the first wave, how many melee minions would there be in the middle lane after 2 minutes?

Yes, I'm teaching- but it's not what it looks like! There's some standardized test next

week and if they all score above the bare minimum I get a cash bonus.

Normally I just seduce the superintendent and get the questions ahead of time

but he's playing hard to get.

The initial wave plus waves at 30 seconds, 1 minute, 90 seconds, and 2 minutes, 5 waves

total, 5 times 3 is fiftee-

Fifty-three! I said it first!

Only cause it was so easy none of us wasted our breath.

I'm a dude so of course I'm naturally good at math.

>>PRODUCER: Pfft yeah, okay, Vicky.

>>VIPER: It's pronounced Viper.

Man I gotta take a crap. Cause that's what us dudes do!

You comin'?

It's fifteen! Fifteen melee minions!

Wrong.

Hehe yeah, they were. But 53 was a good guess, right, Mr. Daniels?

No.

What?? But- but- five times three--

If x equals allied minions spawned, y equals enemy minions spawned, and z and n equal allied

and enemy C-S per minute, respectively, f of x is equal to zn over x minus xy over y

to the power of n plus zy over n to the power of q.

Ya got that right.

I made it up. I know he'll help raise the class average so I get that bonus, but getting

Castor to kill himself would be so funny.

My favorite part was the q.

It was like- quuuu.

Was it n plus Z-Y or x-y?

Christ-

The answer is zero!

I'm pretty sure five times three isn't zero... 4th grade Miss Garner's class I was multiplication

tables champion 3 weeks in a row! Then we got to sevens. We do not like sevens.

Seven.

Waaah!

The answer is zero cause they're all dead. Every last one of them! Dead! Just like Castor's

precious Daddy, and his daddy before him! Dead!

But on the test next week the correct answer would be 15, yes.

Woohoo!

Moving on. After you spawn you follow your attack route until you reach an enemy to engage.

Every few seconds, you scan the area for the highest priority target.

Top priority- right here. Target me at your own risk.

>>PRODUCER: Why didn't you smash him?

[writing]

>> PRODUCER: Uhhh... what? You're not making any sen-

The only time you deviate from this standard behavior is when you receive a call for help

from an ally-

Calling for help is for the women!

When you receive a call for help from an ally, you evaluate whether your current target or

the target designated by the call for

holy crap I'm hearing myself and it's putting me to sleep.

(speaking as he writes) call... for... holy... crap... I'm hearing...

myself...

Aww, dammit! Everyone head over to the Rift training area.

Hey kid, c'm'here.

You got those pics from last night?

These are great, of course. Just sucks we don't have any from above.

You need me to explain that? Hmph, okay, Sally- ahem- here goes. You have to be above a chick

to look down her shirt.

Oh, hey- my friends and I need a 4th to tee off this Saturday- your husband play golf?

More?

I'd be speechless if I weren't right now saying holy jugs look at those jugs.

You never cease to amaze me, kid.

What's next, the pics from her after-workout shower? Heh.

Great stuff, kid, truly. But we got a problem. The Champion Academy for Champions is sending

its rejects to train with us.

They can't be champions, but their parents donated so much this year the school bought

a submarine. For parties, maybe?

Anyway, so they tell the tards they're assigned to minion preparation duty or something so

they think they're important, then send'em here. The kids are happy to be somewhere where

they're not the most useless, and the parents don't care, long as the kid gets a cock diploma

>>PRODUCER: You said cock.

Did I? Well, you would know. My bad. I meant cac. C-A-C.

Normally we can get out of class by letting Castor hurt himself, but it's not gonna be

that simple with these brats. They get so much as a papercut and we're fu--

Kid? Where'd you go'oh shit!

[Badass music plays (because Mutey's a badass)]