One time someone took a s**t, rubbed it all over a blank disc, put it into a CD player and out came the first Brad Paisley album.

Some of my best friends are black, but Darrius Rucker sucks ass.

Tim McGraw's new song is more embarrassing than your mom finding your penis pump.

Reginald, you need to move out, man.

If @bretteldredge ever gets arrested, it'll be because he's doing something dumb in Walmart.

Fair, fair, fair statement.

Why does Kacey Musgraves look like the house band at Chili's?

Marijuana works wonders. Just look at Willie Nelson. Bastard is still alive and won't die.

You got it, pal.

I'm legitimately pissed off at the fact that Thomas Rhett is ugly. Like what're you doin man? Your voice and looks don't match.

Sorry?

Rascal Flatts please do us all a favor and stop making music. You are so awful. #sobad #spareus #soundofdeath

I would rather listen to the sound of my grandpa eating a nectarine for 3:30 then listen to a Florida Georgia Line song.

Jake Owen is a c**k sucking bitch.

Went to Randy Houser show and was blown away by his huge voice AND how much looks like he's being f**cked by a gorilla on the high notes.

Gross. I just thought of Scotty McCreery.

Sam hunt is the male version of Taylor swift. Except his songs suck....

Dan and Shay are definitely butt buddies.

Hunter Hayes is so tiny, he sleeps in a hot dog bun.

How did you know?

@ChrisYoungMusic I hope you die in a f**king plane wreck you c**k sucking f**k.

Didn't really like da carrie underwood concert seem do dull it had no excitement brong bck da soccer team

I didn't know what he just said.

Little Big Town I would buy a ticket to one of your concerts just so I could punch each of you in the face.

-Wow. -What? - We're living in a violent society! -You are mean.