Fifteen percent of-? They can't just take fifteen per-

That's like twenty pounds! That'll kill people!

Well... possibly a leg? I knew this Danish raider once, had the most spectacular contraption attached to his-

The text seems to indicate an area in the vicinity of the liver.

Well- can't we just Merchant of Venice this crap? Argue that they're entitled to their twenty-pounds of flesh but no blood...

"this percentage and all attendant materials, and any and all collateral damage accrued in collection

shall be the responsibility of the student."

God, lawyers are evil.

Okay. Okay- so we warn everyone. We get them off campus.

Because fleeing went so well the last time?

Or we- we band together. We have another rally-

Did you see what was left of the rally after the crows? It looked like the end of a Tarantino movie.

There may be a loophole.

The Charter allows for the removal of the Chair, by unanimous vote-

Hasturdude and Owl Lady are not going to vote to remove Belmonde.

-or if the Chair is bested by another Board Member in conflict.

Well, I'm fairly certain my facing Ms. Belmonde in combat doesn't improve anyone's chances.

In my youth, of course, I was a great fencer-

It doesn't say trial by "combat". It says, "conflict".

I think the Baron could challenge Ms. Belmonde to a verbal debate.

Well, that's a possibility. A debate. He could win a debate-

Ripping! A filibuster! A war with words!

I shall bend my wits to the task. You know, once, in the high court of France-

Yeah...I- I think we might have some work to do.

[Yankee Doodle-esque military marching music]

And that was the beginning of my great affair with the Grand Duchess Anastasia!

A year and a half of caviar and vodka and torrid, torrid...rumpy-bumpy-stein

How about that?

You were supposed to be talking about funding for the repairs.

Also, it was supposed to be a 45 second response.

Oh. Well. And how long was my-?

The last half-hour.

Ah.

We need more documentation on the budget cuts. Can you see what you can pull from the newspaper files?

Sure thing.

Well. Why don't we just take another crack at it. When I was in the Prussian cavalry that was our motto-

Well, actually it was "Paradise on earth is found on the backs of horses" but that always got us into trouble at parties-

Or we could take a break!

Of course. Of course. I shall just go and see if the charming Fraulein Perry needs any help.

We're doomed.

[Carmilla clapping...sarcastically] Well, maybe the Board will find the crazy Grandpa

schtick endearing and...we are so, so doomed.

Ah, you're not wrong. The Baron Funchausen has a better chance at wrestling a bear.

You know what? Unless you've got some great idea about how to save the student body's collective liver,

why don't you just keep lost weekending. I'm sure all the partying and snacking on bystanders completely

fills the void of your useless, apathetic life.

Oooh, devastating. Clearly I have no choice but to prove how wrong you are by hauling myself out

of bed and saving your whiny ass.

Yeah. Okay. Maybe let's not throw ourselves at the centuries old, supernatural murder machine.

But you do that all the time.

Yeah, well. I work out.

She's just doing it to get a rise out of you.

Do all vampires turn evil after you break up with them? Is that like, somewhere in their contract?

Yeah...Hey. Let's go see if we can peel the Baron off of Perry and give this another try-

Perry- are you okay? Did you get hurt again?

No. No. No. I'm fine. I was looking through the files and I found these-

Budget details? Why are you so worked up about-

No. No. No. These aren't budget details. And you are going to want to take a look at them.

Holy Hufflepuff.

We're gonna win.

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