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Let me-- [ Gasps ]
Let me tell you a little story, Brewster.
When I was seven years old,
my daddy caught me smokin' a cigar.
Locked me in the closet for three days and three nights...
with nothin' but a box of cigars and a book of matches.
No food, Brewster. No water, just those goddamned cigars.
Wouldn't let me out until I finished every last one.
Taught me one hell of a lesson.
I'm going to do to you what my daddy did to me.
I'm gonna teach you to hate spending money.
I'm gonna make you so sick of spending money...
that the mere sight of it will make you want to throw up.
So, here's my proposition.
You have 30 days in which to spend 30 million bucks.
If you can do it, you get 300 million.
- There's gotta be a catch. - Of course, there's a catch.
You have to spend the 30 million,
but after 30 days, you're not allowed to own any assets.
No houses, no cars, no jewelry--
nothin' but the shirt on your back.
Sounds easy, don't it ?
Well, you'll find out !
[ Gasping ] No, no, no, no.
You can hire anybody,
but you must get value for their services.
You can donate five percent to charity,
and you can gamble another five percent away,
but you can't give this money away.
And that includes buying the Hope Diamond...
for some bimbo as a birthday present.
I know what you're thinking, Brewster.
You'll buy yourself a dozen Picassos...
and use them for firewood, right ?
Wrong ! You must not destroy...
what is inherently valuable.
That's instant disqualification.
Oh, yeah. I almost forgot.
You're not allowed to tell anybody...
why you have to spend this money, Why can't I tell my friends ?
because I don't want anybody helpin' you out !
Nobody helped me out in that closet with those cigars.
I never had any friends.
Well, Brewster, what do you think ? You got the balls for it ?
I doubt it. That's why I put a special wimp clause in my will.
You can have a million dollars, right now, forget the whole thing.
Or you can go for the big one, Brewster--
The 300 million.
But if you fail,
you don't get diddly.