[If Dentists Were Honest]

I spend all this time and energy working on your teeth and you won't even smile at me.

I can tell you flossed this morning and not a single time before that.

Now you don't need this many shots of Novocaine but I'm a little hung over and I might mess up.

I like asking you questions when you can't respond 'cause I think it's hilarious.

You know, I've always found the human mouth a disgusting place.

I could take care of this in 20 minutes right now but let's spread this out over three appointments.

To be perfectly honest, I hate going to the dentist too.

I never go to the dentist.

Feel those little chunks in your mouth?

That's your shattered teeth.

How come you never ask me any questions?

I have a life.

Oops. That wasn't the right tooth.

Do you want bubblegum or mint flavor? Because you're an adult.

Bubblegum.

It really doesn't matter what flavor you choose, they all taste like wiper fluid.

It's just gonna be a tiny pinch of excruciating pain. Ow!

I hate Finding Nemo.

Suction.

It's never not funny.

Bite me again and I'll smack you, I don't care if you're five.

This guy's got a nicer smile than I do.

You're gonna need braces.

She does all the work, I'm just here for show.

Four out of five dentists agree that you're an asshole.

You think this is scary? Wait till you see the bill.