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  • [Love Will Have Its Sacrifices opening theme]

  • Good Morning gentle... [cracks neck] viewers

  • You know what's even less fun than having your blanket stolen in the middle of the night?

  • You guessed it!

  • Cohabitation with your ex!

  • I mean– I know I had love goggles on, but did I really not notice any of this?

  • The hair, in the shower drain. On the furniture.

  • EVERYWHERE.

  • The used dishes. The used bloodbags. The used...

  • Then there's her relationship to clothes. Or lack thereof.

  • Which clearly she's just doing to drive me nuts.

  • Not...that it's working.

  • And finally, the cherry on top of this whole sundae of awesome,

  • we all get to hang out with Carm's BFF, big sis, Mattie.

  • But if Holly Go-Nightly thinks she's going to run me out of this apartment that easy,

  • she's got another thing coming.

  • [tense orchestral music...the kind you might hear right before a sword fight]

  • [...or a tampon confetti fight.]

  • What the creeping hell?

  • I thought we might get along better if we established some boundaries.

  • Boundaries?

  • Yep. That's your side of the room, and this is my side of the room.

  • Now you can be as gross as you want, as long as it stays on your side.

  • Oh my god. You mean that.

  • Do you think it'll work?

  • What?

  • Do you think your little line will hold back the nasty vampires?

  • Do you think this will make sure you never have another thought you don't want to have about one of us?

  • I'm pretty sure the blood-mustache is going to take care of that.

  • What the hell, right? Big sis is just planning on killing us all anyway?

  • Not that it's any of your business, but I didn't kill anyone.

  • Mattie and I just had a little fun.

  • Classy.

  • Laura! Laura, we-

  • What in the name of-?

  • A most peculiar approach to interior design-

  • reminds me of a family I met in Novogorod-

  • No. Nope. Whatever Odd Couple crazy is going on here, we do not have time for this.

  • Belmonde is making her move. She has a big vote scheduled tomorrow.

  • For what?

  • She says it's an action under section twenty-three of the charter, but-

  • we don't have any copies of the section twenty-three.

  • Ms. Belmonde's history with these sorts of affairs would tend to indicate something Duplicitous.

  • Unspeakable. Gruesome.

  • There has to be some way to figure out what's in that missing file.

  • You know it's okay if you can't remember it. I ran your entire consciousness through a USB cable.

  • I'm fairly certain I know the document. The transfer seems to have left me with a photographic memory.

  • Huh. Yaaay me.

  • If I'm correct, section twenty-three of the charter describes the University's

  • ability to sell or trade its "living assets".

  • Oh god. Please tell me that doesn't mean what I think it means.

  • It looks as though in addition to selling off the Anglerfish, Ms. Belmonde intends to

  • sell off fifteen percent of the human student body.

  • Yep. That's the one.

  • Oh, no. I'm sorry, I misread that.

  • That should be fifteen percent of the human students' bodies.

  • See that subscribe button? You should click it. [Love Will Have Its Sacrifices end theme]

[Love Will Have Its Sacrifices opening theme]

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