.

  • - Coulda thought of a better one, I guess.

  • - Yeah, that was lame. - Yeah.

  • - She was staight up crying.

  • - My eyes teared up, oh my gosh.

  • - You saw that. What the?

  • - That was so weird.

  • - I just did--

  • - You knew about this?

  • - I'm kind of dissapointed in your--

  • - I know

  • - In your imagination.

  • - That just showed your acting chops.

  • - Thanks, you think I'm talented?

  • - Yeah.

  • - Thanks.

  • - I love you.

  • - I love you.

  • (playful music)

  • - I'm disappointed.

  • Thanks guys.

  • - Get a different boyfriend next time.

  • (both laugh)

  • - There might be one.

  • - Stay tuned!

  • - You date Toenail Girl, huh?

  • Yeah, she's pretty,

  • but she's crazy for keeping toenails.

  • Yeah, I know!

  • (girl laughs loudly)

  • I just found out the same time you did.

  • - I love you.

(loud clap)

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