Well this is what it describes itself as

An Ultimate Healing

that exceeds the sky of time is here.

Exceeds the sky of time..??

Does it though? Does it exceed the sky of time?

When I first heard the concept of love hotels

These...secretive hotels these couples go to

To do love-related things in an inconspicuous manner

The first thing I thought was

"Brilliant!"

No one will ever know what you're up to, if you're caught walking into a hotel

especially designed for LOVE

Which inconspicuous love hotel should we go to?

The one with the roman temple on top

or the one with Father Christmas standing outside?

Nooo, fuck it! Let's go to the one that looks like Jurassic Park

And to me, that's the irony of Love Hotels

if you're seen walking in a regular hotel

there's an assumption that you're gonna sleep, relax...and steal some towels and toothbrushes

But if you're seen walking into a Love Hotel, the assumptions might be different

Well it's not just sleeping and...bed things

You have food as well

Food,pizzas

My favorite aspect of this is

There's a room where adult atmosphere is actually tossed

Whatever that means

But Love Hotels are a pretty big business in Japan

With 25000 Love Hotels

Visited over 500 million times a year

In a market worth 40 billion dollars

And that is a lot of love

But with so many Love Hotels it's important to stand out

which has led to a variety of brilliant names and things

I know I'd love to have been at the board meetings when these names were thought up

My favorite is of course, the Hotel Mickey Cookies

Not just because of the genius combination of Mickey and Cookies

But I can picture that Eureka moment the hotel owner had

with just startling clarity

The Hotels are actually very convenient due to their low prices and flexibility

As a result of not being able to book the rooms in advance

So with that in mind if you're travelling around or if you're tired

You can just check in and get yourself a room

For example my friend and I were in Osaka, and we missed our train back to our hostel

so we decided to check into a Love Hotel instead

And we were just looking for a simple cosy comfortable room

And so we walked into a Love Hotel

And when you walk into a Love Hotel, you wont meet anyone

What you will have is just a big screen

And you will push the number of the room that you wanna go in

And unfortunately there was only one room left in that Love Hotel

And frankly it took…

it took the Mickey....

COOKIES

You know when you just wanna go to sleep…

You just wanna lay down on the bed

Fuck is this?

Fasten with a rope and there needs to be nothing

It's so terrifying

This hotel..this is what it describes itself as

An ultimate healing

That exceeds the sky of time is here

"Exceeds the sky of time"...?

Does it though?

Does it exceed the sky of time?

If this is some sort of scenario you're comfortable paying for

I don't know who would want to pay for this

Granted I paid for it

But....

There's a huge cloud of regret that hangs over this experience

Interested in uniforms?

You can dress up as the....

School, Nurse

School, Maid, Other!

That's the most exciting one

Why is there like chairs on the walls, like what purpose?

There's one, two, three, four

This room is for a couple

And they put..this many sofas in

What disturbs me more than the sofas

Is what can be described as...the cage

What's goin on in there?

No...

It might not exceed the sky of time

but if you want to do horrific acts under the watchful eye

of Hello Kitty

There's always the Hello Kitty S&M themed room

in Hotel Candy Hall in Osaka

It's said that when the hotel changed hands

they toned down the Hello Kitty Room

Especially as there were photos of Hello Kitty showing up all over the internet

blindfolded, and gagged

But the room is still there, just with less gagging

Still, if the idea of the Hello Kitty Room is still uncomfortable to bear

There is the room themed like a school classroom

where you can relive the magic of studying Maths, but in new...and exciting ways

If we're going to Love Hotels based on exterior appearances

it would be difficult to avoid one of Japan's most famous

Love Hotels which is the Queen Elizabeth

And whilst the rooms are fairly standard or being with a nautical theme

The hotel is best known for its eye-catching exterior

Which is a huge replica of the Queen Elizabeth, itself

But of course, no replica of a huge ship

that definitely isn't the Titanic, wouldn't be complete

without Jack and Rose standing at the front of the ship, pulling their infamous pose

just like they did in Titanic

If you ever find yourself at the Russian Embassy

or the Tokyo American Club

you are about a 2 min walk away

from one of Tokyo's most infamous fetish Love Hotels

the Alpha-In Hotel

Where every room has suspension systems, bondage horses, crosses and things

that I don't even want to talk about

It's said that the rooms are inspired by Guantanamo Bay

So you know they're gonna be great fun

With strong prison themes, and torture scenarios in every room

But let's have a run through some of those wonderful rooms

each with their own unique style

For example there's the Medical Room, for Clinical examinations

The Shame-Style Room, where a toilet is just there exposed in the room but in a cage

There's the Cave Style, the Mirror Style, the Chinese Style

The Space Style, complete with what I like to call, a Sex Hammock

and finally, Beginner Style, for people like me

who haven't got a fucking clue of how to use the equipment in the room

You know those drunken "what if" conversations you have down the bar with your friends

I'm pretty sure that's how this place was conceived

What if you could have sex in Jurassic Park?!

Yeaaah!

Wait a minute!

Now I know what you're probably thinking

Are there blowup dolls of Jeff Goldblum and the answer

is NO

But the hotel JZauruss is themed around Jurassic Park

and for 30 dollars, you can have 90 minutes

in the Park and experience the tension and excitement

of walking through the gates of Jurassic Park

or be it, for different reasons

And whilst the room are fairly standard

with the good old caged bed and Mummy room

This hotel is awesome just because of the detail and because of the concept I mean

It's Jurassic Park, what more could you possibly want?

We're gonna make a fortune with this place

What's better than having a train carriage all to yourself?

Having a train carriage to yourself, in your Hotel Room!

From the outside of the Towers Hotel you wouldn't think much of it

Especially considering it's next-door to arguably Japan's most disappointingly named Love Hotel

But the Towers Hotel has a great reputation for its up-market rooms including

A room with a swimming pool

A room with a pool table

And even a room with bumper cars

But its most famous room is the room themed like a Subway train

And just for the level of detail that went into the room

from the signs to the glass floor of the carriage itself

and for creating a scenario

of limitless train possibility

The Tower Hotel comes out on top in my opinion

So if you're in Japan, try a Love Hotel

be it with your boyfriend, girlfriend or just a friend

They're cheap, they're convenient

and they have loads of cool stuff in the room

from Karaoke to sometimes even Saunas

And whilst this video might have made

Love Hotels seem creepy or strange

Honestly, they're not, they are pretty standard

Give it a shot!

And when you do, you too can exceed the Sky of Time

See ya later!

Let's get one thing clear, yeah line!

Stay over there

Stay on your side

Mister clever premium face man

That is such a cheeky laugh

So this is one of my favorite expressions, the Shit!

It means like, The Best!

Your car is the shit

Number 27: The shit!