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  • Merry X-Mas everybody!

  • Tonight we've got a wonderful musical guest who's gonna to sing a special Christmas song for the kids.

  • And we've invited several local children from a local shelter to join her on stage.

  • And now let's give a big holiday welcome to Grammy winning singer song writer Tori McLachlan!

  • This song is called Merry Ex-Mas.

  • Ho ho ho ho ho ho.

  • Fa la la la.

  • Every year during the season of cheer,

  • I'm crushed and drowned by the Yule tide.

  • On Christmas 2004 you walked out the door,

  • And thus began my obsession with suicide.

  • While other people bake cookies and ginger bread,

  • The only thing I want to put in my oven is my head.

  • To cover up my noose marks I wear turtle necks.

  • And it's all because of you, my Ex.

  • Merry Ex-Mas, you shattered my jingle bells.

  • Merry Ex-Mas, also known as the twelve days of hell.

  • Merry Ex-Mas, you've burnt me like a Yule log.

  • Merry Ex-Mas, you took a leak in my egg nog.

  • Merry Ex-Mas. Ho ho ho ho ho ho.

  • I won a Grammy. Fa la la la.

  • Carolers come, their songs leave me so numb,

  • I sit nude, in the corner just rocking.

  • And my stomach aches from eating seven fruit cakes, Still I feel empty as a poor child's stocking.

  • My white Christmas is black and my eyes are blood red.

  • I pray to angels except angels are just people who are dead.

  • My Santa Claus hat feels like a thorny crown, Cause menopause is coming to town.

  • Merry Ex-Mas, you've crushed my crush and my soul.

  • Merry Ex-Mas, my heart is as black as a lump of coal.

  • Merry Ex-Mas, you've left me so lonely and pissed.

  • Merry Ex-Mas, your death is at the top of my wish list.

  • Merry Ex-Mas, ho ho ho ho ho...

  • Thank you very much. Thank you. Merry Christmas.

Merry X-Mas everybody!

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